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I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

Hi Everyone,

I feel so alone. On January 11Th of 2009, my baby boy Joe was murdered. He was 20 years old. He was at a get together with his high school friends, before they all returned to spring semester at college. The man who killed him, did not know my son, and as far as we can tell, had no motive.

I have done pretty well, and tried to stay strong, but tomorrow, Sept 30Th I have to meet with the DA to discuss the case.

I am scared. I want to know what happened, but yet I'm not sure about knowing the details. I know that if I don't hear the details, I will wonder, and that's not good.

On top of everything else, my husband is in Iraq.

Please give me some encouraging words.

Thank you

Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

Luanne...you have come to the right place the moms here always understand and know what you are going through. We are always here to listen and share ideas and support when needed. Our thoughts are with you and we would like to "meet" your son when you are ready to introduce him to us. Anything you need don't ever be afraid to ask. Vent, Question, Rant, Rave, Ramble...You name it...It is like a classroom when the teacher leaves...Anything goes here....Never be sorry or afraid...We are all here for you...Laura & AV

Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

I'm so sorry for your loss and your husband being away is not good either. I agree with Laura we are all here for you and no matter what you are not alone. It is difficult to go thru the details something that haunts me all the time. Sometimes I feel like I need to know everything and then get nightmares knowing it. My son was 15 when he was shot and killed 2 years ago. We have trial coming up the end of next year I don't evn know if I can last that long and knowing what we will be facing and having it all come out all over again the pain is unbearable!!!

You have found a wonderful place here and so sorry that you found it.

Timmy's mom

Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

Thank you so much for coming to my aid. I knew others were out there, and it helps so much to know that someone else knows what I am feeling.

I am ready to meet with the DA this afternoon. I had a therapy session this morning, so I am drained of emotion, so now I am ready for the facts.

I will let you know how it went when I get back tonight.

Please keep me in your prayers.


Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

I am so sorry for your loss, but glad you found us. I have gotten lots of help, support and love from all the moms here. So like Laura said you have come to the right place.
Love and Hugs
Jim's Mom

Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

I am home. I feel more drained now, than when I left, but that is to be expected.

The DA wants to offer a deal. They have a good case, but are concerned about the jury feeling sorry for the shooter, because of his age and no priors.

They are going to offer 40 years, which in the state of Texas would be 20 years. The jury could give him as little as 5.

I dread telling my hubby. He is not going to be happy, but it's the justice system that is the problem.

They do not think they will accept the deal, but will try anyway. If they don't accept we will probably go to trial in the spring of next year.

Today is the first day I stood on the spot where my son was shot. There was not a cloud in the sky except one little black one over us. As we stood there, it begin to rain. Maybe a sign, maybe not. Who knows.

Going to try and get some rest. Take care everyone. I will talk to you later.


Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

How old is the person that shot your son? If I was on a jury I would be more concerned about what he may do in the future not that he has no past offences. All criminals start out with no priors and when murder is the first offence I would be very concerned about the future.
sending you many Hugs
Jim's Mom

Re: I Just Need A Friend Who Understands

He is 3 months younger than Joe.