I'm having a rough time as well. My son was murdered earlier this year. I could not imagine losing two children. Your pain must be overwhelming - I know there is nothing I can say to make it better or to move the healing process along. I am glad you're hanging in there - as hard as it is - for your other children.
There are counselors out there if you think you'd like to talk to someone who can help you - my victim advocate recommended contacting Hospice for free grief counseling. There is also a group called Parents of Murdered Children - they may have a group that meets near you - check online to see.
I just feel so horribly for you. I know I cannot take away the pain, but I will pray that your days get better and you can find some joy in time...
Hugs, Dawn (Tim's mom)
Hi Celeste I have not been on this site in so long your story was the first I read I cannot put in words on how sorry I am for the pain you have in your whole being, my son Ernest crayton was murdered 10-2-06 it was gang violence also he was shot a total of 9 times he was not involved in a gang at all I have lived in my neighborhood for 24 years and these guys were looking for someone to kill and they came across my son he was 3 days til his 19th birthday I will never get over losing him and at times I feel so helpless because I sit up and say what can I do to get him to come back to me but I know that is impossible I now find my self hiding and crying to myself not wanting anyone to see me I guess since it has been 6yrs people will say oh why are you still crying but if they have never lost a child they will never understand what we as mom's are going thru I have lost one child but to lose 2 would be the end of me I say I will never be whole again and at times I wanna scream because I have been bottling all of this hurt inside of me,my heart truly goes out to you please be strong and continue to come here and write and chat because it will help just talking with someone who is in your shoes,I did and it helped so much. Peace from my heart to yours,Cheryl
Hello Mothers I'm back jus to up date U.. My life hasn't change to much nor these feelings. I cry daily but not to much around family & friends.Im still confuse on this whole situation. I find myself still asking Y. God has been Blessing Me. I've enrolled into college. An taking life as it comes. I've found myself distance from my other two kids. They don't come around as much as needed. So i'm here alone fighting this battle alone. I miss my two children so bad. It's the little things that set Me back. I'm praying for justice for my son. I want to become an Activist on gang related crimes. I want to start a Joesph X. foundation. To help victoms of Mistaken Identity due to gang related crimes. Just gotta find help to get started. Or even a Seat Belt Activist... I gotta do something in my children's name. I want to Thank everyone who is supporting Me. As a single Mother is so hard not to jus throw in my towel an quit. But something within Me jus wont let Me. Here is my num for anyone who wants to help Me.. Time to take a stand. I'm ready to fight back an give it my all. Not jus in my town. All over the world. Thank Yahll an God Bless. A Mothers pain never Ends.941 538-2569
May God strengthen you and give you peace. May your son's killers be brought to justice and I hope you get some closure in this tragedy.
dear celeste, i'm new to this group. we've paid a terrible price to be part of this group, and you have paid double. It's beyond my ability to think how horrible this is for you. I've read your story from the beginning and the comments. the last post was a few months ago, and you had started college and had begun to fight against gang violence. you have a beautiful name and it sounds like you have a beautiful heart, too. In my heart I want to join with the others who pray for you and your two children who are still on earth for God's comfort moment by moment and for peace concerning the question of "why?" My son who was murdered was my only son. I have four beautiful daughters. Until this happened, I didn't know the depth of a mother's grief nor did I have any idea how terribly difficult it is for the siblings. If you don't mind my asking, what are the names of the children who are living in heaven, and what are the names of the children who still live on earth? I understand that there are two boys and two girls. I think there should be a group for the siblings, too, don't you?