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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)
My name is Gabby Zieden and I work for Stick Figure Productions. We are a high end documentary production company founded by an Emmy-winning and Academy Award-nominated producer and director. We develop and create documentaries for HBO, Bravo, PBS, Showtime, Discovery, as well as other networks.
Stick Figure is in the process of developing a documentary for HBO and are looking for couples who have recently lost a child to participate. The documentary will focus on the grieving process and the families search for peace and spiritual healing. It is a chance for them to share their story and let other parents who have suffered this type of traumatic loss know they are not alone. I myself lost my mother a few years ago and still deal with it every day. I know the grieving process is difficult and we are looking to follow the journey in as sensitive and compassionate a fashion as possible.
Thank you for your help,
212 600 9288
If you are checking back I, for one, would like to know if your search is limited to just couples. I think it is a wonderful opportunity and something all of us have been talking about since we started this long lonely nightmare of a journey. We would like to scream out to others what we have to go through not only on a daily basis but from one minute to the next never knowing when our next "panic attack" will happen just by remembering something or someone saying something that they think is helpful but really is just downright insensitive and mean to us. We also never want our Angels memories to fade and need to talk about them now more than ever and others don't seem to grasp that. I tell them Lisa was taken away don't take away her memory...Let us talk about her..We need to so we can survive--myself, my roommate and our girls (Lisa's sisters) live and breathe Lisa and her loss as do the other families whose children have been murdered. We tend to ramble too when we get the chance which is evident as my point was going to be this I am sure there are many who would love to participate but the "couples" may limit many of us MOMS as many who were couples are no longer after the murder of their child...even some who still are couples are not really as relationships are so very difficult and suffer greatly due to the loss. I would hope you might consider some of the single moms as well. We have made many videos and are trying to start up an extension of our MOMS group--Voices of Moms to let others know we are here so no other mother has to be alone and to let society know how wrong it is the way they think when it comes to murder. I would like to invite you to watch some of them to meet some of our moms/angels and they can be found on the following links:
http://lisachristine-maas.last-memories.com/index.php?co=media VOM Revised, Looking for Answers & A mothers loss I have chosen from our daughters website
http://jimmy-redenius.last-memories.com/index.php?co=media our children, heartache, survivor, justice or injustice are all excellent representatives of our loss and what we go through by Shirley Jimmy's Mom
http://kaylinmarie-mathews.last-memories.com/index.php?co=media If everyone cared, The way we were by Kim Kaylins mom are also excellent
We have put much time, thought and most importantly our hearts into these works and would be honored if you would be able to watch them so you might better understand who we are and what we represent. I really needed to type this as during conversation I might not be as thorough with my thoughts. We need to write many things down as our rollercoaster of a life we now lead don't allow us to function as we once did when our hearts were whole and our lives were not devasted by this tragedy. Thanks for listening and we hope to hear back from you. Sincerely Laura & AV
I agree with Laura the thing I would like to add would be the injustices we have had to endure since our children were murdered.
It seems since our children children have been murdered they have no voice and no rights.
We all say we have to be their voice during and after trial but I never had a chance to be my son's voice until my impact statement, and that was something the jury didn't get to hear.
Some families have to wait years to get to trial and that is basically up to the person who murdered our children. Fortunately for me the POS that murdered my son wanted a speedy trial or I like many others might still be waiting.
Some of us have advocates to help us through the court process and some of us have to fight to get answers to simple questions.
We see murderers getting nothing more than a slap on the wrist or get out of prison in just a few years.
There should be NO good time for a murderer, if they aren't sentenced to prison for the rest of their lives then they should have to spend each and every day they have been sentenced to.
This list could go on for pages and if you are interested in what we have gone through we will list other injustices.
My husband and I would love to participate. We want so much to let others know what we face not only in our grief but in having to deal with a legal system that puts the victim on trial. We also have a son who misses his sister everyday. I don't know if you plan to use siblings and if you are not it may be a good thing for another documentary. They face a loss that is hard for their friends t understand as well. When your child is murdered your grief is interrupted because you have to stop to fight for justice as well. I can tell you about holidays and having to leave the grocery store because it is too painful to be in there. I can tell you about driving to the place her body was found and screaming until I couldn't scream anymore. We have to face holidays in a new way and make new traditions that include our children. I have even painted my office her favorite color and decorated it with butterflies just to feel that she is near.
Every mother here is a strong woman who lives WITH this every day. We do not "get over it". It is a death that is not like any other you experience. I lost my mom 6 years ago and until my daughter was murdered it was the hardest death I had to go through. To have your child die before you is so unnatural. You wonder how you will survive, and you find groups like this and we help each other. We hold each other up and sometimes we all lean together just so none of us fall. Our children mattered and their lives had value and I would love the chance to talk to you as would my husband.
AMEN TO WHAT EACH OF YOU SAID . There is a lot of stories here .
