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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)

 

Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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Torturing myself

I went online to the news channel in Abilene where my son was killed. It was where I first saw his story online, and where it really hit me that it was true. I pulled the story up on my blackberry as I drove from NC to TX that horrible day. Earlier today I decided to check it out, just see if anything new has been posted and I saw a video I hadn't seen yet. I dont' know why I keep torturing myself. I get so upset when I see the pictures of my son, see his murderers, see the place where he was shot. I was unable to go to the place he was shot while I was in TX, seeing the video was too much. I included the link to the stories the news channel has. There are eight stories listed, only the first 7 are the stories of my Samuel. It hurts so much, but I have saved the stories, etc. I talked to the newspaper while in TX and included that story also. It's the second link.

http://bigcountryhomepage.com/content/search/?mod=search_results&ref=website&q=samuel+rodriguez&cmd=

http://www.reporternews.com/news/2009/may/26/few-witnesses-coming-forward-in-fatal-shooting/

Re: Torturing myself

Isaida
I think we all do the same thing we want any and all information no matter what we just need to know. I am glad that all three of them are locked up and off the streets.
Love "N" Hugs
Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: Torturing myself

sending my prayers to you joann hubert mom.

Re: Torturing myself

I understand what you are going thru I do it all the time. I still go hunting on the intenet, looking at the videos over & over as they show his Phillies hat in the middle of the stret with blood streaming down, my babies hat, my babies blood. But yet I still torture myself. I think Shirley is right no matter how hard the facts are we still need answers, we need to know, like it will help in some way to know everything we can. Your son was such a handsome young man and I'm so sorry. My son was killed right down the corner from where I live, I have to see that place of death every single day. If I could only move away......

God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom

Re: Torturing myself

I am so glad to hear that you got an indictment. I did the same thing when Kaylin was killed. I looked at everything and then I had to stop. I have looked off and on. I met with the medical investigator, I have gone to the place that she was found. We look for answers because our brains cannot understand why we have this huge hole in our hearts now. I keep telling the people who tell me that I won't want to know everything that I do. I know it will be painful but I NEED to know. I don't want to know I NEED to. I told them that for me it is like if I can know everything then maybe I will be able to make sense of it. I KNOW that it will never make sense because it was senseless. She could have been saved. We all torture ourselves over and over. This too seems to be a part of our new life. Just make sure that you come here to get the support and love that we all have for you.

Re: Torturing myself

Dear Isaida
Hello there.Sorry you are feeling so down and out.I looked at the links and I am so sorry.I too wanted to know anything and everything about my son's murder.Was he in pain,did he say anything,why did they do this to my baby?.I think it is natural that you would want to go through every piece of evidence and medical findings.Mostly because you want to make sure the DA forgets nothing when it comes time for trial.They obviously have soooo many cases,you want to make it personal for them.This is YOUR child.I will keep you in my prayers Isaida and talk to you soon.Love and God Bless and hang in there sweetie.(((((((HUGS)))))))