My Niece called me at 5:50pm she was crying and screaming that Benita had called her and told her John had been kidnapped or something. I couldn't understand what she was talking about. I said, say it again Diane,say it again. She said they kidnapped John and killed him. I said Uncle John or his son? She said his son, JD. That was when the pain and fear first entered my heart. I hung up and called my brother John. He was beyond himself. I was hysterical at this point. I kept saying over and over what happened? What happened? He said, My boys dead, they killed my boy, they beat him, tied his legs together and strangled him with his dogs chain. The image of John entered, there was more fear and more pain.
Can't go on,,,,,,,,tomorrow is one year
HI PATRICIA,I AM SO SORRY,I WISH I COULD TAKE THE PAIN AWAY!!MY HEART IS WITH U AND YOUR FAMILY,I REMEMBER WHEN I GOT MY NIGHTMARE PHONE CALL,MY SON WAS MISSING FOR 3 DAY'S,AND WHEN I FINALLY GOT TO N.O. I WALK INTO A BAD DREAM,AND TODAY I STILL HAVEN'T WOKE UP FROM THE DREAM,REALLY A NIGHTMARE FROM HELL,MY TONY WAS KIDNAPPED ALSO,BEATEN AND SHOT IN THE NECK AND LEFT IN THE WOOD'S LIKE A DOG TO DIE,SO BELIEVE ME I UNDERSTAND!MY LIFE HAS BEEN AT A STAND STILL,I SHUT EVERYBODY OUT MY WORLD,AND I KNOW THAT'S NOT RIGHT,AT TIMES I WANT TO GIVE UP ON LIFE,BUT MY 2 SON'S GIVE ME STRENGH TO GO ON!!PATRICIA I KNOW IT'S HARD,SO HARD,SO MUCH EVIL IN THIS WORLD,I PRAY THJAT YOU AND YOUR FAMILY FIND PEASE,HUG'S ALWAY'S!!
Patricia,the stories of how we all got to this point are all different but they all end the same with us left to try to find a way to go on inspite of the pain.I am so sorry for what happened to John it is just unthinkable.I pray justice(such as it is)will come swifty for him.You know you are in our thoughts & prayers.Be strong for him.I know he loves & misses you very much!!
Patricia I am so sorry for your pain. I know it well and I wouldn't wish the pain we feel on anyone. We shouldn't have to feel it either, but because someone else decided this for us we have to hurt more then we think is possible. I wish I could take the hurt away for you. I wish that for all of us. I will be praying for you tomorrow.
I wish I knew what to say to make you feel better, but there is no words or anything that will. Just know that you are in my prayers and all the mom's here too are with you, you are not alone. Remembering that day will never leave you, we all know this, the pain is unbearable. Just try to stay strong I know it's easy to say.
Although it is the evil of others that has left us with these terrible memories, their evil can not take the wonderful memories we have away.
When these terrible memories come to me I try (and sometimes succeed) to think of that last weekend we had together just one week before Jim's murder. We had such a great time with family and friends cutting Christmas trees. And Jim as usual was his dare devil self riding on a sled being pulled down a snowy road by his cousin Jamie.
Try to think of a wonderful memory you have of John and hang on to that today.
Love and Hugs
I had no I dea I would relive this nightmare, over and over and over all day long. I came to work at noon. I wasn't going to come in at all, shouldn't have. I wrote to John (my brother) John's dad. He is in prison for trying to kill the bast-ard who killed his son. I want to thank you Mom's for all your support. My heart feels like it did that day. John's mother was screaming on the phone. She wasn't talking just screaming and making horrible sounds like she couldn't breath. When she would try to talk it would sound like (like when you breath helium and it makes your voice squeak) She said, When I got home the door was open, I called John cause I knew he should be here. I went up stairs, he was on the floor, blood on his mouth and under his nose, I said John, John and I tried to wake him up I said John, John wake up baby, his face was blue, his feet were tired with his sweater, his eyes were opened just a little bit and his ear was black. My John is dead, he's dead, they killed him, I didn't even see the chain until I moved him. Then screaming, screaming, screaming.......
I hate today
Oh this is so horrible, the reliving over and over again.Like Shirley said try to concentrate on the last good memory you have of John.I agree this does help with the unbearable moments.Try to stay strong in these dark hours dear Patricia and feel our hugs to you ((((((hugs)))))) God Bless and take care,I pray for peace and some comfort for you and John's family Love Barb