I miss my baby so much. Her birthday is coming up in April. As some of you know I have recieved mail from my Laycees killer Vincent. Well about a week ago I got one, its been months, anyways I wanted to just send it back unopened, but **** it if I didnt open it up and read it anyways thinking maybe he would tell me what happened that day he took Laycees life. This ******* tells me he needs me to forgive him for not being able to save her. OH MY GOD. He didnt ask me to forgive him for beating her head in, just that he couldnt save her. I cant even believe he has the nerve to write me at all. Im dying inside and no one knows or cares. Sorry I just had to get that out. It really seems like I have no one anymore, not out in the world. Every one has moved on and I dont even think other people ever think about Laycee anymore and that really hurts me. Rips my heart out. She is on my mind every minute. When your child first dies everyone wants to make sure your okay, then two months later they have all moved on and wonder why the hell your not the same person anymore...I dont get it. Sorry for rambling, this is the only place I feel I can.
Hi April
I know how you feel people just don't seem to understand why we can't move on, I hope they never find out why. We will never be the person we were before our lives have changed forever and so have we. I can't believe he even has the gall to write to you. Does he think you are going to forgive him and say all is well no problem! He is a real piece of work!!
Sending Hugs your way
Jim's Mom
So he needs you to forgive him? Not in this lifetime. He is so arrogant to even write you and expect forgiveness. As far as the rest of the world goes I know exactly what you mean. At first there are a lot of people supporting you and then they start to disappear, and yes it does seem that they want you to be the same person which of course we will never be. It is a very lonely place to be and I am so thankful that we have this place to talk to and support each other. Love ya, Darien
Hi April
That our children were murdered by people they loved and trusted is an extra burden some of us share here. I'm so sorry you have to endure his sick requests of forgiveness.
Asking for forgiveness because he could not save your precious Laycee as he took her life just shows how warped the mind of someone must be that has done this wrongest of wrongs to their soul...my boss says that in their hearts they will always know what they have done and so does our Creator.
This pain we suffer alone in our hearts I try to look at as a gift of the never-ending love that can only grow. It's with us all the time somehow managed, at times almost un-noticed and then it's there. Un-ignorably Painful, fully noticed, felt as only a loss like this can be felt. I miss Chris every moment I talk to him often still...I still tell him every day how sorry I am,it sucks that his father did this. I'm glad most of you don't have the guilt I have now.
Chris would be 30 years old ln one week. An age he used to say he thought he might not see.
I really miss him and wish I had been more aware of how things had become. But he never wanted me worrying but I wish he could have told me more but I guess he did, we just didn't know what we were dealing with.
We also share the pain of knowing that no one can begin to imagine our pain. They can't go there and neither did I, not like this. Being caught in this moment makes me happy for those who aren't but envious of their innocence that we here have lost for ever.
I'm so sorry you lost your baby like this April. I think of you often. I'm sorry this happened to you so young. It's such a brutal reality we all share here.
I'm sending you all lots of loving thoughts.
