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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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My life sucks

Why can't anything be easy??????????
I really screwed up I believed my Granddaughter's mother when she said family get together would be ok for my oldest son to be when I had Miss Sandra but all she was doing was setting me up. I am now back in a fight for my visitation seems I broke the court order by going to dinner with some of my family and Shelby on the 4th of July. We went to court and all my granddaughters mother did was lie every thing that came out of her mouth was a lie.
Four months ago I took $4,000 out of my savings (I now have $600 left) to pay an attorney to get a modification on my home loan, since I lost my job and am now only making $10 an hour I am having a very hard time making the payments. Well yesterday I got a call from the bank they told me I had been turned down for the modification. Oh but the attorney's office said they will try again, what the hell do they care they got my money.
On top of that I found out that the bank stopped paying the insurance on my house in Oct. of 09 I wasn't informed of that until 8 months later. My insurance was $700 a year now the bank is charging me $2,500 a year, I've been trying to get my insurance back from the old company but now they want $1,800 a year. So now not only will my house payments be lowered they will go up because of the insurance.
Yesterday I got an e mail from my advocate she told me that for some reason victims compensation didn't pay Jimmy's hospital bill and that I would be getting a letter from them. At least this is something I don't have to deal with she told me to send the letter to them and they will take care of it.
I have lost 10 pounds in the last three months thats what happens when my nerves are shot can't eat or sleep.
I want my son, my buddy, my rock back!!!!!
So there it is my life sucks!!!
Sorry I just needed to vent
Hugs
Jim's mom

Re: My life sucks

Well you came to the right place...you know that Shirley. That is why we are here to listen even if we can't always respond I know our "voices" and stories are being heard & read. And I think many if not all moms know to some degree how everything seems to fall apart maybe even at different times for us moms. I guess somehow, at least I did, we thought that since we paid the ultimate price in the life/world that we had paid enough. But I see that isn't how it works...this life just keeps taking and taking from us moms. I see if everyday and sometimes when I read optimistic people who didn't have their child murdered say it is all how you look at it and how you chose to live the rest of your life. What a crock of **** that is. I have seen all the moms give everything they have to just keep their heads out of the water only to be constantly pulled back under time and time again. I just don't understand what we ever did to deserve the loss, the pain and then the financial struggles that have engulfed our lives. I heard many moms talk of how their precious angel that was taken was the glue--Timmy or Nicky who always seemed to keep the family together whether a sensible calmer head was needed just as Jimmy was your rock. I am sorry but I have to agree LIFE JUST SUCKS!!!!!

Re: My life sucks

Dear Shirley
When it rains it pours and why is it that our umbrellas are always blown inside out at this point? With all the programs out there that Obama sts he has for homeowners established so that homes aren't lost there must be something that you can look into that's free.There are also alot of scams,this lawyer sounded like one of them.Keep calling!!! In Phila there are places to go for low income and they try to help you,do you have anything like that where you live?
Paying a hospital for Jimmy's bill would be the last thing I would worry about.I never understood why I didn't get a bill from the hospital,I guess that was to compensate for the victim's compensation I didn't get.I wouldn't have paid it anyway.I mean who can they really go after someone who is dead? I tried going after Nicky to bring him back it didn't work.
Look into Victoria home insurance,they were the cheapest I found,I don't know if they work out of Ca but it's worth a try.
Sandra's mother seems like a total Biotch.Did you def lose your right to take her to the reunion or are you going back again before it takes Place? Did the judge actually side with her? Shame on him if he did.

Hey Laura and A/V
Yes so much has been lost already and yet problems seem to keep coming.There is a little break in between events but then wham there it is again right in our faces.Things are actually the best they've been in a while but I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop and squish me.Nicky was our glue that is because he had such a calming effect on us all.Like the Jamacian who sings Don't worry be happy that was him!
Oh how I wish this horrible chapter of our lives was never written or that it was all fiction.
Wishing you all peace if only momentarily in your lives.I love you all so much hang in there Love and God Bless

Re: My life sucks

Laura I keep asking myself why, I just don't understand I try to do the right thing live a good life. But I just keep getting slammed lately. I know it seems to go this way for all of us nothing not even simple things are easy. I had a woman who lost her child in an accident say to me the grief is all the same. NOT!!
I am just so glad I have all of you to listen I hope you know I am always here for you too.
Love yas
Jim's Mom

