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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)
I found this beautiful poem on Waylon Kitchens' last memory site.His 4 yr anniversary was yesterday.He was a 3 yr old little boy who drowned in a pool at a family birthday party.The MOM is incredibly strong.I think it pertains to anyone who has lost a child no matter how.
We have shared our tears and our sorrow.
We have given encouragement to each other -
given hope for a brighter tomorrow.
We share the title of grieving mother.
Some of us lost older daughters or sons
who we watched grow over the years.
Some have lost their babies before their lives begun
But no matter the age we cry the same tears.
We understand each other’s pain
The bond we share is very strong.
With each other there is no need to explain.
The path we walk is hard and long.
Our children brought us together -
they didn't want us on this journey alone.
They knew we needed each other
to survive the pain of them being gone.
So take my hand my friend.
We may stumble and fall along the way
but we'll get up and try again
because together we can make it day by day.
We can give each other hope.
We'll create a place where we belong.
Together we will find ways to cope
because we are Angel Moms and together we are strong!
Love and God Bless
I love that poem Barb and it is true. It encourages me to try to come in to chat more often so I can talk to my sister Moms.
What a beautiful poem I love it, Angel moms that is a perfect way to describe us moms.
Sending you Love and Hugs Barb
It really is a beautiful poem and I too think Angel Moms is very nice. Mahalo Barb, nice to read on my break from the other people's world where my acting skills are put to their daily practice,
lots of love to my fellow Angel Moms
It is a most beautiful poem and the words are so true Barb but it seems like when we are stumbling there isn't always someone there for us. Not sure if it is so much more difficult for Angel Moms who have had their child murdered than those who have lost them more "nicely" as my counselor would say. I so do wish the poem were more true for us but it isn't what I have been seeing in the past few months and that is very sad as we have always found this board to be our rock or as you said the best thing since buttered bread but perhaps people don't like bread anymore...IDK....All r Love...Laura & AV
Yes your words are true I have not always thought that there was someone around when I needed them nor was I always there for them,but I have to realize that because we all live in different parts of the United States and we all have to work for a living and we all have family problems and we all have health issues and we are all at different stages of our grief that we may not all be on the same page at the same time.As each new mother comes on this board it brings the horror back over and over till sometimes that is all I was doing was crying and hating.My answer to this was to take a break so to say.So last month I tried that,tried pushing the ugly thoughts from my head,but I couldn't push them from my heart so that didn't work.Your and Vicki's visit the year after Nicky died still remains one of the closest memories I have of someone who reached out to me in their own pain when I was so in need and I want to apologize if I dropped the ball and let you's down,that was not my intent nor is it for any MOM on this board.My friends,family and coworkers all know your children through me cause that is all I talk about.
I think because our children were murdered that there is so much unfinished business out there that,that is why we are different too.Court dates,the delays,the injustices,the anxiety,the unanswered questions,so unfair on so many different levels.
It is not always healthy to come on this board and speak of nothing but sadness,My heart rejoices when I read that Shelby made it and Matt is doing good in the reserves and that you have opened up a shop in Lisa's name or Lois is making jewelry from shells that Chris led her to, or Shirley got a job,or Shawna had a baby boy or Darien and Bette got to meet etc.Of course these times are when we are not feeling down,but rather encouraged and the instinct is to cheer you all on.It is much more difficult to come up with posts that deal directly with pain,for even though we all know each others pain,at times we won't always know how intense it is for that particular day for that person.You and the girls have been through a very difficult month.I know you feel beat up and helpless watching others in the same pain you are experiencing,but I also know that you have been a big factor in the lives of the families who are new to this pain just like you are to those on this board.Please Please know that you are thought of everyday as is Lisa even though I may not have the right words to show it.
This board in itself is not enough to erase any pain,I know I've tried,the pain remains and sometimes is increased,but I have found that reading and answering posts gives me a sort of life line to all of you and sometimes the connection is what matters.It is confirmation that although life can suck we are all still putting one foot in front of the other and reaching tomorrow.Everytime someone comes on the board for whatever reason I think okay at least she's answering,she's alive,she's thinking.
