I thought that no one knows my pain and sorrow, unless they have gone through what I went through. But when I came accross this website, I could not believe that there are so many moms that have gone through what I have gone through. God led me to this web-site, I know it because I have been in so much pain and have been crying and just going through so much that words cannot describe it. But after seeing that there are so many momes that share my pain, I felt like this was the right place for me. I just want to thank you ladies for helping me to try and understand all of this, of course I still don't but just being a part of this web-site, helps a lot.
I felt the same way when I found this site Deborah. It is a lifesaver. You are right, no one can know unless they experience it and you never want another mom to feel this pain. It is a pain that rocks you to your very core. I miss Kaylin so much. I want her back so badly. The pain is overwhelming most days and the days it isn't are the days I live in denial (ex: she is at a friends, she is out and will be back later) a lot of days I feel like I stuff the pain because if I don't I feel like I will truly lose my mind. A normal activity can be invaded with the thought, "she isn't here anymore" and it will send me reeling. There is this huge hole in our lives now and nothing can fill it. We learn to live with it. Some days I have cried out that I am though with this and want my daughter back. I don't want to feel this anymore, but we do and we have no choice. Thank God we have each other. These women give me hope that I can and will survive. They understand and they do not minimize my pain when the waves rush over me. I am so grateful for this group.
Dear Deborah
God Bless you that you did find this site.It is a life line for all of us.It took me 7 months to find it and I wish I had known about it sooner.I couldn't bring myself to go to a stranger to tell them of my heartache.After all what could a stranger who hasn't lost their child tell me about my feelings.The thought of it angered me but I knew I was sinking fast.So I googled what I was" Mother of murdered child".We had a title,and I will be a MOM forever.I thank God for the MOMS every day of my life.I don't need an appointment,it's free and someone will always respond to you with just the right theraputic words to get you through a crisis.Unfortunately there are many many who feel exactly how I do,so sometimes we just cry together,like now.Me and my tissue box (my best friend these days).Crying for you,me, other moms who are in pain.All tears are not bad.It is a release for us.A watering of God's garden so to say.Some days when I'm not crying it's another mothers turn to water the garden.In a poem I read it states that there would be no flowers without the rain.Everyone looks at things differently I choose to think I'm making something beautiful out of a bad situation.Well we are all here for you whether to talk,cry,get a cyber hug or rant and scream.This is the place that God sent me to.Many Many hugs and prayers your way.God Bless Barb
I feel the same way, MOM's are my lifesavers. I can come here and cry and vent and anything and say anything without being judged. We know the pain, others don't. So glad you found a "safe" place, because this is how I feel here, safe. and so many great mom's, wish we met a different way, but God has a reason and a plan.
Deborah
I found this site very soon after the murder of my son but it took me a couple of months before I started posting. I find so much love here with all the moms my sister moms. I say sister moms because I feel like we are family caring and sharing. We will always be here for you.
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley
Sending Hugs your way
