I too have not posted for awhile. Like you I have found it hard to keep it together. My youngest son has been having a hard time he just broke up with his girlfriend and feels like he does not have anyone to talk to since he lost his sister she was his best friend. I have broke down so many times in the last week. You don't even need a calender to know that the day your world stopped the anniversary day your child was taken from you is coming up. I am proof that after nearly 6 years the pain is still there the loss is still there and we just learn how to live with all of it, functioning the best way we know how. I will continue to pray for you wonderful women. You are never out of my thoughts or out of my prayers.
Cindy Monica's Mom Forever
Hello Bette, I am new to this site and OMG thank the good Lord for I finally found a place where I can go and share my pain, my anger, and my grief. It is with me 24/7, and every Mother of a murdered child. It's been 7 yrs since my son Ricardo was shot down(17 xs with an AK-47). He was only 16. How do you move on from the senseless death of child--YOU DON'T!!! Most of my family seems to have moved on. I know everyone greives different, and I would never want for any one of them to have to feel as empty and broken as I feel. Hell I've even been told that I must like to stay dwelling in my pain. They just don't know!!! I use to get angry at them. Sometimes I still do. I find myself not bringing him up in conversation as much for fear of what negative feed back I might get. Now I have a place where I can vent and not feel ashamed for how I feel. Someone once told me that if I'm still grieving (daily) after 3 yrs for my son that I have crossed over into mental illness..Thank GOD for GOD. I felt like I was going crazy. Sometimes I still do,BUT I know and have accepted today that I am not crazy--they are.(LOL) For anyone to tell a Mother whose child who has been murdered the things that I've been told, "HAS GOT TO BE CRAZY" Well normally I would have apologized for going on and on, but I know here with M.O.M.S I don't have too. GOD BLESS YOU ALL--PEACE BE WITH YOU AND ALSO WITH ME. Chin up Chest Out...We are strong no matter what people say to us...Love Maribel B. (Ricardos Mom)
I'm having an especially hard time myself. I'm afraid to go to therapy, cause if this rage inside me gets out when I finally get over the denial I feel, I may not survive it. I've finally gotten my job under control and been pushing down the feelings just to keep a roof over our heads. It gets harder everyday.
My youngest moved to Ohio near where Randy died, and is getting married near Memorial Day and I'm happy for him, but still angry about the other. Don't know what to do.
Hey Crazy ONe,
It is good to hear from you and glad that the whirlwind stopped long enough so you could check in..lol. Isn't it coming up when you go down to visit Matt? How is that going? That is great the memory of sites are running virus free now if they could just get them to run without any difficulties...Well we can be patient we don't really have a choice as it is our life now. WE have to patient with everyone while we are the ones who have lost the most. Love 'n Hugs Laura & AV
Hey Laura/AV yes I get to see Matt in less than 2 weeks now. I have to fill you guys in, I've had so much going wrong lately I can't even put it into words anymore, it's just been a nightmare lately. I hope you can tell me when you will be in chat. I will send you an e-mail and let me know. The best we can all do is just hang in there, one day at a time, but these days now I just feel like freakin out and giving up. I'm almost fried up all over now, not just the brain anymore :) the rest of me is going crazy too :