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M.O.M.S (Mothers of Murdered Sons/Daughters)
I guess you guys know that I'm going to Branson on the 19th for a week...I get to see my kids and their familys...I get to see my grandson,JJ, for the first time(and he'll be a year old next month)...I even get to finally meet Kayt...But, here's my dilemma...You know that I haven't gone anywhere for a year...No further than to deliver Brad to work and pick him up...Well, as much as I look forward to this vacation..And as much as I miss my kids...I don't want to go...I don't want to leave for that long...I haven't said anything to Brad...And I won't ruin his long awaited vacation time...But, I just don't want to go...Maybe its because I've gained so much weight and I feel so bad about myself...Or maybe it's because of Jeremys birthday coming up on the 27th...But Brads birthday is coming up to, on the 22nd...But, I just don't want to go...I know that once I get there I'll be fine, cuz I really do want to see my kids...But, I just dont want to go...I've waited a long time to meet Kayt, and I'm really excited about it...But, I just don't want to go...I know that it will be fun and Brad really deserves his vacation time...He works such long hours all the time...And on his days off they always call him for help..And this will really be good for him...But, I just don't want to go...What is my problem? It seems like the closer it gets the more upset I get...I can hardly concentrate...Have I really become a shut in? I joke about it all the time, but, now I'm beginning to wonder if I'm not joking...I must really be a head case...Do any of you have any suggestions? I really need to know how to relax so I can enjoy this time with my family. Please HELP me.
You are not alone on this I felt the same way about Hawaii and I knew I would have a good time. Now I am going to Ds in Oct. and I feel the same way just not quite as bad. I am excited about going I get to meet in person Darien, Laura and AV and I know we will have a great time and it will be good for all of us. You will feel better once you are on your way and you will have a great time.
This will sound a little crazy (well maybe not) I always feel like I am leaving Jim home alone when I go some place, but I know that is crazy cause he will be right there with me just like he always is.
Go Girl Have A Great Time.
Love "N" Hugs
Big Jim's Mom
Julie I know what you mean. I am a home body lately too. Sometimes I have to MAKE myself go. A little of that "Put one foot in front of the other" song I guess. Would you like me to call you and sing it to you? I will. :) Take the first step and each one will get easier. Remind me of that when I tell you I am anxious about something. You will see Jeremy in your other kids. There will be the gentle reminders and things that no matter how hard they try, they do alike. They need to see you too and who cares if you gained weight. They want to see you anyway. So you are not crazy, I mean crazier then you normally are, :) We will be here supporting you and encouraging you.
Girl there are many reasons why you are feeling the anxiety. You have brought some of the reasons up yourself. Girl I max ought on anxiety and have for most of my life. However, MY Psychologist assured me I was not crazy. Mabe she was lying.lol. I do know your not crazy. A little nuts yea we all are. We have earned it. lol. Something I did not hear you say is YOU deserve a vacation. You may be anxious and worried but you go girl. You need to get out of that house and have a good time with your family. Even though your kids are grown, they still need their Moma. They don't care what you look like. They love you for you not your looks. You guys go and have a great time. I imagine Jeremy will really get a kick out of having you all in one place (together). That is all the Hot Fat Yoga Moma has to say. Luv Ya.