Haleigh was murdered by my (Jessica Krsul) daughter's boyfriend-Dennis Peewee Creamer-on December 7, 2008. It has destroyed us. Haleigh, we called her "Booger Butt" was our life, she was only 2 yearsold. She was born Nov.28,2006.That monster brutally beat my baby girl to death. He is currently in jail in Bay County, Florida in Panama City awaiting trial. He is charged with Premeditated First Degree Murder and Felony Child Abuse. We are seeking the Death Penalty. I can not tell you how much this has destroyed us. Our hopes and dreams and our life was taken from us and I don't know how to keep going some days. No one understands the pain, that is why I am here to seek help and hope. Please help me through this. My daughter and I are having a very difficult time coping.We need some one that understands our pain to talk to.
Thank You
Maw and Mommy

We are so sorry for your loss. Words will never be able to express our sorrow for this horrific tragedy...You and your daughter have come to the right place. There are so many caring moms here that will be able to help you. Through help with the legal system to just listening to you vent about the monster who did this to your beautiful Haleigh. We have the board which you have found but also a chat room which is more personable where you can talk privately. We understand your pain, anger, loss, frustration, etc. We never look forward to new "members" but are always glad when our site has been found so that you know that you will not be alone. Once again we are so sorry for your loss. Love & Hugs Laura & AV

Carla,

I am so sorry for the loss of your little granddaughter. I have 3 granddaughters and just don't know what I would do if something ever happened to one of them. Like Laura & AV have said we sure don't like seeing new moms or grandmas come to this site but are so glad you found us. We are always here to help you on this rough and rocky road you are now traveling along with us all. It's kinda of like the old saying united we stand divided we fall. The moms here have helped me so much over the last 15 months I don't know where I would be without them.
Love and Hugs to you and your daughter.
You can also email any of us at anytime.
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley

omg...I'm so very sorry for your loss...I have 8 grandchildren...2 that I haven't even seen yet...I lost my son...I know the feeling of loss...But to lose an infant like that...What can a baby do that can anger someone that bad... My prayers are with you and your daughter... I know that MOMS will help you cope...It's done a great deal for all who have given it a chance...I know that it will take some time to get to know who you can trust...But, know this, the moms that come to this site have all been broken hearted in the worst way...we all know what it feels like to not want to wake up each day...But, somehow we all know that we have many shoulders to lean on when we need it...I send you hugs (cuz sometimes it helps a little).

Carla, like the other MOMS I am so sorry that you had to find us but so glad you did. This group has been a life saver for me when I thought I couldn't go another day. My daughter was murdered on July 1, 2008. This is a life that is now filled with pain all the time. Even things that should be happy never can be again. There is always the taint of loss to remind us that things will never be the same. I am pretty independent and like to handle things myself, but this is one road that you cannot walk alone. You need the support of people who understand and will be there to hold you up when you are not strong enough. Please come and let us help support you and your daughter. I am just so so sorry and I cannot imagine how awful that must be for you. A precious baby is so innocent and I hope that this monster gets the death penalty for his horrendous act.

I cry every night and every morning. Nights are the worst I uswually cry myself to sleep. My fiancee Timmy is so heartbroken he can't even talk about it thus I can't talk to him. I dread waking each morning I look at her pictures and sink into a different world I have no tolerance for people that complain about trivial problems any more I have lost my compassion I get angry at people when they say "it can't get any worse" I just wnat to scream at them and shake them and let them know oh yes it can get worse you have no idea, people that cry over their car breaking down or their job not going like theywant it to or their mate not doing their part, this all to me is trivial I;m rambling I;ve gone to dr.s they put me on pills that space me out i have stopped taking them i want a clear head to try to face this head on i don;t know if i have made the right decision i have to be strong for my daughter it seems that she is the only person i can be strong for i can't be strong around other people so i avoid other people and spend most of my time with Jessie i'm so scared of loosing her too i couldn't bear it i fins myself being probably over protective of her and maybee smothering her but i can't help it this pain is very fresh will it ever get to be bearable i am not the same person i was before this happened and neither is my daughter we don't trust other people especially men the only men she trust are Timmy who has been like a Father to my children he is wonderful Booger Butt was his heart and soul and jessie's grandfather Booger Butt was his princess and his only greatgrandchild she was my only grandchild since she's gone am i still a grandmaw i loved being a grandma i feel so lost and without purpose

