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My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

My son is Chad Friend he was 20 years old March 12.
He was getting ready to start his second year of college to become a youth minister.He had a wonderful life living for God. The neighbor boy didn't like the way my other son had a colored girlfriend. The boy had come to our property a couple times making remarks about it. So on Aug 6th my husband decided to go tell the boy enough was enough. The boy ranted alittle, my husband come back to our home and said "Chad let's go talk to Dave and see if we can figure out his problem" The boy watched them walk back across our(120 ft)yard,across the street and around his house, when they got to the door the boy was standing there with a shot gun.My husband knocked it out of his hand to the ground and before they could move the boy picked it up and shot my son.The boy was not charged.The grand jury said self defence. How in the world is that self defence. My son never had a chance.The bottom has dropped out of my whole world.How am i suppose to deal with the boy living across the street from us?Seeing him almost daily.If anyone can help me, please HELP

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

OMG that is so awful I'm so sorry for your loss. There is another mom here who is sort of going thru the same thing of self defense because he was on that person's property. This makes no sense whatsoever to me how can this be??? I just don't know what to say, but you found a good place and sorry you did find us. My son was shot 15 y/o he was walking home fromt he store with a friend of his older brother. This friend too died 2 days later so it is a double homocide. I have to wait a little over a year for our trial. It is devestating I feel like I have no life left in me. this has ripped my heart to pieces. Please know you are not alone and so many shoulders for you to lean on.

God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

Carol,
I am so sorry for your loss. I just don't understand the so called justice system in this country today. How can someone shoot an unarmed person and have it be called self defense? My only suggestion is for you to find an attorney and file a wrongful death suit.
I can't imagine the pain of having your child's murder be filed away as self defense.
You have come to the right place we moms will be here for you anytime.
Love and Hugs
Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

i am so glad i found this site, thank you

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

i can't believe all the children that have been killed it just brakes my heart even more.
thank you for the support all

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

Carol,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Just out of curiosity, what state did this happen in? The reason I ask is because I am the (other mom). My son Jeremy was murdered, shot in the head on April 25, 2009. His murdered also got off on self defense. Therefore, I can completely relate to your situation. I am trying to get in contact with POMC-Parents of Murdered Children to see if there is anything they can do to help me. I have lost my world. I am angry because I ws lied to all along. I was assured that there was NO WAY this kid was going to get off. The district attorney and Chief of Police swore to me we would get justice. Instead, I got nothing. I am not going to rest until I feel like I've done everything I possibly can to get justice for my son.
I am now raising his two children. Caleb is seven and Aleigha is five. Everything has just been so hard.
My son was murdered in my hometown of Perryton, Texas. That is why I asked you what state it happened in. Just know that I am here for you if you ever need to talk. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Just know that we are all here for you and we do understand what you are going through.

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

We are in Parkersburg WV
I am sorry for your loss as well, I hate what is happening to our children, now I worry so much more about the 4 I have left.This is driving me crazy. We had to hear that the boy didn't get charged from the news. The police said they would call us as the steps took place and we have not gotten 1 call from them ever,we can't even get his keys and wallet back. I know that sounds petty, but when thats about all you have left of them, it's alot.

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

I've been dealing with something similar, my son was murdered by the stepson of a cousin. I disasociated myself with that faction of the family. Actually I seldom have any contact with even the reasonable family members.

My suggestion to you is MOVE, if you can. Do not under any circumstances get caught up with a Hatfied's and McCoys situation.

You want a heavenly reunion with your son, right? Do the right thing.

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

yea we own other property and was realy thinking hard about moving, not sure if we want to let the bas,,, run us out of our home.He just rents his

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

Carol
It isn't petty at all to want the things that belonged to your son, my son's cell phone was taken it had nothing to do with his murder and was not in evidence during the trial but I have been told I can not have it until the POS has exhausted all of his appeals. I doubt I will ever get the phone.
Love and Hugs
Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

Carol, I send you my love and want you to know that although I do not visit this site often, it has helped me a lot in my grieving process. My son's murderer was also set free. The government officials who tried to cover up the murder have not been charged or reprimanded. There is no justice it seems. This grief is the most difficult we will endure, but know that the mothers at this site truly understand and will be a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen~c

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

Hi!
I can tell you now that there's no way on this world that I could do it.
My son was murdered Mother's Day 2001. He was in the car with his Cousin( the owner of the car)! Two Guy walk up to the car and was trying to carjack them.
They told us that these guy's could not be charged with Captial Murder because my Son falt back. Didn't get out of the car when they told him to!!!!
I know you are going through HELL!!!! The only way I make it now is because I tell myself that He is in a better place than we are!!
I'm fighting really hard because Mother's Day is coming up fast....
Nine years but it seems like yesterday...
I can't tell u that it will get better! I can tell you what very wise friend told me.GOD PUTS NO MORE ON OUR SHOLDERS THAN WE CAN HANDLE , SO WE HAVE TO BELEIVE THAT HE WILL SAND BY US ALL THE WAY..
God bless you!! this the hardest thing you will ever have to do..

