Cynthia, I hardly ever go to the cemetary. I just hate seeing that headstone. It makes everything more final in my mind even though I know it anyway. I don't really know how to explain it. On April 5th Keara will have been dead for 5 years. I will go to the cemetary that day with my grandchildren. I agree with everything that others have said. I guess we somehow put one foot in front of the other and on some days we can't.