I'm really having a difficult time. For a short while I can appear to be doing ok and then I hit rock bottom. When that happens it is as if I am back at the beginning of this whole horrible nightmare. Is this normal for this type of situation?? Sometimes I hurt so badly and am so incredibly angry that I feel like I am lossing myself. My friends can't understand because they having suffered a loss. I had tried to talk to a counselor about this and she didn't really listen to me. Just started telling me how desperately I needed to go into a psych hospital. I need to hear from others who are walking in my shoes.
Dear Carole
Unfortunetly what you are feeling is so typical of the roller coaster ride we are all on.Your friends won't understand and unless your therapist lost a child to murder,they won't either.That's the thing of it,no one understands unless they have been through it.I don't know if I would have fully understood it before Nicky died,can't say that anymore! Surround yourself with those who will listen to you and not constantly judge your feelings or tell you how to act and what you should be doing.Everyone grieves differently and in their own time.I know for me the turning point was trying to concentrate on only the good things in Nicky's life and happy memories.Knowing I will be with him again one day is the hope that I carry to get me through to the next day.I also know my angel is in great company with all the angels I have met on this message board.Wishing you some peace and comfort in your life.There is always alot of sharing on this board from loving, caring people who do truly understand.Don't be a stranger to it.I have gotten more help on here than any other avenue I have sought out.Love and God Bless
Hi Carole...Sorry to meet you like this. Barb pretty much said it except sometimes I think rollercoaster is too gentle of a term to describe how we can be slammed when we least expect it.
I was just here 'all happy' I had some 'signs' from my boy Chris. Today I come home from work, take one look at my 20 year old nephew's face to see the devastation there that I wasn't feeling for that small moment...the brutal reality is back full force. So I wait again to almost forget how much pain my life now holds and I'm grateful for the moments I almost forget my Chris is in that box on my shelf by his shells and his pictures...I am very sorry for your pain. Treasure the good days and the good we still have around us.
Love to you
Carole
This is one rough and rocky road seems like it will smooth out for a bit then it gets rough again. My Jim was murdered 2 years ago I just had to spend hours at the hospital and standing outside of the emergency room brought it all back full force. Now I am trying to get myself back up. You sure are not alone in how you are feeling there are lots of us moms out here. There were times I thought I was crazy but my sister moms assure me I am not because they have all gone through the same emotions. Barb and Lois are so right when they say no one knows unless they have walked in our shoes.
Love and Hugs
Jimmy's Mom
Carole, I agree with the other Moms. This is definitely a roller coaster and u never know when the pain and the nightmares will come floodin back in. My counselor tells me this is normal under the circumstances. What we are going through is so horrific. I hope we can help u by knowing that there are those of us here that do understand and want to help. Love ya. Darien
