You think it never stops and it doesn't! Found out that the brother of one of the POS who has been locked up for who knows, I never saw him, don't even know what he looks like, has been paroled as of 3/15/10! I'm sure he'll be staying with mom who lives right around the corner. Just lovely, huh? Am I worried, yup? Why? I don't know. Just am. Just too much, I want to move, I wish I could, I wish I wasn't in so much debt that I could just move on, sell the house and ge the hell out of Dodge. I'm so sick of it all. And come the nice weather and summer it will be more difficult because more things go around. Esecially since Timmy's 3rd year anniversary is coming in July, then the trial in November. This will be to me another year of hell. It just seems like it never ends.
Thought I'd share that tidbit.
Is it the brother of one of the POS that killed Timmy? I couldn't tell by your post.How did you get that information? Maybe you can find out what he was in jail for. If you have any fears call your detective,let them know and maybe they can keep an extra eye on things.I so wish you could move too Bette,such a hard reminder everytime you go out the door.I'm sending you a hug dear Bette,with the nice weather coming,we will get together soon I promise,so I can hug you in person.((((((((((HUGS)))))))))).Love and God Bless
Yes you are correct, it is the older brother, one I never saw or met so I have no idea what he looks like. His g/f was big witness for the prosecution at the prelim. I am worried, actually found out from the det. and went on vinelink and put in my email that's how I found the date. Did call DA not much they can do really unless something happens like he comes around and starts or something call 911, let her and det know. I do wish I could move, the neighborhood is getting worse. I'm so tired all the time not sleeping and worrying about everything, I'm worn out. I can't wait till the weather gets nice but that's when more things happen, can't win. I still would love for us to get together, you name the date, time and place and I'll be there.
Love ya Barb,
Am thinking about ya, it seems like it just never ends. I thought the trial would be the end of things but even that doesn't end it. Try to find out who this guy is so you can watch and make sure he doesn't come around your house.
Sending much love and bunches of hugs
Bette,I know it seems like it never ends and in my opinion it never does. It is almost 4 years since Keara has been gone and even though the POS was sentenced awhile ago I still am in so much pain. The only justice would be if I could have her back. I am sorry that you are having to deal with all of this now. Just know we are here for you. Love ya, Darien
Hi Bette, Can't agree more except to say this, it will never stop,this pain we all know so well and much of the rest world thinks that somehow it does. They don't know that it never can unless of course "that night" we all wish never was...wasn't and our hearts had never had to know this kind of never-ending pain that hides a bit but that can strike at any time. I'm so sorry for us all. I miss my Chris sooooo much. But I know HOW much he would have never wanted this for me his mama so I go on and take as much joy as I can in my beautiful daughter and grandson Ezra, our little light. He is so happy and that's so important as he was born 5 months before his grandfather killed his uncle...and I have to make sure he knows how loved he was by Chris...Ez gave him hope...I know, I have his voicemail telling me so after he held his nephew for the first time... 4 days before his father became his killer....sorry Ladies I ramble.
Muh Love To you All
That's ok you can ramble away Lois. Thanks ladies for your replies. I don't even know how I'd find out what he looks like. I just hope nothing comes out of it and hopefully he will just want to stay out of trouble and not want to go back where he came from. That is all I can hope for right now. I just wish I could move. I really do. I hate it so much, I do have some wonderful neighbors who are also friends and wouldn't want to leave them, but I can always visit right? I just wish I had the money & resources to do so. I know my oldest wants to move, but my middle guy he seems to just go with the flow. See he has good friends, my oldest seems to pick the wrong ones. So my middle guy had more support that my oldest son, and he's been thru so much anyway, and I don't know if he thinks getting away from there he can start fresh, but no matter where you go, the pain will always be there. It never goes away and yes Darien I can relate on some days I think the pain gets worse. Like last night how I just cried my eyes out just from looking at his picture that I look at every day. i guess it just hit me this time.
I was on break before but I wanted to say how sorry I am you have this added heartache of living so close to where your son's murder happened...my Chris never made it here as an adult so my memories are much more scattered...here I remember all our daily phone conversations...our time together oin Hawaii one month before his death. Small kine blessing we'd say in Hawaii...because for my family still there and his friends...a small island like Hawaii can seem like one big neighborhood. Everywhere is a reminder of Chris...I've never forgotten how hard it was for all of them in that way, I feel your pain through your words. I visited your website...what a beautiful family... your Tim a treasure I can tell.
All your children, our stories so different but the same result...our hearts store the tears we will continue to cry the rest of our days...until we are together again.
While I don't have the visual reminder of daily life with Chris in Hawaii now...I didn't slide much.
