Lisa, I am so sorry about the murder of your son. Unfortunately the other Moms here are dealing with the same loss but this is a place where you can talk to others who do understand.The only way I go through this is a day at a time and sometimes it's been only a minute at a time. Also the support of others really does help. If you need someone to talk to I will send you my phone number or if you want you can send me yours and I will call you. This is such a difficult journey and at times it feels unbearable. I am sorry that you have to experience this pain. Hugs, Darien