Mother's I feel like i'm dying inside for every step forward i take 90 steps backwards. My god it's not getting better it's become reality that this is not a dream!!! please god help cause i can't keep taking heartache. please don't forget to stop by and light a candle for my baby boy!! on his angel day tomorrow april 03

I will be praying for you. Feb. 1st, 2002 was when my sons blood was shed by another human being. I remember when it was 2 yrs. People assured me I would not be hurting as much. Looking back I remembered that those people who only tried to help HAD NOT lost a child by the hands of another human being. I wish I could tell you that it gets better. But I can't. It's been 7 yrs for me and everyday a part of me feels like dying because the pain and reality of him not being here is sooooo soooo overpowering. My heart goes out to you because I KNOW exactly what you are feeling and going through. MAY PEACE BE WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY....LOOK TO GOD that's what has helped me on this journey... and know that you are not alone. MOMS is a safe place where we can go and feel comfort. I know for me at has. GOD BLESS

HI ALEE JOSHUA IS ALWAYS WITH YOU .PLEASE KNOW THAT WE ALL KNOW HOW YOU FEEL MY HEARTH GO OUT TO YOU WE WILL NEVER HAVE THE ANSWERS THAT WE NEED,WE TRY TO PUT ON THE HAPPY FACE AN PLAY THE PART BUT WE ALL ARE HURTING SO MUCH EACH DAY HAVEING TO LOOSE A CHILD OR FAMILY MEMBER TOO MURDER IS SO HARD WE WILL NEVER GET OVER IT ,WE TRY TO LIVE WITH IT,THERE ARE NO WORDS THAT I CAN SAY THAT YOU ALL READY KNOW MY PRAYERS ARE ALWAYS WITH YOU -------PLEASE CALL ME ''''''''''''ANYTIME ,,,,,,,,,LOVE ANOTHER MOTHER WHO KNOWS,HUGGGGSSSSS.JOANN---HUBERT MOM

Alee,

You are not alone all of the MOMS are praying for you and We are the ones who know your pain. The 27th is my Daughter Monica's Angel Day and it will be 6 years since she was gunned down because she would not allow him to come back. It never gets easier you just learn to live with the pain. Only those who have been through it really know. We send you love and prayers and remember Joshua will always be your Angel watching over you giving you strength waiting for the time when God calls you home and you can hold your son again. Feel his strength for I know he is with you.

Love and Prayers

Cindy Monica's Mom

Dear Alee I just wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your family.My son Nicky's first angelversary date was March 31st and although I got some response to it,I was very dissappointed at the lack of response from some people who I thought were my friends.Your friends and family are the ones who will help you through these tough times and the Lord.Count on no one but those who truly care and they will carry you through the most difficult day besides the day your baby died.I still thank those of the MOMS that did respond to me on that horrific day,they will remain deep in my heart.Try to stay strong and remember Joshua with happy thoughts.May the Lord send you peace and comfort and may the sun shine as bright as your precious child.God Bless and many hugs your way Barb

Alee & Maribel,
We are sorry for your loss as well as all the moms. We have a nightly chat room if you ladies want to come and talk with the other moms...it can be more personal. Once again I am sorry for your losses and hope you may find some comfort with the moms.

Barb,
I know what you mean and think we have all felt that way at some point or another. When I discuss that with my counselor she tells me that I am relying on someone whose life is just as devastated as mine. But I can be stubborn and reply but they should know more than anyone that we need to be heard and need to hear from them as well. I believe while we are on the same long lonely journey we are in different places at different times with that sometimes changing from minute to minute. I also believe that while we all have so much in common we are all very different at how we handle each and every day...Bette is a chameleon of sorts...she appears to be very meak & mild but we know what a strong person she can be & don't back her in the corner or that finger will come out pointing & then you will be done! For myself I think others see me as strong and think I am handling things very well and perhaps they see you that way too. They believe because you aren't constantly vocal about Nicky's loss it isn't hurting as bad and don't need the support of someone who is more willing to pour out their inner most feelings. What they don't realize is that nothing could be further from the truth as I know your pain and my pain is just as constant and overwhelming as it gets. I think of Lisa constantly and lately her last moments have been with me through out the days and nights. I really don't info like that too much though and am more private. Perhaps because I am afraid it is like Pandora's box and if I open it then it will get out and run "amuck" and I need my energy to get through each day. Another reason though is exactly what you said and what I tell my family...there are four of us that we definitely know we can count/depend on for sure. Outside of that have no expectations whatsoever for any reason at all. WE are not in the position to deal with disappointments and if we have no expectations from anyone at all then we won't be disappointed. Anything that comes are way then it a "bonus" I guess. Love 'n Hugs...Laura & AV

Dear Alee and Maribel
I have tried to honor your children by lighting a candle but I can't find a way to do this except on the MOM's candle page if you have another site let me know please.I hope you have found some comfort and peace in these past few days and the days to come.I will keep you in prayer.May God Bless and keep you Love Always Barb

Dear Laura
I ask that you always remain my voice of reason.I guess I was just feeling sorry for myself and it was unfair of me to not relish the support I did get from others on that day.This was selfish of me as I always want more especially where Nicky is concerned.I don't always know what is going on in someone else's life,I guess I assume too much.Everyone is falling apart not just me it's just that on that day you need as many people who understand as possible.If my world only narrowed down to those who responded to me that day I should get on my knees and thank the Lord above for His Blessings and all your friendship and caring.Love Always Barb

YOU ARE ALSO IN MY PRAYERS AND THANK YOU AND THE OTHER MOMS FOR ALL YOUR PRAYERS AND COMMENTS .MUCH LOVE ALEE

YOU CANDLE LIGHT A CANDLE ON MEMORIES.COM JUST TYPE IN Joshua Bunton name and it will pull up his site

Thank you Joann for all of your prayers and thoughts. I'm sorry I haven't been in-touch in a while but please believe that i haven't forgotten any of my special moms. alee

my heart goes out to you and rest assure that i will keep you and our special angels in my prayers. alee