This will sound bad but what the heck ladies...sometimes you don't know how much I find myself wishing it had been a stranger not his father...how sick, wishing for a better case senario in my son's murder...the guilt that comes with this every day is incredible...why couldn't I have asked more questions, listened better...my relationship with his father...my therapist thinks it was the ultimate outcome in Dom/Violence...was this the ultimate revenge...maybe I'll know more when he finishes his 2 yrs next Feb. He'll get out 2 weeks before Chris's birthday, he would be 30... what a freakin life.
I visit a few of your sites and cry at your beautiful children and the pain I know you've endured...Every one is so sad...I love you ladies out there.
I know sometimes I may seem a little to positive, it's my nature, It was Chris's too. He used to say I was TOO nice but on our visit he told me he got all his niceness from me...he also told me he had been happy in life even with how hard things always seemed to go for him. Of course I could continue on this for some time but I won't.
Anyway I'm not that positive any more but you probably know that already.
I don't really wish for that...I just wish the wish we all wish...that our angels still were here like they should be...helping us create our happiness like they used to so effortlessly.
Louis, we all ramble so welcome to the club. :)
Bette I am so sorry you have to face that too. I hope that he won't start anything but if he does call and have his paroled butt thrown back in prison. It is hard just being a few miles from where Kaylin was murdered and every time I go to the Pet Store for dog food I cry. The Golden Spoon is next to it and it is the place that the witnesses tried to help her. I have sat in that parking spot she was in and cried wondering what she might have been thinking and wondering if she could hear him refusing to help her and if she knew she was dying. Every time I think that I am never going there again and a month later there I am crying in the parking lot again. I hate that place but I am drawn to it too. I cannot imagine having to see the place she died outside my doorstep every day. In my fantasy world we would all go live on an island together and the streets would be named after our children and we would only have the happy memories. I think I should be out of tears but they are always there. I still wish his mother could know this pain. She is the only person I would ever wish it on. I never thought I would wish it on my worst enemy, but I would wish it on this family just for the absolute lack of remorse from them and for them trying to destroy my daughter to defend the son they raised to be a cowardly killer.
I understand that one Kim. The POS families don't seem to remember that we are the victims. If they had been different otherwise I would feel sorry for them. To know that their brother/son is a murderer!!! Well I don't and wish nothing on them, God will take care of them.
Lois my son was only 15 when he was killed. I've missed so much of his life, those important years of adult hood, falling in love, graduating, jeez learning how to drive!!! I miss him with all my heart and soul and being where I am is eating me alive. My boys are falling apart. I am too actually, I haven't slept in 3 days, and at work, my back is hurting so bad. My oldest son is falling apart and I don't know how to fix any of this???? I cry all the time I know my boys are hurting, but they don't realize how much their actions hurt me on top of the pain that I already live in. I died the day Timmy died. I feel like there is nothing, I try so hard to keep it together for my boys but they don't want help, and do what they do, and I am the one who is suffering. They not only killed my son, they killed my whole family. they took everything away from us, anything normal is not anymore, life is a battle each day, we are torn apart and I'm falling apart from it and I don't know what to do.
I wish someone could tell me what to do, I sit here crying because I'm tired, I'm tired from no sleep, I'm tired of seeing my sons lives falling apart and they try nothing to help it. I watch as the pieces scatter around my feet and I can't do a **** thing! I try so hard to keep it together but I can't anymore, I'm only one person and the burden has become to much to bear. See now I'm rambling on and on. I wish I oculd write what I can speak it's just not coming out right. Life is too hard, life has become to much to bear, yet we keep on going. I don't know how any of us do it, but we do.
wow sorry you have to deal with that praying for u
Bette, I am so sorry for what is happening...I wish you could move too...it's so hard to hear of your boys pain. I understand as my sister's youngest came here from hawaii and is with us. I see how hard it gets for him..I see a very different young man than before we lost Chris...it's the anger mixed in with all that pain that frightens me for him. He knows and just tries to stay active meaning...go surf...shower eat...bike to library, home up the gnarliest hill and then off to the "Y" workout then yoga...he's in great shape but still finds himself pacing with nervous energy. It must be so hard on your boys, not only the loss of their 'baby bro' the guilt they unfairly must feel...for not being able to help Timmie and now for not being able to help their Mom stop hurting.
I'm praying God will show you some incredible kindness and let you all feel a little peace ...just for one quiet moment...feel how it was before our worst night or day of our life, before that part of us died forever when we heard the words that would change us forever.
I'm sorry Bette, I wish it were easier but how could that be....love to you