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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)
good morning ladies,
It's been awhile...alot has been going...and...I guess I will start with the niceness...in a talk with my Chris he told me "I got all my niceness from you Mom" then he said "we won't get into what I got from..."
Back to niceness...a friend's mother just passed away from cancer at home with her huge family there by her side. Of course I focused on how blessed they all were to be together her last days in life and didn't hesitate to tell him. Then I thought about how hard it was on my friend watching her go and I told him I was sorry...he understood...as I know you all do too.
Then he gave me some beautiful info...my friend he looks like Santa, talks real gruff...a heart of gold but spiritual not that I/he knew of. Having your Mom complete her journey here right before your eyes does sharpen or awaken your perspective.
So my friend tells me how his 4 year old grand-daughter was sitting in his mom's room the day before and how she sat there with the biggest smiles. Just her and her Nana...and the angels. After Taylor sitting there BEAMING his mom woke up and saw Taylor smiled at her. my friend said it was one of the few times she awoke and she saw loved ones and angels. Taylor did too. Nice Huh?
There is alot of stuff happening in my life...I'm trying to stay kind but sometimes the lesson pushes it...but it's a promise I made my boy so I try.
I'll go to the ocean now and thinking of all of you and the morning you're waking up to and hope the day is kind.
My dad passed about 5&1/2 years ago he had been ill for quite awhile we were all with him when he passed. He had about a week before wanted all of his family to come talk with him he told us he knew he was dieing and wanted us all to know how much he loved us. Naturally when he passed we were all very sad but it helped so much to have that talk with Dad.
Love & Hugs
That is beautiful! I think that the hardest thing about Nicky's death and all of our children passing was that we weren't there to share that experience of saying goodbye.Of letting them know we were with them till the end and telling them how much they were loved.We were there when they came into this world,for their first smile,for their first steps,for their first illness to hold their hands,for their first day of school,for their first crush,for their first car etc,but when they died we were robbed of being with them.I guess we would have told them to fight hard to stay with us.It may not have made a difference but we didn't get to try.As we gathered around Nicky in the hospital,he was already gone.I can only hope that hearing is the last thing to go and that he heard us all say how much we loved him and how much he meant to us.Death is just another step of living,and while we were there for all the other steps,this one which is the biggest,was not to be.That is the heartache.I imagine that as the angels carried him away that they were whispering this isn't the end you will see them and talk with them again.You will be in Heaven soon and wait till you see what is awaiting you.These would be the words I would have wanted to say to comfort my son.
Keep to your promise to Chris and stay the kind person he percieved you to be.That is your gift to him.Don't let anyone rob you of who you are and what Chris cherished about you.Love and God Bless
Shirley,when Nicky died my dad who is 80 said that all he wanted was his family to be with him while he was on his death bed.I am so glad you all had the opportunity to be with your dad,I'm sure it made his journey easier.Love ya
Thank you Barb for your kind words and Shirley I'm glad you had that time with your Dad. It hurts alot thinking of Chris's last moments...so many 1st's like you say.
I have what's left of my family here now from hawaii. My sis & both her boys...we're all here...and I just miss my boy...he was coming...he should be here...I miss you so much Chris.
It doesn't help that my sis has given me no support or comfort this past year & 1/2...we are 2 very different people.
As Chris said to me "It's best to love Aunt Sue from a distance". She needs alot of attention...She told me SHE has post tramatic stress...it's been hard...I pray everyday for patience and to be nicer to her. But then I usually feel she doesn't appreciate the niceness...she never did.
When I last spoke with my therapist my family went from dysfunctional to toxic and no Chris to protect me as I now see he always did gives me a clearer perspective.
Probably not making much sense...I LOVE YOU LADIES and hope you find some peace in your day...as always