Carla, YES!! You are STILL a grandma. You are a grandma to an angel now, but still a grandma. When people ask me how many kids I have now I always say two, one here and one in heaven. I remember feeling a panic early on when I thought about how would I answer that question because she was still my baby. Reading your post reminds me of how I feel many days. You are not alone in how you feel. I feel the same. This puts things in perspective. Things I once thought life shattering I find out aren't anymore. I think we all have to deal with people who just don't get that and in all fairness, I didn't get it either until now. It is something no one can understand until they face it and we don't want them to have to face it since it will mean they lost their child too. I know that even for the holidays I couldn't go in the grocery store. I tried and left my basket because I could not deal with all the people who seemed to be excited about the holiday. I wanted to scream at them that my child was gone and how dare they enjoy their holiday. I started avoiding people and to some extent I still do. Thankfully at work I can hide in my corner and cry. Our lives changed forever. We don't get to just go on as normal. Our normal changed. Everyday is hard and we have to find a way to learn to keep going on when we don't want to. I have done a lot of screaming "WHY? WHY MY CHILD?" I believe in God and I know he answers my prayers. I was praying so hard for Kaylin when she died. When I heard she died I thought, God, I prayed so hard, why did you take her? Now I know it was not God who took her. Evil took her, but God reached down and brought her home. I know she is safe now but it doesn't stop me from wanting her here. I know God understands my pain and that he is big and strong enough to let me cry and scream. Sorry, I think we all tend to get rambly here. Keep coming here and let us help you through. You will find that we all understand and reading your posts I found myself thinking I know exactly what she means because I felt it too. We are all at different phases on this road. Life is different for us now. Keep coming and tell us about your precious Booger Butt. :) Tell us who she was and share your memories of her with us. When you are ready we would love to know who she was and what she was like. We are here.

Carla
Like Kim when anyone asks how many children I have I always say 2 one here and my Jimmy in heaven. Yes take it from another grandma you are definitely still a grandma. It has been 15 months since my son was murdered and I am not the same person I use to be. I smile on the outside and scream on the inside. Some days I am either crying or on the verge of crying all day. I am on meds they help me keep my sanity I have tried a couple of times to get off of them but I just can't cope. We all know how you feel and exactly what you are going through and we will all be here to help you through.
Love and Hugs
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley

Dear Carla
I am so sorry for you and your family's loss of precious Haleigh.I will never understand the human race and the evil in men's hearts.No punishment would be good enough for this scum bag that robbed you of your future.I have no words of comfort for you, I'm sorry Carla.I do know that your daughter and your boyfriend need you now more than ever just as you need them.This is a great place to go when you want to be yourself and not have to worry about staying strong for the family's sake.This pain is enough to drive you crazy,so try your best to let it all out or you will go crazy.That's what we are here for.We understand and feel your pain and truly care about you and your family.Kim said alot of the things that I feel daily.It is one second at a time and you almost congratulate yourself when the day is done and you can breathe I made it another day.I will be praying for you and your family especially your daughter during these difficult months ahead.May God Bless you and send some peace and comfort your way. Love and many many hugs to you Barb

Mark chapter 10 vs 13-16

13:And they brought young children to Him,that He should touch them;and His disciples rebuked those that brought them.

14:But when Jesus saw it,He was much displeased,and said unto them,Suffer the little children to come unto me,and forbid them not;for of such is the Kingdom of God

15:Verily I say unto you,Whosoever shall not recieve the kingdom of God as a little child,he shall not enter therein

16:And He took them up in His arms,put His hands upon them,and blessed them.