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

Carol, I too hate that you have found yourself here, My son Chris was gone less than a year when we were forced to accept that his killer, his father would out in just 15 months. They knew all along my son was not the parental abuser they allowed him to be protrayed by his killer...8 shots and an attempted disposal to the sea later they allowed him to say Chris was beating him but he was reclining when shot I have just learned...and they knew.
I am very sorry you have this loss in your life.
As you now know life is different for us
Much love to you

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

My heart goes out to you. My son Zachary was recently stabbed to death. As a Christian, I am dealing with forgiveness. Please know the victory is yours. Your son would want you to forgive the person who took his life. Look up to your son's redeemer and ask for the help you need. Don't let this tragedy claim two lives.

God Bless,
Zachary's Mom
(I love you Zach)

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

I am still so angry. I can't seem to find help anywhere. I've talked to many attorneys who say I can do nothing since the grand jury no billed the case. The DA will not release the police report to me to have someone else look at because even though he was NOT charged with murdering my son, he was charged with two counts of aggravated assault with a deadly weapon for threatening to kill two men who tried to render aid to my son. Trust me when I say, I do know what you are going through.
My son had two necklaces on when he was killed. I realize that some things had to be kept for the investigation, but those necklaces should not have been. I asked repeatedly if I could at least get those and was told by the Police chief that they were evidence. After the grand jury no billed the case and I went to pick up my son's things the necklaces were not there. When I asked about them, the police chief fumbled over his words and said the medical examiner probably had them. He said that he would check and get back to me. Since he had done such a shoddy job so far, I called the ME myself and was told that his clothes and jewelry had been sent with his body to the funeral home. I called the funeral home and found out that they did have the stuff, however they were not told there was jewelry in the sack. They said they kept it until it started stinking and then threw it in the trash. I was furious. I know the jewelry was inexpensive but it was the last thing he had on and I wanted it all. I was angry that the police chief lied all along about it being evidence. If it was evidence he should have had possession of it all from the beginning. That was the last thing he had on, and I wanted those to be able to give to his two kids when they are older and I'm upset because I was not given the opportunity to do that. Don't ever think that any of this crap is petty, it isn't. Things are taken from us without us having any choice in the matter. I just wish I knew what to do to fix it.

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

I don't understand that at all. Your son was not doing anything aggressive. Does this mean that if someone comes onto our property and knocks on our door we can shoot them and claim self defense? Our justice system is incorrectly named. It is the Injusitce system. Of course it is really the Criminal Justice system and it does seem to be geared to get them off. I am so sorry about your son. I have lost faith in the entire justice system. We were told that we could have Kaylin's things back after he took the plea. I got a copy of her journal and a letter telling me I couldn't have her things back. Apparently dirty clothes in a back pack are a bio hazard. Watch out if you go to a laundry mat. They lie to us and tell us what we want to hear and then when we expect them to honor their word they start back pedaling. I think they don't want us to see how badly they fumbled the case. I don't trust people any more. The murderer steals so much from us don't they?

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

My heart breaks for you. My son, Ryan, was murdered by the police Aug 6, 2010. The Texas Rangers are investigating and the grand jury convenes Nov 16th. It would take a miracle for the police to admit they could have handled the situation differently. We wait and live in limbo. I pray and cry everyday for my beautiful son knowing he will never hug me again or say "I love you Mom". I will try to hold on and I hope all the other mothers will do the same.
You are in my prayers too.
Pattie

Re: My son was murdered Aug 6 2009 and the guy was not charged

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but I would not put much faith into the fact that the Texas Rangers are involved in your case. They were involved in my son's murder as well. It did not do any good. The murdered was not indicted. In fact,the two charges of assault with a deadly weapon that he is facing for threatening two people who tried to render aid to my son, he still has not went to trial for those charges.