Part of last month's decision not to light candles etc was because I was feeling like the only ones who cared were people who didn't know Nicky,they never met him.I wanted conversations with people who knew Nicky and I looked around and his friends were gone they've moved on.That hit me like a ton of bricks!!! Oh you'll have the occasional run in with those who knew him with the same excuses I was meaning to come by but I'm still so sad.REALLY? Ya think? How do I explain this feeling in a post? I coudln't even put it in words.It was this sickening feeling that I was too embarrased to share.There were over a thousand mourners when Nicky died.I can count on one hand how many have returned to show their affection for him after the first couple of months.I was waiting to see if anyone would post on this subject There were posts about siblings and family and strangers etc but not about friends.I knew they loved him but there are no visits or candles from them.I probably will never know the answer to this as I will never come out and ask them.One thing I love about this board is that no one ever really holds back their feelings,that is truly the best way to let all of us know how you are feeling so we can be in tune to them.
I still read the poem and find it a beautiful way to show that somehow,somewhere there are those who care how you make it till tomorrow.Love ya bunches Love and God Bless
Barb I understand how reading messages from new moms sometimes pulls all those bad memories from the back of your mind to the front once again. I have wondered if staying away from the site would help, then I get to thinking that those memories so many times pop to the front for no reason what so ever. I am finding that every now and then really good memories are popping into my head sometimes just some little thing triggers a memory that makes me smile. I do know what you mean though about our angels friends the funeral home was so full of people for Jimmy people had to stand in the hall and there were even people standing outside (and it was snowing first snow we have had in December in years and so far the last) a few of Jimmy's friends still stop by and there is one of his friends who calls me or stops by all the time. It is so very hard to watch people move on with their lives when we just can't seem to do that. When My Jim would drive through town in his car or on his bike it seemed everyone in town would wave or holler hey to him. One day on my way to work a guy I didn't know waved and got a big smile on his face when he saw Jimmy's car that warmed my heart and made me smile. This is a hard life we are now living to me it seems no matter how many people are around I still at times feel alone.
I can come here and talk about My Jim without getting the feeling that this or that person really doesn't want to hear what I am saying. I was chatting with an old friend on FB one day she asked me how I was doing when I started explaining about Jim she just signed off and that was that. We moms truly understand the need for others to listen and we moms truly want to listen and talk about all of our angels.
I love you all
Big Jim's Mom
I just want to say how much I love, repect and admire all of you MOMS. I would want any of you at my table. Everyday I turn on my computer and punch in MOMS @4am. Somedays a new mom is there with another story so sad and painful or it's words of one of us needs to get out there. Sometimes there is a try at hope.
My Chris told me his life had become surreal...and now so is mine and yours too don't you think. I feel bad he felt that way, he didn't know what he was dealing with and I only imagine the worst...Chris loved his father...that sucks.
where else but here can I put that thought out there but here?
Who else can I tell that while not one of Chris's friends has called me, I don't live in Hawaii anymore but it would be nice to hear that SOMEONE asked how I was or sends love...
Chris lost his very good friend David in Jan. 11mos. before we lost Chris in Dec.2008. David's death affected Chris deeply.. he felt alot of what we all know so well...the sadness, the pain, the questions. He even felt the guilt, wishing his friend had listened to him when he tried to encourage his surfing and discourage so much partying...David got in a truck drunk with a friend who was drunk. David was crushed, the friend arrested. David died later.
What did Chris say to me...Mom he was almost there I had him talking Tahiti, I almost got him back in the water...
Who else can I tell at David's service Chris had his hand on his friend as he spoke of his love. Everytime Chris got lost and didn't know what to say he'd say "He was a Warrior!" And who can I tell that Chris told me he had gone to see David's Mom to see how she was. He said it was hard, I said she'd probably like to see him again. He said he didn't know if he could do that. Chris told me that weeks before he was murdered...I found out later from David's Mom Chris had come by a week before...
who else would know how it feels to tell a story of my precious kind handsome funny son who befor he was gone easily helped my conversations stay interesting because of his adventures in life.
Who can I tell I feel my daughter and her son Ez have lost that part of me that used to be before all of this.
The pain we see here is more than most know but we do and we continue each day knowing that we are not alone. Sadly it's an odd sort of comfort
I love you all alot
HI MOMS,I LOVE IT SMOOCHES.