Another day of crying. The monster had court in Feb. and pled "not guilty" after he confessed and did a recreation of what he did to her. it is what he did to her that i can not deal with and haunts my days and nights i have nightmares, i did last night it (the monster) has court again this Wed mar. 18 to pick judge or jury it's going to put us through a trial as court dates get closer i don't deal well with anything we live in WV and court is in FL it is a long hard trip financially and emotionally we are not traveling for court this month we went in Feb when he pled it is very hard for me to talk about Haleigh right now she was so perfect we talked to a reporter in panama city about her and he did an article about her he did a wonderful job

This has been the worst year of my life. We are going to trial on Feb.22. Today the Judge DeeDee Costello threw out his second confession-the one he told the truth in- the first confession is still in he lied in that one. It is a shame that the jury will never be presented with the truth. I hope we get an intelligent jury that can see through his lies and can see what a monster he is. I am so angry that these monsters suddenly have more "rights" the moment they are put behind bars. After what it did to MY BABY it should not have any rights except the right to a painful long death. Physically and emotionally I have been falling apart this past year. It does not get better it gets worse the only difference is I have figured out how to live through a day and sometimes I don't want to. I have come very close to joining my Baby I think of it every day. I stay around for my children Jessie(Haleigh's Mom), Jackie and Daniel. I worry what will happen to them if I am gone, because of all the pain we have suffered this past year I worry about them. I try to stay strong in front of them to give them strength, but I don't know how much longer I can keep doing it, I am growing tired.

Carla
We all know about this so called justice system and have experienced the same thing when it comes to the rights those murdering POSs get. I don't believe any jury hears all the true facts, one thing in your case the defense attorney will not be able to try to turn your little grand baby into the villain, that is what has happened to most of us that have been through a trial. Blame the victim. You are so right it doesn't get better but we do learn how to live with the pain. Please keep us informed how things go through the trial that SOB deserves nothing better than the death penalty and even that isn't enough for what he has done.
Sending Love and Hugs to you and your family
Jimmy's Mom

Carla, I am so sorry for your loss. I am a grandmother too and I know that if one of my grandchildren were murdered I would be beside myself. My daughter Keara was murdered by he boyfriend on April 5, 2006. I ageree with you that things just seem to get worse. This is such a nightmare to live through. I am glad you found us. The Moms are the only people that really understand this kind of pain. We also have a chatroom and usually there are Moms there starting at 8;30 or 9;00 pm eastern standard time. This is a place that you can feel free to express your views without judgement from others. Love ya, Darien

I am so sorry for your loss. You have found a wonderful place to come to. Though we all do not like to see new comers here, but I feel blessed that I found this site myself. My son (whose name is Timmy) was 15 y/o when he was shot execution style walking home from the store. They were after the guy he was with (my oldest sons friend) and killed my son because he was a "witness" and knew them. It took 14 months to have an arrest and now I still wait for a trial. We have one scheduled for November of this year. Yes 2 years we wait since the arrest, it will be 3 1/2 years when trial comes, hopefully we don't get postponements, etc. because we all see that happen. you are right that they seem to get so many more rights than our babies do, they did not get to postpone their sentence? I get so angry sometimes I could scream. I cry all the time, I'm a mess I have 2 older sons and they are also falling apart I feel like I am not good to anyone anymore. He was my baby, I miss him so much, my heart is forever broken. I have no grandchildren but I know my Timmy used to joke all the time with us telling us when he got married he wanted 4 kids, yes it's funny hearing that from a boy, a teenager no less, how many kids he wants when he got married and now I'll never ever see that, they took so much away from us, so much he was so young. And your baby, God I'll never understand it, how anyone can hurt anyone let alone a little helpless baby!!! God bless you and keep you always. Please know that you have found a safe haven here, my mom's have kept me going, we all need to for our children otherwise I don't know if I would have made it this far. My son was killed on 7/13/07, it was a Friday the 13th.

Bette
Timmy's mom

Aloha Carla, I am so sorry that you too now know this nightmare of life. I can't imagine how anyone is capable of harming such beautiful innocence. My son Chris had just met his 5 1/2 month old nephew ,my 1st grandson Ezra days before his father, after a day of his usual drinking, shot him 8 times Yesturday was 14 months without my Chris,He would have been 29 this Feb 23. I keep trying to get to the spiritual side but it's hard getting past that it's actually happened, we had no say and now we have live with this life. Ezra is our light so I know Haleigh's light can't help but shine through...the love is still here. Again I am so sorry for your pain Love to you, your daughter and your family