For 18 years & 364 days I was blessed,
Now by some I am told it is a test.
To see if my faith is strong,
Or will I tell others to believe, I was wrong.
Was that all my daughters life was in the scheme,
Her loss leaving our lives with no meaning or theme.
A simple test as if it were a chess game,
between good & evil in His name.
Brutally taken by such an evil spawn,
Was my daughter's life just a pawn?
One who is manipulated, powerless & weak,
A mere peon so to speak.
Is that all her life meant to Him,
That she could be taken on such a whim?
For there was no miracle on that horrific night,
Her body bloody & lifeless after a courageous fight.
Her killer watched as she lay dying on the floor
Wasn't my beautiful daughter's life worthy of more?
Lisa's spirit visited me before she went on her way,
She wanted to let me know that she would be okay.
Lisa told me, Mom I was not alone you see,
The angels were right there beside me.
Now I must believe that Lisa's spirit is free,
Because of her kind heart, she held that key.
How can I ever see the beauty of this life,
When the pain constantly cuts my heart like a knife?
Ironic that is, some might say,
As Lisa died the very same way.
As I walk through life behind my mask.
There are so many questions, I must ask.
In Loving Memory of
Lisa Christine Maas
Laura, Your poem echos so much of what I feel and have been thinking. Keara did believe in God and I imagine that while she was being killed she asked God to help her. There were neighbors who heard her screams and didn't even call the police. No miracles here. Life feels totally different since Keara was so brutally taken. I have tried to only think of the good times but when I do I cry. I also am constantly reminded of the terrible losss as I watch my Grandchildren having to go through thier lives without their Mom. When my grandaugter is crying on Christmas eve because she wants her Mommy it is about impossible to think of the good times and be happy.
What a meaningful poem you have written.As I have said in the past I must believe that angels were there to escort my son,for if not what sanity would I have left? To think that there is nothing beyond this world is unimagineable.Lisa did have a good heart,and I think that is something worth remembering when you think of her.Love you tons and may God Bless you always.
I know when Nicky died my children said mom wouldn't it be great if someone came to our door and told us she was pregnant with Nicky's child.My reply was no,because they would have to grow up without a father and that would be so hard on them.I feel so bad that your grandchildren are going through this painful journey.As mothers we know how imortnat our roles are in our children's lives.Not only do you have the painful thought of your precious Keara dying too soon,you have to watch as your grandchildren struggle with their feelings of loss.I am sending you big HUGS to let you konw you are not alone.Someone is thinking of you!ME!
Barb, Thank you for thinking of me and understanding how painful it is for me as a Mom and a grandmother to see the struggle that my children and grandchildren have in trying to deal with the murder of their mother and sister. It is so incredibly sad and when they hurt so do I.
Love your poem,
It isn't that I don't believe in God I just don't know what to believe anymore. I do believe that if there is a God he had nothing what so ever to do with my Jimmy's death there are two people I lay that blame on and that is Marlin and his drunken mother. If God does exist I don't believe he would put any of us through this pain as a test of faith. But on the other hand if it is true and this is a test of my faith guess I failed got a big fat F. My Jim was no angel but he did have a heart of gold, I just heard from a friend who's son is mentally disabled it seems there was someone harassing him when Jim heard about this the harassment stopped end of story. I know of three lives he saved, and how he protected a woman and her child from being knocked down by two guys who were fighting. Jim never bragged about any of this he always felt it was just what he had to do. These are some of the reasons in my heart I know my son's life was worth so much more than a .38 slug in his chest. Jim has been here with me a few times he came to me and gave me a great big hug one night in a dream, he also came to me during the trial and let me know it would be ok. Oh yea and when I got his car back from getting it painted the first time I knew it was him I felt a HUGE wave come over me when getting into the car one night and I knew Jim was thrilled with how nice I was making sure his car was being taken care of. The Biggie was when my oldest son told me that Jim came to him in a dream and gave him a BIG hug. I do believe with all my heart that I will be with My Jim again, I just tell him WFM wait for me.
Love and Hugs
Big Jim's Mom
Your poem is great. I always wonder, why three people tried to help her and she still had to die. Why couldn't those people have been successful in getting her away from him? I think I struggle with that so much. Help was offered and within her grasp and he removed her from it. I question God on why intervention was offered and then removed. I just don't know what to believe any more. Your poem speaks to the heart.
Wonderful poem Laura, I know i had done some myself and now can't even seem to think of words that I would want to write as they don't come to me anymore.
Maybe we all need to write a poem for our child. Maybe it would help, I don't know anymore, I think I am helpless.
Keara,as you lay there on the floor being strangled I know that you fought for your life. I believe you called out to God and mama. The medical examiner said that you would have known you were being stabbed. You may have begged that yout life be spared. But it wasn't.
These images play out in my mind and it makes me sick. How could that monster have done that to my beautiful girl. Why is it that nobody tried to help you? There is so much I don't understand.
I miss you so much Keara and so do your brother sisters and your children. My heart aches and I don't know if it will ever mend. There is not a minute that goes by that I am not thinking of you. I love you. Mama