Probably the most important reason is that if I didn't put so much faith that I will be with my Chris in the forever, I couldn't take another step. I put alot of effort into 'feeling' my boy. I feel that if Chris can, he will be around me as much as I need. He's holding me up, with God's help and understanding. You see, this was never to have happened...it wasn't God's choice and I too believe God feels our pain and knows our confusion is part of this nightmare. I remember someone saying that in conversation...how we are supposed to love God more...before Chris died and I thought to myself but I love them so much how do I do that. Now it seems I love God most after all, He has my Chris safe with him while we are all here still with the evil we see all around us...evil that just because we been hit this hard already doesn't mean we're now safe...so I'm going to try and keep looking for the good...in between my tears. Do I think we'll see each other, like Chris said to me amonth before he was killed "I HOPE SO,Mama" and Chris would want me to hope so too. Why this happened to us, we're good people. Chris was loved by many and his father took him from us...he took him from me. Do I want to put that on God? I don't think so. Am I making any sense...
Laura, I guess that answers my last question about making any sense. And yes I was speaking of God and the loss of our angels. I guess to put it simply it's a spiritual connection. no..it's not as I like but it's definitly what I live with now, however that moment may be...when that becomes too much
