MOTHER'S DAY MAY 13,2001 MY SON WAS MURDERED.WHY THEY AD TO TAKE HIS LIFE I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.
THE HEARTAKE IS UNREAL. NINE YEARS AND IT STILL FEELS LIKE YESTERDAY. HE WAS ONLY 21. IN THE AIRFORCE, JUST REINLISTED FOR 6 YEARS. HE HAD EVERYTHING GOING RIGHT IN HIS LIFE.
THEN I HAD TO CALL HIM HOME BECAUSE HIS SISTER WAS IN AN ACCINDENT AND THEY WASN'T SURE SHE WOULD LIVE. SO I CALLED HIM, HE CAME HOME AND DURING A CARJACKING AT A HAMBURGER JOINT DRIVE THROUGH HE WAS SHOT AND KILLED.
HE WAS A DADDY. HE HAD ONE SON LIVING AND ONE SON HE BURIED.
HE HAD BIG DREAMS!!! HE WAS MAKING SOMETHING OF HIS LIFE. AND FOR FIVE DOLLARS HIS LIFE WAS TOOK.
THE CAR WASN'T EVEN HIS.
THE ONLY WAY I MAKE IT IS BECAUSE HE IS IN A BETTER PLACE THAN ME.
THIS WORLD HAS BECAME SO BAD THAT LIVING LIFE NOW IS HARDER THAN WHEN HE WAS HERE...
I MISS HIME SO BAD THAT I HAVE TRIED TO TAKE MY LIFE SO MANY TIMES IN THE PAST. THEN ONE DAY GOD TOLD ME TO STOP AND LOOK AT ALL THE OTHER ONES I HAD TO LIVE FOR.
IT HURTS SO BAD!!!
NO MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TO OUT LIVE HER ON CHILD BUT THESE DAYS IT SEEMS LIKE IT HAPPEN MORE EVERYDAY..
THE BIG WHOLE IN OUR HEART WILL NEVER GO AWAY .. WE JUST HAVE TO LEARN TO LIVE
I don't think there is a one of us that hasn't contemplated taking their lives because of the grief and pain that has entered our lives.But thank God we never acted on it.I know in my case I wouldn't want to put that on anyone in my family because I know how much pain I am going through and what they too went through.Just more sadness and heartache.Try to find a place where you and your son were the happiest and concentrate on that moment.It doesn't always work but it has helped me get through some very difficult times.I do know that my son Nicky is in a better place and that brings much comfort and peace at times.I will hold you in prayer Barbara and your family.Love and God Bless