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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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Needed a sign

I was feeling it one day and said "I need a Sign, a big one." Next thing I know I'm thinking of all kinds of things to create. I live close to the beach...I started collecting shells...something my Chris always did for me in his surf travels. Shortly before his death he gave me the shells he had collected from Hawaii, Tahiti and Australia...Chris told me he thought of his sister and I with each shell he found. He later told Aly, his sis, just days before his murder, when she asked him if he was sure he didn't want his shells. He said no they represented how much he loved us....I miss his love so much.

I was thinking I needed a desk or a table in my studio, so I had a spot to start creating.
THE NEXT DAY at the Thrift Shop... the perfect desk waiting for me...I had just been there the day before, not there. I got it home and knew it was a gift. Well I was hoping....

I asked once about "Coins". I get tips so change shows up in weird places normally but I would still check sometimes. I would find every year in the 80's but never 1981, for months and then yesturday while playing with my grandson Ezra,who happens to be 20 months of blissfulness...I LOVE HIM ALOT. We had money to move around, an important mission for him and Gramalolo these days... I picked up an older looking penny...1981...another penny ...1981...so I pick up a dime...Hello Chris...1981...I'm really grateful that happened...I believe our angels stay with us and feel the comfort in that. It was perfect it happened with Ez...Chris loved his nephew so much, he would have been an awesome uncle...an amazing father...that hurts

So while I wasn't quite sure about the desk even though it is perfect...I'm here at it now...The coins were a little harder to rationalize...they are now in the big glass bowl with all of our beautiful shells, our visual reminder Chris's Love for us.
And as I touch and admire their beauty and think of how much love I have for my son I know he felt the same when he found them to bring home to us...he told me himself. That is special and I thank God for this comfort I feel tonight.
I think of you MOMS and send you LOVE.

Re: Needed a sign

Lois
Your post gave me chills I believe these were all signs from your Chris I am so happy for you.
Love and Hugs
Jimmy's mom

Re: Needed a sign

My baby sends me dimes all the time. In the strangest places too, or on the car seat when it wasn't there the first time I got in. Behind the cat litter box that I know for sure NO ONE goes near that but me and I never carry change on me.

Some times we just need to know they are still here with us.

Hope you keep finding those "signs" and know your angel is always watching over you.

Re: Needed a sign

Dear Lois
I can only imagine how happy and at peace you felt creating your space where you can display the shells that Chris so lovingly collected for you.Such love in each one! Keep looking towards the things that Chris did that made him happy so you in turn can try to find comfort.Love and God Bless

Re: Needed a sign

They do send us signs. Kaylin sends me quarters and her Eeyore sock. I also have a vase that I keep all 1988 coins in. She even sent us a kitten last year. I hope we don't get any more animals sent. :( Kaylin are you listening? No more animals. ;)
Cherish every sign and accept it for the gift it is. What an uplifting story. Keep sending them Chris.

Re: Needed a sign

oh yes we get the signs mine even comes with noise at nite in my bedroom i know it's hubert he always play games on me at nite when he was alive.

Re: Needed a sign

I got one today. I got home from work today and I was tired. I had stopped to get the boy some food because I didn't feel up to cooking and I wasn't hungry. So I am getting his food ready on the plate and he comes down and gets it and goes back upstairs. When I was in the car, I said out loud, "I love you and I miss you Kaylin." So anyway, I see this necklace laying in the floor by the microwave. I picked it up and called Jared to come get his necklace. He said it wasn't his and that he had never seen it before. So I looked at it and it is a silver heart on a black cord and on the heart it says, "I Love You Mom" and has a tiny amethyst. I called Doug and asked him if he had seen this necklace and he said No he hadn't. I KNOW it was not there before, because I have to keep my floors picked up or the dogs might fight over something. I also know it was not there because I would have stepped on it walking into the kitchen and I know that with the herd one of them would have been chewing on it. It wasn't there and then when I was going to go out of the kitchen, there it was. I cannot explain it but it was a much needed message so I am going to take it. If you can explain it I don't want to hear it. ;) I'll leave it to my mischievous angel still doing what she loved to do in life, playing pranks on her family.

Re: Needed a sign

Thanks MOMS...it's good to know you get them too

Kim, I can imagine you already knew your necklace was a gift from Kaylin before your family comfirmed it...imagine how our angels must laugh at our confusion.
When Chris died I remember telling anyone that would listen, that if Chris could, he would let us know he still with us...somehow.
When I woke up this morning...thinking...wondering if the people I work with, ever even thought about it much anymore...you know how life goes on. I wasn't there 10 minutes when a co-worker who had recently brought her son in to meet us...He is Chris's age. I had told her how nice it was to meet him, how beautful he is and how she glowed next to him. She said she wanted to thank me for the nice things I had said about her son and she wanted me to know that she thought of me everyday and what I must be going through...she told me through her tears...I think that was another sign from my boy today and I'm very grateful...this co-worker was probably the least likely person I would have thought to show that kind of caring...still learning.
So I think we all have some in our lives that are so in awe of us...that we continue... while they still have the gift of never having to ever come close to the kind of life filled with such pain and horrific stories of loss...because none of us was ever meant to know this horror...they don't know how we live with it and neither do we.
I am so thankful for the signs our angels are able to get to us.
Love and more love to you guys