Re: My life sucks

Barb
I am not letting these attorney's off the hook I paid them to do a job and they are going to do it I will be on the phone everyday until this mess is taken care of.
It's not so much that the judge sided with Melissa she didn't let me finish my explanation before she started jumping on me. I hope once my attorney and the judge understand that if Melissa had not said family get together were ok I would have put off my birthday dinner and wouldn't have gone to dinner on the 4th of July. The thing is, is Melissa asked me if Shelby was going to my birthday dinner I told her yes she didn't say anything and brought Sandra for her visit knowing he would be there. She set me up and I fell for it! That's what I get for trying to make things work with a sneaking, conniving B!
Love ya
Jim's Mom

Re: My life sucks

Shirley, I understand things going wrong in your life. I seem to be there on a regular basis. My thoughts and love will be with you today as you try to work out some of this mess!! Love ya, Darien

Re: My life sucks

Jim,s mom /shirley hey what do they say when it rains it pours well in our case while it continues to rain a storm comes in and believe it your rock is there you have to grab a little harder but he is there i understand you whole situation. Morgage, job, family awwwwwww!!!!! going to get a tooth pulled today the last time I went to the dentest lil robert had to get a tooth pulled and he was so upset with me that i let them take it out cause he was i so much pain, you know I went back to work that day instead of staying home with him thinkng i have all the time in the world to be with him:( stay strong the storm will be over soon Lil' Robert's mom/ursula

Re: My life sucks

Shirley I wish I knew what to say to make things better. My life is awful. It totally sucks and I say the same thing, I think I'm a good person, I try and do nice things and be nice but I get slammed around constantly. Now it's affecting my health. I have not been feeling well for months now, and weight loss!!! OMG I weigh 108 pounds, before Timmy was killed I was 136 pounds. I look and feel terrible. i don't sleep, I can't eat, everything makes me naseous. My life is falling apart, my car, my house, everything!!!! and I can't take much more and then something new gets thrown my way and I feel hopeless and helpless and I stress all the time. My dr. wants me to go get a heart ultra sound done since now my heart is racing in my chest all the time and I get tinglys down my arms and legs and I'm sure it's stress but he wants to make sure. I'm falling apart and I always said ever since I lost my baby it was like everything feel to pieces, he was the glue that kept it together and now he is gone and everying else is going too!!!! I don't get it, and I sure as heck don't understand why that girl would be that way to you, she is so lucky to have you in her life and a good grandmom!!! I wish my boys had this, I really do, my ex's family doens't give one crap about me or my boys!!!! NOT ONE CRAP!!! She doesn't know how lucky she is and to put you thru this and not that only but what about Sandra????? does she not realize what this can be doing to her???? I don't get it, some people are just so clueless!!!! I don't have any good words or ansers, just know we are here for you, vent, bi***, scream, cry, I know I haven't done that in a long time. I miss going to chat and stuff, I'm afraid to post here, but too tired and sick to go to chat. I miss all my mom's. I wish things were better for all of us. I wish my baby back too!!! oh no hrer comes the tears. sob!!!!!

Keeping you in my prayers, love always, and many many (((((hugs)))))
Bette

Re: My life sucks

So sorry honey. I do understand, right now my life sucks too. I hate feeling like this, I know how much you miss your son Jim. its so hard. you are in my thoughts and prayers. I really hope things start looking up for you soon sweetie.YOu really do deserve a break. sending hugs and love your way.

Re: My life sucks

Shirley,I have had people tell me that they know how i feel. bull**** unless your child was murdered you have no freakin idea how i feel. with murder there is no warning, no chance to say goodbye. You cant say "it was his or her time to go, God called them home" thats flippin ridicoulous how and why would god choose to have my 1 year old daughter brutally beat to death????!!!

Re: My life sucks

Wow, I really have,,,,,,,,,,,, gee,,,, I guess if you leave Mom's for any certain time, you seem to think that maybe the pain will stop or change or WHATEVER! NOPE, it all stays the same. I have tried like heck to make the pain go away but just one thing will happen and it's right back. My brother Johnny Ray said he couldn't cry anymore. I too have stopped crying. The anger is mostly gone now that they are in prison, but the one thing that never leaves and keeps coming back is the knowledge that John was strangled to death with the dog chain, and knowing that he suffered and nobody was there to help him. I can't explain exactly how it feels but it's kinda like being scared to death when your a little girl and nobody is home to help you. Not Mommy or Daddy or big brother, nobody there. Yeah, life without John sucks, we just need to hang in there. My cousin Rosemary is lighting a candle in church for me today. I'll say a prayer for each of you, someday maybe we will all feel some rest from the grief.
xoxo
Patricia