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It's been seven years

My thoughts always go back to the betrayal, how must have my son felt when he realized what was happening, what went through his mind the last few minutes of his life. Those last few minutes have haunted me these last seven years. I will never understand how someone could take a life in cold blood, how through days of planning and then going through with something as senseless as taking another pesons life for personal gain could make any sense what so ever. It didn't back then and it doesn't now, it never will. What kind of person allows themself to think that any amount of money may be worth taking another persons life and where did this kind of thinking begin? I have blamed myself, the boys parents, the society we live in but no matter where I place the blame the result is the same, my dear sweet Wes is gone and I am left to continue to wonder why.
We can call the perps monsters but the truth is they were just mere boys not unlike my son. The one huge difference is the choices they made and maybe why they made them. What made them think that the monatary gain from killing my son and his friend was worth taking a life and the risk of spending the rest of their lives in prison, where did the thought process break down?
I do get to live with the knowledge that my son was a kind, sweet young man who had finally accepted who he was and was comfortable living in his skin.He loved his life, he was loved and cherished by all who really knew him and he will be forever missed.
ROCK ON Wes, your memory brings a smile to my lips and a tear to my eye. We all miss you sooooooooo very much.

Re: It's been seven years

we will always wounder why. the pain is so fresh each day. i am sending you my prayers to day and always my hugs,sometimes i take a step back in time too and wounder why.lol joann hubert mom,

Re: It's been seven years

Kayt
I believe Wes is right by your side today and always, watching you muck around in the rain laboring with love in his memorial garden and knowing how much you care about all the other moms Wes is so very proud of you.
Love to you Kayt YOU are a great LADY.
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley

Re: It's been seven years

one thing is for sure...you are not alone in the way you feel...we(moms) all wonder each and every day why...why my son(or daughter)...and, what they were thinking in those last horrifying moments of their young sweet lives...im hugging you kayt..be strong..we are all beside you..even though we are miles away.

Re: It's been seven years

Kayt,
Please know that our thoughts are with you today and everyday and may Wes's memories help you find strength through these most difficult days...Love n' Hugs...Laura & AV

Re: It's been seven years

Dear Kayt, I'm thinking of you and your Angel Wes. May your heart be filled with beautiful memories of your precious son. May you rest in paradise Wes, you'll be loved and missed forever!

Re: It's been seven years

I'm sorry I'm a day late. I don't ever think the pain goes away and we always ask that questions why? and no answer will ever be good enough anyway. He is with you always in your heart and memories. I pray God gives you some comfort to get you thru this difficult time.

God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom

Re: It's been seven years

Thank you ladies
Bette you are right you never really get over it.I ended up not being able to go to Wes's favorite spot because of the weather but I ended up hiking to the waterfall we have on our land and because of all the rain it was gushing! As I sat there contemplating my life all the losses and blessing the ups and the downs, the people who have entered into it and those who have left I realized that this is just a second in time that this too shall pass and I will see my son again. Then the dogs came running up the creek that makes the falls and got me all wet, nothing changes. I did decide to name the waterfalls, Wesley Falls, I don't know why we hadn't thought of that one before but it just seems like the right thing to do and he would love having it named after him.I'm going to make a sign and We're going to do a little ceremony with the grandsons. Just another way of keeping his memory alive.

Re: It's been seven years

Dear Kayt I am so sorry I'm late with this message.You spoke what I feel in my heart as robbery was also the reason Nicky is dead.Yesterday,today tomorrow it will never make sense.Wes's waterfall is such a great idea please take plenty of pics so we can see it.I miss lighting candles for Wes,I don't know if you know it but I stumbled upon him in find a grave.I don't know who started it it looks fairly new.I left him a message on it yesterday.Love to you and many,many hugs God Bless.My thoughts are with you

Re: It's been seven years

Barb, how do you get into find a grave I tried and didn't know what to look for. I don't think i started it, if I did I don't remember.

Re: It's been seven years

Kayt, here is the link:

http://www.findagrave.com

All you do is put in his name to search for it. I also miss lighting candles for so many mom's here who don't have another website. I wish memory-of.com would get their act together.

I love that idea for Wesley's Falls and having a little ceremony for the sign and all what a great idea.

I have a little garden outside, being a city girl we don't have much yard space LOL but the lawn mower is not working and I just spent an hour weed whacking it so believe me that little yard was a big back ache for me now LOL but I really wanted to start planting some flowers for my "Timmy Garden". I know you are an avid planter, any suggestions I would like to plant some pretty bushes that bloom which come back every year and are not hard to maintain because my dog will just trample over the flowers and destroy them all LOL I wanted to get Butterfly Bushes but I heard they also attract bees and I'm deathly afraid of bees LOL big baby that I am. Any suggestions would be great, my back yard gets sun all day!!!

God Bless
Bette

Re: It's been seven years

Hi Kayte,
May 6th was two years for me. I went to the site where they kiled my Gene and sat there with a candle lit also asking the same questions. Why? Did he know what was going to happen to him? Did he see the gun to his head? Oh God! Why!!! Then I went to his favorite place and had wings and a pitcher of beer! We did that every Thursday night. Keeping you in my heart and prayers. Take care and God Bless You.