I'm sitting at work right now, and was having a rough time, so decided to stop by here and just post to try and take my mind off of the pain. I know you all understand how I am feeling. It just hit me all of sudden. Some days I'm ok, but others, like today, it's really hard. I sometimes have such a hard time looking at Samuel's pictures. I just can't believe he's gone. It's going on 3 months now...3 months without Samuel. I know the pain will never go away...I'm struggling just to make it through each day. That is one of the reasons I want to feature each of our precious babies on my blog. I haven't posted yet, but plan on getting to it this week. It helps to stay busy, it helps doing something that will hopefully make a difference for us MOMS or at least ease the pain a little.
I love you all and continue to pray for you all..
I am so sorry today is a tough one for you, you are right it does help to stay busy. Three months is such a short time yet seems like a lifetime since you have seen your Samuel, it has been 19 months for me and I still have a hard time believing my Jim is gone. Just know we are here for you today and always.
Love "N" Hugs
Please know that you are not alone I bet for every mother who has lost a child most likely there are several having a hard time making it through the day. I had to get up and vow to make it through a minute at a time then 5 minutes and so on and so on. I have been on this road 6 years now and there are days that I just want to sit in a corner alone and cry. I started to realize the more I did to honor my daughter Monica the more time would pass. You need to morn your child the way you can make it through. But always look up because he will always be an Angel looking out for you. Stay strong and always know you can find love, compassion and most of all understanding right here. We all walk this road together and we pick each other up as we get further into the journey.
Love and Prayers
Cindy Monica's Mom
I know what your going through and my prayers are with you. It been 2 months since William was murdered and without the meds and the Partial hospitalization program, where I participate in groups all day, I don't think I would be able to handle this emptiness I feel without him. It's so hard. Just know that your not alone, my heart and prayers are with you, I feel your pain and I'm always here for you. You just need to remember one day at a time, our lives will never be the same. But somehow I know God will give us the strenght to get throught the rough days, but without God, my support groups, and MOMS I know I would be in the nut house. Don't forget you can call me anytime, I'm here for you.
I am so sorry that you are having a bad day today. Having a place to let it out helps. It has been a year, one month and 9 days for me and I still find things that will trigger a memory. Unpacking last night I found a letter from her that she wrote telling me she loved me. I found a book she gave me for Mother's Day with her signature and her little heart that she would draw instead of writing love. A little while ago I saw the words to a song that she sang when she was three at Bible School. The teacher held the mic for all the kids to be heard and she walked over and took it and made it a solo. I can close my eyes and see her doing that and jumping up and down clapping after she was through and people were laughing. I had almost forgotten that and seeing the words to that song brought it all back. Just remember that you WILL survive. You have to because you are his voice now and this world needs to hear about him and how wonderful he was. It's hard to always try to appear normal and we just don't have the energy to keep it up all the time. We lost our children so we get to have time to cry and fall apart if we need to. We are here for you and post away if it helps.
Sometimes the sweet memories are what keeps you going thru the day, and then sometimes they tear you apart. Each day brings a different feeling and you never know what it will be. July 13th was 2 years for my son, he was 15. I go crazy looking for pictures I can't find and cry and cry and then cry more when I do find them. I look for things of his laying around the house maybe I hadn't found yet. I think I'm going crazy. I don't know why i do this, but I do. You can also put anything of my son on your site, it helps me know that I try and keep his memory alive and having others see his cutie pie face and those big blue eyes of his. Three months is still so new, I can't say it will get any better the pain stays forever but you find strenght somewhere, I don't know where, but you do. I try and keep strong for my other boys. Evne though I'm falling apart inside and know one knows it. Take care and know you are not alone in your pain, and keep writing. I wrote a journal and then stopped as it became to painful, then I started typing one on the computer and swore I'd keep at it, but can't seem to get myself back. It did help me in the beginning, like I would write to him and put in memories I'd have that day.
Isaida I think it is good to have projects. I have found that when things are really bad that if I have one whether it be a new collage, photo album, video, etc. it helps me to somehow get through it. Our house as I have seen true in Bette's & Barb's house is full of our angels pictures in collages, paintings, drawings...whatever we have of them so I didn't feel like our house was out of place nor a shrine for Lisa but a typical house where an angel was present. My youngest who will be 18 next week said to me don't worry Mom there will be plenty of time to take pictures of us...meaning she wanted her sister to have all the limelight I wanted her to have. But then the "bittersweet" of all our lives...It dawned on me that those will be the last pictures we will ever have and not that I didn't know that but that the others will age and our beautiful angel will forever be 18 and I got the feeling in my chest will it feels like your heart is just going to break from the pain. Once again I think it is great that you are involving our angels in your projects as that is so important to all of us. Laura & AV
My Son's birthday is tomorrow and it is killimg me i just want to die. His sunrise 15 August 1982 His sunset 23 Jan 2009. I am just devastated. I try to find ways to kill myself. No one seems to understand this terrible awful pain that is with mw 24/7
ezzet - I am so sorry for your loss and will be praying for you as you celebrate your son's birthday without him. I know the pain you speak about....we all do. You have come to the right place for support. I am going to send you an e-mail, but please know I am here for you, whenever you need someone to talk to. We MOMS have to stick together as we are the only ones who can truly understand the pain we are going through.
My prayers and thoughts are with you.
I just got back from vacation.Happy belated birthday to your dear son.I hope you have had some peace thinking of his sweet memory and that it was also a reminder that the world was a better place for him having stopped by for awhile.
I'm sure all of us at one time or another have thought that dying would be a solution to our heartache,but that would just cause too much pain for those we leave behind.And we all know that unbearable pain.To inflict that on another is just not fair.And so we hope for one more day to get through, hard as it is,painful as it is,till we can breathe again.
You are in my thoughts and prayers.Hang in there honey,you will have bad days but then a good day will sneak up on you,one that you will just smile at all the blessings your son gave you.Many ,many hugs to you and your family ((((((((((hugs))))))))))