I try to be up beat and keep my feelings in but I have been having some really bad days. I miss My Jimmy so much, I just washed his car and I can picture him when he would wash it he would take the seats out just so he vacuum under them. Doors open Hatch open stereo blasting. Did I ever mention Jim was bordering on being a clean freak. Even when you walked into his house you wouldn't have thought it was a guys house. 2 clean! Oh yea big bad Jim hated spiders too he made his landlord (his cousin) come over to help him pull out the appliances because he thought he had seen a black widow spider and he wanted to clean behind them. My heart is really hurting again today.
Love yous guys
Jim's Mom

I'm so sorry you're feeling sad...I really do wish there were something that I could say or do to make you feel better...And if there were, I think I'd say them to myself as well...Love and hugs to you Shirley...Your Sister in pain, Julie

Shirley Billy Lee has been gone 11 years now . I d on't belive the pain ever goes away. I think we just take one step at a time & do all we can to rember them
& let others know they were here & thier lives
was taken to soon.

Bobbie Billy Lee's mom

NO! And, it never ever will. I love and miss my son Gerrick so very very much and can't express in words how immense the pain is. I am sorry this is such a short comment, but thanks again for those wonderful videos you made.

I don't think it ever does. Some days I just feel numb. The pain is there always. Things that would have once been happy occasions are always tinted with sadness. It is exhausting pretending and then having to go home and be faced with it when you are alone. We used to fix things for them and there is no fixing this. It hurts so much. No wonder so many MOMS are getting sick or feeling bad physically. I am so sorry that this is an especially tough time, because everyday is hard. I wish there was a magic answer or a way to just get them back. I love all of you MOMS. Without you I know that I would not be able to survive this at all.

I don't know what it is but this past week has been truly hard to deal with. Some days it just hits you like a brick wall. Maybe with the weather starting to get a little nicer, and thinking of all the things we'd do in the summer time. So do I do??? I think how or what can I do for his 2nd year angelversary in July. ??????? Life is so hard anymore. I cry at the weirdest things, I went to see my niece's new baby on Sat. and she was so cute on my way home I was hysterical, remembering how Timmy was a baby and how cute he was and the things he did and how I'll never get a grandbaby from him. No I don't think the pain ever goes away and never will, we just learn to live thru each day as it comes, that's the only way I get thru it.

god Bless
Bette
timmy's mom

Mrs.shirley I can't see this pain ever going anywere I know I will never really smile until I can hold my SON again.I can't cry I really feel like my life can't be real,what did I do we do for our angel to die. I have always help others,been kind to others,now my life feel unreal,I hate this life.I have to take sleepping pills everyday like 13 at one time,it will not put me to sleep,when I try not to take them I get really sick,can't keep food or anything down.So I don't think this pain will end, My heart is really hurting but so much has happend to me,I don't understand way??? why any of us?? they have people out here killing,killing they kill kids,older people who never do anyone anything but they to be 60 and older why? whould they get to live,make changes after they took someone's life. Our Angels never killed,really hurt anyone so why them,why do evil get to walk the streets,have kids,be with there moms,familys ?? this hurt me so much ,I don't understand?? please forgive me for I know they say God knows best but when you loss a child you just don't understand anything anymore. I love you all,again Mrs.shirleys your in my prayers alway's,I send you my love and also Thanks again for putting my son on UTUBE. PS. MY Sister please forgive my bad spelling That why I don't really write. I love you my sister's,I send you all my love,a big huge!! Terry(Cedric's)Mom Alway's

After reading all the moms posts I realize the pain must not ever end. It has only been 3 months for me, and I am just getting by. Love to you all, but I realize from reading your thoughts I will also feel this way. Just that I can only share we people who feel the same way. The rest of the world sees somone different.

MRS.Jill I just wonted to say I am so so sorry for your loss,we all will keep you in our prayers. no one will understand like someone who feels this pain like us,it's sad how people ack after a short time like if you should just move on like they have. How and the hell can others say this kind of things to us,ack like life is the same when it will never be the same for any of us. I know after my son was murdered I started to feel and still do feel like less then whole and like I failed as a mother,a person and I will never feel whole again,like I an lost,will never find myself and ask God everyday who am I and can I please have mylife back the way it was?? But I have it in my head my son is not, can't be dead so one must be hold him son were and is can't get to a phone and that he will walk back in the door and would like to know if any of you feel this way and when it gets cold I pray that he dressed warm,when it's hot I hope he is not somewere that is to hot,I just think to myself is he still smiling. I told God if my son didn't make it to heaven would he please please let him in and that I would give my happyness for God to let him in Heaven. My son was a mama's boy,I miss our goodtimes,his huge,smile and I know you all miss your angels. When my son first was killed I ran to find help,found this site ,I don't write like I use too and feel like it was to soon. but I love all you moms. God bless you all! Terry-Cedric's-Mom

I am climbing up out of the valley, with the help of you all I am feeling better, after the the second day of crying and feeling so sad and depressed I thought if I posted it might help. It did!
It seemed every thing I did or saw reminded me of My Jimmy and that he wasn't here to enjoy the spring weather, or jump on that bike and ride like the wind, or even wash his car. My heart has just been so heavy and the load was becoming to much.

"I know God won't give me more than I can handle I just wish he didn't trust me so much."
Mother Teresa

Love and Hugs
Big Jim's Mom
Shirley