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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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all these dates

Life now is just another date it seems or some kind of new way of keeping track of things. Dec 11 2008, Chris is murdered, dec 12 he is found by the oceans edge, dec 13th I'm told by my daughter Chris is gone, dec 14 we find his father by way of his single car crash after I'm sure he read Chris had been found...the holidays are for others now, Feb 9th 2008 his killer is arrested my children's father. He's been in and out of a coma for 5 weeks but we now know. We have just past the first anniversary of Chris's death Dec 11th, now we have just past the 1 year mark for his killer's arrest Feb 9th and now it's a matter of counting down from 365...362 days until he gets out...2 years. In less than 2 weeks Feb 23 is Chris's Birthday, He would have turned 29...he would have can you believe those words we now have for ever... They would have...I miss him so much I imagine his last moments...his dispair knowing what was happening...and that his killer/father of all people, who took him from us and now has that as well. Chris's last moments of life...he knows. Imagine that, killing your son who loved you and only wanted good for you even though you were a poor excuse for a father Chris loved him...he must have been so surprised but not.
I check MOMS every day before work, I see everyone's pain and think of it all day. It's quite a different kind of armour we wear I'm seeing. Because we know how bad things can be and how life doesn't stop because of our loss and brutal realites and we know it CAN happen... I read your stories I'm so sorry MOMS...I can only send love to you all.
I'm grateful for this site...because while I hate to know your out there it's a tiny comfort knowing I'm not alone. Thanks for letting me...you know.

Re: all these dates

I understand how dates can really play on us. I am so sorry that the person who took your sons life is someone he loved and trusted. My b/d is 12/9, my one son is a Christmas baby 12/25 my Timmy who would have been 18 this year is 12/31 he is a new year's eve baby. Last year we had our prelim on 12/10 or was it 12/8 I know it was a day before or after my b/d I thought great b/d present! Then to deal with the holidays and my two sons b/d my one son just turning 21 and Timmy would have been 17 then. Now comes the best part, our trial is schedule for.... 11/29! I was told it would most likely be the first 3 weeks of December. As the first week would be for jury picking. How messed up can December be anymore? So I truly understand what you mean, and my son was killed on a Friday the 13th. July 13, 2007. Each time one passes it brings dread to my heart. I mean yes it's a stupid superstitious holiday, but now it's marked for me for eternity. And I had such a hard time getting his headstone put in, they had it ready but the cemetary said they couldn't lay the foundation. Well one month before his one year angelversary, June 13th (yes it was a Friday the 13th) my son's headstone was put in. I didn't believe it at first I said no this can't be not on this date, my friends said yes we go up and check it out make sure because they never called me to say yes they did I was hoping no not this day but I fought so hard to get it put in. So we drove there and there is was, Friday the 13th, one month before his angelversay my son's headstone was put down. Oh the things that we deal with, no matter what, a date, a birthday, the holidays, even when school starts and I see all the kids getting ready, new clothes, new supplies, I burst out crying in the stores. He was only 15 years old!!!!

I'm so sorry for your loss, please know you are not alone and we are all here for you. I just wanted you to know that I too go thru these date things and they just freak me out all the time.

((((((((hugs)))))))
Bette
Timmy's mom