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I cant stop screaming.

OH my god my son is gone, all I feel is the shooting pain that is my heartbeat. I'm afraid of all I lost when that scum killed my son Tyrell. I can only sream and cry OH GOD WHY MY CHILD, I've BEEN GOOD AND YOU HAVE TURNWED YOUR BACK ON ME.

Re: I cant stop screaming.

Cynthia, I am so sorry that you are going through this horrible pain. All of us here know what it feels like. It is the worst thing that as a mother you could ever go through. And yes we question what we could have possibly done to deserve this or what our children could have done, and there are no answers.Just know that you have a lot of wonderful caring women here that can help you to get through this. You can express how you feel without judgement, and you receive lots of love and understanding. Love ya, Darien

Re: I cant stop screaming.


I am so sorry you are going through this, one thing I can tell you is this pain will soften. I look back on the first days, weeks, months and wonder how any of us made it through that horrible time.
Sending Hugs to you
Jim's mom

Re: I cant stop screaming.

I understand believe me we all do we've all done our share of screaming and crying and the why's!!! I am so sorry I wish I could make your pain go away or soften the hole in your heart. It is ok to scream, scream as loud as you want!!!!! Like Shirley said we somehow manage, the pain never goes away it softens but it is still there.

Re: I cant stop screaming.

I'm so sorry about everything you are going thru! I know what that pain fills like. My son was mudered in May 2001. I went thru some pretty low times myself. I didn't want to live without him. At that time I didn't stop to think about what it would do to the rest of my loved ones to lose me to!
A dear older friend of mine told me just to remember " that God didn't do this!" It was the person that murdered my son that did it!! God knows it's the hard thing i ever had to do.
I was mad at Myself, the would & everyone in it. I got hooked on some really bad drugs. Now sitting here lokking back I really don't know how I lived thru it!Well yes I do because God had other plans for me.
I know you do know me or our story but from the years 2001 thru 2002or many 2006. I hit rock bottom! I guess you know what that is? I was at my loses point.
So just keep your head up and don't give up on GOD!
He is the only way I mad it.
e-mail me and we will talk more.. May 13,2011 my son Jason will dead 10yrs. It still feels like yesterday.
I'll keep you in my prayers.. and hope to hear from you soon!

Barbara Davis

Re: I cant stop screaming.

Thank you ladies for all the love and support, I know you don't know me personally but I feel like I have made so well meed friends here. I don't post much because I'm not sure I can put into words how I feel but I read all the post that go up and pray for you all. Thanks to Barbra and shirly and everyone who helps keep me from taking my life into my own hands. I do have to other children I need to try to live for.