Hi moms...i have not written in ages..one reason...is because my name was googled by someone and my posts on here were brought up, and the wrong person read it...unfortunately causing me some more grief...but I couldnt not write to tell u all I am here surviving. I think of her daily still...cry daily still...my other daughter is in distress still over this all...and for the last week, since it is the week of the anniversary, she has been a wreck. We never seem to really stop grieving. We both at times have our own little moments..hers, is forgetting what Leah sounded like, forgetting what shelooked like except for in the pics we have...she feels guilty. Mine..is looking at the pics, and wondering if she was real..if she is just a picture I have all over, or is she was really a living breathing child of mine. The time is making her seem farther away from me than ever. So sad. Tonight we will be having our annual balloon release over by the last place she was seen alive...hoping that will be nice. Take care ladies!
It is said that time heals all wounds, not this one though. It seems the first year is just a blur. Then the longer our angels are gone the more we miss them reality has hit by the second year and we face the fact that our angels are not coming back. None of us should be having to face each new year without our children. I don't even base the new year on Jan. 1st anymore the new year for me is Dec. 17th.
I am so sorry you are going through this pain of Leah's anniversary. I will keep you in my thoughts and in my heart.
Love "N" Hugs
We are so sorry what you are going through and now you can't even be comfortable posting on here. What is wrong with this world? I met a mom at a crime victims rally and she had the same feeling you did about looking at her daughters picture and wondering if she was ever real. It has been 10 years for her and she just wonders the same things you are wondering and it is so scary for that to happen. No one will ever realize what goes through our minds and more importantly our hearts. I hope all goes as well as can be for the balloon release and we will be thinking of your Angel Leah tonite. Love n' Hugs Laura & AV
I agree it's not fair you shouldn't feel unconfortable posting here, what is wrong with people???? I'm so sorry that you are going thru this. I can't imagine those thoughts but can envision it happening because we all live in A NIGHTMARE. That's the only way I can describe how I feel. I can't go on, will just start to cry ...
Dear Bev I am so sorry,my computer has been acting up and I wasn't able to come on message board.I hope your memorial balloon release gave you some comfort.Our children's dates are sad but it is the love of others who stand with us through our sorrow that helps us through difficult days.I don't necessarily wonder was he real,but is this situation real? Because of the message board and his memorial pages,I try to keep a close connection with him,otherwise I would feel like he doesn't exist anymore.He does exist,just in a different world that I don't fully understand.I will be part of that world someday and as I read somewhere,I don't look at my childs passing as one more day without my child but rather one day closer to being with them again.Keeping you,your daughter,and your family in my prayers.Love and God Bless
I am so sorry that you are going through this. We need a safe place to talk and I am sorry someone took that away from you feeling like you can post what you need to. You are in my thoughts. I hope that you felt Leah around you.