I called in sick today, while I am grateful I have a job the thrill is definitly gone. I just got screwed for the 3rd time on a cake-decorating position. The 2nd time it happened i gave my notice on the spot...my boss talked me out of it...and gave me 2 days learning to decorate but only after I opened and worked the counter. But it got slow and back to the counter all the time I went... with my peers the oldest being 23...I'm 30 years older.
This time when a pos opened he gave it to one the girls from the counter,21 yrs. This time he told me he didn't think it was my cup of tea...it's what I hoped to do from day one...so it wasn't his cup of tea because regardless of my feelings he LOVES having me on that counter because of my people skills...great. If only we were paid for our acting abilities we'd work no more. I do find joy in being nice to people but it gets harder now.
But now I know. I've been there way longer than I should have so I'm setting goals and I'll thank him for this as I give notice.
I may have mentioned how my Chris would collect shells on his surf trips for us, how he made sure I took them back with me. Both Aly and I were alittle surprised and she asked him too when they were together on Kauai...if he was sure he wanted to give them up. Chris said yes those shells represented all his love for she and I...similar to what he said to me when he gave them to me..."Mama, I thought of you and Aly with ever shell I found" and he wanted us to make some jewelery...
Well these past couple of months somehow I've opened that creative flow and have been making of all things jewelery and seashell picture frames.
It is like Chris and God had a talk and I've been given a gift. A gift from God it is I'm sure, because it was not there before but I somehow am creating some beautiful things. I truly amaze myself most of all as it just seems to happen. It is so what Chris wanted so I love it even more but how I wish he were here to see...I can see his beautiful smile so proud...so full of love, he had such faith in me always. My jewelry line will be called True Love after Chris's favorite song....
And in the Valley of the Shadows I know you'll be
I am the first, I am the last and I conquer the enemy
What is Love really if it only respects one aspect of life
That like a musician who only respects his own musical type
That's like the preacher who only respects sunday morning and not saturday night
That's how this soldier can come to know that Love is more than a man and a wife
I mean I need a True Love...
Chris made me a cd told me with this song weeks before his death, I listen to it daily.
This missing him is just getting harder but I have my Aly and her boy Ez...so I continue...to try
Well this has been long, sorry for that
I love you Ladies
Hi Lois - I haven't been on the board in a while and decided to drop in today. I kind of feel disconnected to the MOMS and need the companionship they provide. We are all on a hard journey and need each other.
I just wanted to say I think that it is great about your shell jewelry/art. I'm sure Chris is smiling down from Heaven and with you every step of the way.
Lois
I too think it is great that you are creating jewelry and other things with Chris's shells I know he is very proud of you for all of your accomplishments. Sorry about the job though I know for me it would be very hard to deal with the public I never had the knack for that and I sure as heck don't have it now.
Hugs
Jimmy's Mom
Thanks for the nice words. I want you to know the shells Chris brought to us remain special and have not been used much at all. One night how I can't say I made the sweetest earrings using just 6 of the puka-like Tahitian shells and I've only used maybe 10 small ones on my frames which have all been gifts and only on my nephew's and our family on Tahiti.
When I first started to go outside again I'd go to the beach and collect shells, it was a weekend ritual, before the rest of the people were out I'd go.
I did and still do it to feel close to Chris...shells and beach glass as my shell collection grew. So I now have an abundance and so came the frames.
I think my boy is happily guiding me. He knew I could do something like this. I didn't. My jewelry is something that just comes and I end up with something.
Anyway it was nice to see you here, I think of you MOMS daily and wanted you nto know Chris's shells remain precious to us and will never be for sale.
There are 100's most so tiny all smaller than my palm...that Chris took that time for us...What a love what a treasure...I miss him so.
Sending you all kinds of love