Bobbie Billy Lee's mom
I think that a documentary is a great way to bring attention to the many murders that happen to our children on a daily basis. I am however somewhat confused as to why you would just want to focus on couples that have lost a child? What about the many single mothers who have long been divorced from the father of the child who was murdered? Is my voice less important just because I am no longer married to my son's father? I believe ALL parents who have lost a child should have a voice in the matter. If we don't stand up for our children, who will?
Amen Alisa, no truer words were spoken!
I hope this post goes through since I can no longer post here for whatever reason. I'm so sorry to see so many new MOMS here, but glad you found us.
Your voice is just as important if not more because you have to struggle alone. I would love to speak with your and hear your story if you are willing to tell it. Please call me during office hours at 212 600 9288 or on my cell anytime at 609 915 3412
I would really like to hear all your stories please please call me if you are interested in sharing and maybe participating in the documentary.
212 600 9288 during office hours
609 915 3412 anytime after that
My computer was down for a while and I am just reading this now.I think it is wonderful that your company is looking to do a documentary on this subject.Is this limited to couples which me and my husband are but the siblings involved are going through such heartache also.I have 5 children,4 alive and one with the Lord.No one prepares you for this journey and many moms and dads can't cope themselves and then they have to hold their families together too.My son Nicky can be found here and on last-memories.com.Our last name is Pisano.Thank you for your interest and yes it would be nice if you could include single moms.They have alot to offer.God Bless
Gabby. I spoke to Tamara and emailed her the information that she requested. There are so many MOMS here who would be so willing to share what we face. We face things from so many places. Feeling like you have to fight the system just to get justice, having to deal in some cases with insensitive people who don't understand that we cannot just move on and get over it. I do hope they do call. Our stories need to be shared.
I think that it is important to get as many stories out as possible to the public. I would love to be able to participate however, after talking to the powers that be who are in charge of the case, they recommend that I wait until the trial is over before I speak. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize our case. It hasn't even went before the grand jury yet.
Has anyone heard anything? Tamera told me she would let me know something last week, but I haven't heard anything yet. I do hope that even if they don't plan to use us in this documentary they will at least have the courtesy to tell us and keep us in mind for another one that will deal more with what we face. Just wondered if anyone from our site will be representing the murdered child's family or if we are going to be forgotten again.
We are still working out what direction we want to go with the documentary and I promise to get back to you as soon as I have more news
Thanks for replying Gaby. That is what I was hoping was happening. I really pray you can use some MOMS from here. I truly hope if you can't that you can maybe use us for a separate project. I know that people would be surprised to see how the "justice" system works. I know that I was. Our grief gets interrupted often as we try to navigate a system that seems to be stacked against the victim. I appreciate you staying in touch with us. :) :)
So one of the MOMS heard that they said they had everyone they are using. Has anyone heard anything? I hope it was just a miscommunication because if it wasn't they are liars who did not come back and let us know that they had made their decision. I hope that they would not be so insensitive as to keep us hanging on hoping that they actually cared and would help us try to get the information out there about what you face with the justice system. If they have made their decision I would be curious to know how many stories will be about the loss of a child through murder. I certainly hope they will come back and let us know one way or the other.
I do believe they went ahead without us as they did say they were moving rapidly. Without including a murdered child their documentary will not even begin to be able to let others know about the true loss of a child. There is nothing worse...no worse loss than to have your child murdered or your brother/sister and to exclude us from their special I feel will only take away from it. It is their loss if they don't want to truly show how the loss of a child affects the family. I think perhaps they were too overwhelmed by the whole murder aspect so perhaps we should look to a bigger production company who can actually "handle" the aspect of murder. While a seperate special on murder is certainly a project worth looking into, as they suggested, it should by no means have excluded murdered children from being represented in a loss documentary. We can only hope they selected someone from another group to represent murder. I have seen their names on other websites asking for participants. In fact if you go to the Lilydale site you will see them there or they were a week of so ago. It is one of the largest pyschic/medium communities in the country and has world renowned mddiums, spiritualists, etc. It has been referred to as the town that talks to the dead. It is about an hour from where we live. You are right about one thing it would have only taken a moment for them to answer us so once again we are left out which we are used to in this lonely journey. Luv ya...Laura & AV
I agree with you. I was disheartened that they never called me back after my intail talk.
I wonder what kind of stories they thought they would get by posting on a site for murdered children? I don't think they take the time to think that we see it as an opportunity to educate people as well about the "justice" system. Did any one of you know how incredibly unjust our system was before this? How much it caters to the criminal? I don't believe most people know that and this would have been an opportunity for them to have shown that, even if it were in a separate documentary. This is our life now and we grieve but our grief is different in that we don't get to just grieve, we get interrupted with court dates and continuances that go on and on and with our kids being blamed for their own murders. It is just very sad that they could come here and post yet not come back to say they had made their decisions. I am wondering how many murdered children will be on their documentary, I am betting not one. I guess they really didn't want to know about our loss after all. When they come here and post like that and then don't even take the time to tell us anything they chip away at the hope we have. How long would it take to let us know something?