My Dear Bobbie,
there is not ANYONE on this Earth that can tell you what the right way to handle your child being murdered. Not even us fellow MOMS, each of us have got to get through this however we can. There are so many people who offer advice but they are the ones handling things wrong by judging you for your way you chose to SURVIVE. We all must know by know how many really SMART people are out there that know exactly how to handle the Murder of their child but yet they are not the ones having to handle it. My church is where my daughter was a member and where she was baptised and where her children and parents are members and yet they have not stepped up to say Let's support the Safe House. And it really makes me feel bad when everyone else's church supports the Safe House EXCEPT mine. So another example of people who just don't get it. Just do what you need to do for yourself and remember you are loved and prayed for by all of us who really do know your pain. Sending you love and prayers!!!!!!!!!
Cindy Monica's Mom
Dear Bobbie I'm so sorry that others feel the need to tell you how to handle your son's death.I personally don't count on anyone or anything ,churches included.I do however count on the Lord to help me thru this as I know He knows my pain,and has promised never to leave or forsake me.Hold on to those friends who will listen and not offer their take on things,they are rare but worth their weight in gold.Of course it goes without saying that we will always be here for you.God Bless, my prayers are with you.Many Many hugs your way Love Barb
Like the others said there is no right way for any part of this and how would anyone else even begin to know our pain and what we have left of our lives. That is very nice that you were trying to help the moms..it is discouraging that others try and tell you what you should do. My counselor forgave her daughters murderer and said she was shunned by POMC and when interviewed for the Oprah magazine they printed another story..one who didn't forgive the murderer. I was even told others would not return to her when they found out she had forgiven the man that murdered her daughter. I was so offended when they felt that was necessary to tell me that...What difference does it make what she had to do to pick up the pieces from this devastation and who am I to judge...She never judges me when I am so angry and vengeful towards the killer and the doctors who let him out of the hospital. How do I know the day won't come when I feel I might need to forgive the murderer..I can't imagine that ever happening but then again I could never ever imagine I would be making funeral arrangements for my daughter on her 19th Birthday. As my counselor says...only keep those who are helping you on your team..if they aren't than you need to "boot" them off. Save your energy to get to the next day and focus on the important things and don't let the others make you question yourself for what you need to do to survive. All of us are always here for you and just an email or a phone call away and will be there. All of our Love...Laura & AV
Never ever let anyone tell you how to handle what you are going through. Most of the time it is people who have not a clue as to what each and every one of us is going through. I also wear shirts with my son's picture I have a picture of him on the dash of my (his) car so I take him with me all the time.
Love and Hugs