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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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Need counseling

Hi MOMS. I finally broke down and called my doctor for counseling today. I can't sleep, getting depressed, and I just need someone who is a professional to help me get through my sons death and murder. I have 2 more kids at home and I have to be there for them and for my husband. I tried to cope through this but it ain't happening. Anyone else seek help from the professionals?
Donna

Re: Need counseling

HI Donna, I have been going to counseling ever since Keara was murdered and it helps a lot. Or at least it has been a lot of help to me. It is a time set aside just for you to deal with the trauma, pain and grief.Also it might help you to come into the chat room where u can talk to other Moms who know and feel what u are feeling. I am sending you hugs and kisses.

Re: Need counseling

Yes I did. I went for about a year and half. I would meet her during my lunch when my company was down town. Then my company moved so I would have to take the day off to go there. I know there are other places I could go, but I liked her and it was free too. My co-pays are high so it wouldn't be something I could do thru my health insurance every week. I want to start back up seeing her again as this end of the year is going to be our trial and I think I'm going to need all the help I can get. I'm barely getting thru the holidays. Life is never the same, my son was 15 and I still can't believe it's been 2 1/2 years alreay I can't believe it, I'll never understand this, never, my heart feels like it will never ever heal. the pain every day just sinks deeper into my soul and take refuge there never to leave. I'm sorry I'm not much help but knowing you are not alone and that the things you are going thru are "normal" if you want to call it that, I don't sleep, I take meds to help me sleep.

I think if you think that therapy will help you to go for it. If you need meds to help you sleep go for it. Because this is an awful thing we moms go thru and something that no one ever should go thru. To survive each day is a big step in itself.

Bette
Timmy's mom

Re: Need counseling

Donna
I have not had counseling I did take meds for the first year and a half which helped but I felt like I wasn't facing my son's murder and felt like I wasn't being fair to him so I quit taking them. I could use counseling but right now I have no insurance. I won't go to any groups here because it is a small town and I don't want people talking. I have a very supportive family and all my Moms that help me through.
Hugs
Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: Need counseling

Hi Donna,

I have not had any counseling either. I have thought about it though. I have lots of friends and family who let me talk about my feelings and I've found my blog is great outlet too. I say whatever works to make you feel any better, do it. I still have a hard time sleeping at night, but I do not take any medication. I feel the medication is only numbing what will never go away and that is the pain of losing Samuel. I have 3 other boys I need to be present for and being doped up on drugs was not an option for me. There are days I wish I could take something to numb the pain, but once the pills wear off, it's still there, so why bother. But this is my own personal choice and may not be the right one for anyone else.

I pray that couseling will help you in any way possible.

Hugs
isaida

Re: Need counseling

I got counseling after a year. I was having some very very very bad days and was sinking into depression. I go to a lady whose philosophy is "The best way is thru" So she isn't a pill pusher. I know that sometimes they are needed to help, but seemed like I was going to Dr's who heard that my daughter died and just started writing a scrip. So I liked that she was willing to see IF I needed an anti depressant before just giving them to me. Talking to her helped me stay off of them, so far. I have learned that you cannot do this alone. No matter how strong we think we are, this is a pain so deep we cannot endure it alone. Now she is on an as needed basis.