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Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 

 

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Help getting into MOMS chat.

My nephew david was murdered on June 15th saving the life of his little brother from a knife weilding crack head.He was stabbded in the neck and died in his little brothers arm while holding the hand of his fiance.I have been accepted by the administration but I cant seem to get into chat.Please help I really need to talk.My family is shattered and I really need an understanding ear and some advice.Sincerily Davids Aunt Lori

Re: Help getting into MOMS chat.

Lori,
Go to the top of this page or the bottom of the first page and click on moms chatroom. You will see an orange square with the word Java on it after it is finished loading type your name into the top box and hit enter chatroom. You might need to download Java to your computer. I will be in chat tonight around 6:00 west coast time.
Hugs
Jim's Mom
Shirley

Re: Help getting into MOMS chat.

Dear Lori
How is your sister Yvonne? Stupid question right? I tried to use the email link to her email and it didn't respond.Please keep coming on here and letting us konw how everyone is doing.Yvonne will come here when she is ready,and we will be waiting for her.I don't get in chat much as I am an early riser and early to bed person.My good days are Monday and Tues early morning and no one is ever there then.I have been praying for her and Travis and the rest of your family.So new and raw is your pain.I call it the 'I CAN'T BREATHE" stage.You are very intuitive to her needs and I'm glad she has you by her side.She will need your presence on a daily basis.Sometimes she will want to talk and other times she will want to be left alone.It is nothing personal towards you and I'm glad I had a sis like you who understood that I needed more than I was getting from my own family.I took a long time realizing that they lost him also,and their pain was immense.It was just different.
Well hopefully in the weeks to come Yvonne will reach out and know that there are others who know and feel her pain.Love Always and God Bless

Re: Help getting into MOMS chat.

Dear Nickys mom,thans so much for your reply.Im sorry about my sisters email I got it wrong.Her correct email is baileymoon62@yahoo.com.I have had the chance to tell her about what Id been posting and to whom.I have also tryed to get her involved with Parents Of Murdered Children.Although she seems happy with the replys Ive read to her she is still not ready to post or go into a chat.Ive mentioned and all she can do is sob and tell me shes not ready yet.I understand.I think it makes it more "real" for her somehow?We buired David a day before her birthday so needless to say she didnt even want it acknowledged.Who could blame her?But surprisingly she asked if she could share my husbands birthday which is 5 days after hers.She wanted a cookout with all of our family there.So I had one for her yesterday and no one cried during it.Granted my sister and I had cryed before but no one did during.I even heard our kids laughing.It was suck a strange and wonderful sound.Even though it has only been 2 weeks today since we lost our David thats a long time to go with no laughter in your life.I pray she is strong enough soon to come on here but I know I must be pataint.I just cant bare to see her in so much pain.She still cant be left alone and Davids fiance is staying with her and our niece and her daughter are going to go for a few days and than another one of my nieces as well.This is so **** hard and painful.She told me she needs to make an poointment with the victums advocate and I told her that Id go with her.She is still so upset Im afraid she wont ask the needed questions.The monsters next court apparence is August 31 and the advocate wants to let her know exactly what to expect.I will be at all of this animals court dates.Every last one.Not only because my sister needs me there,but "I" need to be there.I wish I knew what to do with the rage Im carrying,hell the rage my entire family is carrying.Everytime I think of the way my poor dear nephew passed I want the man dead and than dead again.We are going to come up with some sort of tshirt with Davids picture on it to wear at all court appearances.I want the jury to see and never forget all the lives this man has damaged when he took our David.I sit her still unable to quit grasp the fact that he is gone and that I will never again see his smiling face or hear his laugh.He will no longer be at all our family gatherings and holidays.Well so much for not crying today.I dont think theres been one of us that hasnt cryed everyday since David was taken from us.Thanks again for your reply and I will hopefully catch you in chat .Sincerily Davids Aunt Lori

Jims mom

Dear Jims mom, thanks for the help getting into moms chat.Sadly no one ever seems to be there now that I can get in .Im sorry I wasnt in chat last night but we had a bbq with what is left of our family.My sister wanted one so I threw one together.It was so nice to have all our family together but David was sorely missed and always will be at family functions and holidays.But all and all it turned out very nice and no one cryed during it.And i actually heard our kids all laughing.Like they always do whenever we get together.They love eachother very much and have always been close.That is why is is so hard for them, for all of us.My family is very close.Im posting my sisters email since I posted it wrong

Re: Jims mom

Lori, I am so glad to see that your sister has you. Sadly some are not as fortunate. I am and I know that without my family's support I don't know what I would do. They let me cry and because I rarely cried before they know that when I do that I am hurting bad. You are doing what she needs. I think it is a good idea that you are going with her because our minds seem to change. This is likened to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and we do suffer from it. This is so fresh for you. SHe is going to go through so many emotions, many in the same hour. In two days it will be one year since Kaylin was murdered, yet it seems like yesterday. This is a road none of us want to be on and I am just so sad that your family had to join us. Try to take your rage and honor David. We each find a way to do it and it helps us survive. For me, making a memorial for Kaylin helped. Some MOMs can't do it yet and that is fine. No one grieves the same and there is no right way. I just hope some suggestions of what helped me might help you and your sister. A few of us make slide shows, The Quilt was made by a MOM, It becomes so important for us to keep our child's memory alive. We cannot let them be forgotten because they are unforgettable. Their lives had value and we have to let the world know. My daughter was dumped in a ravine and left there to die. In my state that is only a misdemeanor. I am working towards getting it changed to a felony. Other MOMS are fighting battles in memory and in honor of their child too. Reading through these posts may help Yvonne and when she is ready she will do it. She has you to help her and you don't know how important that is. We see people we thought would always be there abandon us and leave so the ones who stay and support us we appreciate even more. This is a great place to rant and to vent and to ask questions and to share memories. Anything that she wants to post when she is ready. We are here with open arms and ready to help her any way we can.
As for chat, First I was offline and now it is getting near the year anniversary so it has been a rough few days. I hope that I am able to catch you on there soon.