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It's John's Birthday, I'm busted up inside. I can't talk to Chris again, Oscar is Drunk and she works all the time. He told me not to go to the trial. I think it was to start the 6th. I want to die.
oh patricia,hold on,for god is with you,i am deeply sorry for so much pain,i wish your angel a beautiful b-day in heaven,again i wish u many hug's and kisses today!!hug's
Thank you all for signing Johns web. So many of you.
I wish all fo this was just a dream. I wish we could get him back. I remember the last time I heard his voice. One year ago today. He got a cake for his birthday and Icecream. They took him out to eat Mexican food and as always according to JoJo his order got messed up, but he was ok with it. It was like a joke with him. Every time he ordered something it would be missing something or the wrong thing or made wrong. He said it happened that way because his body knwe what he should have. He really never made an issue of it other thatn I bet it's wrong again. then laugh really hard when he got his order and said, " Whad I tell ya" He's just laugh and eat whatever they gave him and leave a good tip. My God I miss him, every day but especially today because I know it would be his day, his day to do whatever he wanted, eat whatever he wanted and open his gifts and be totally happy with them, He always said, it's exactly what I was wishing for. Thank you.
I'm crying to hard
Patricia
Sending a Great Big Hug to you and wishing John a very HAPPY HEAVENLY BIRTHDAY.
These are the days we grieve the most and miss our loved ones more than ever, because they should be here enjoying their day. All of our angels will be having another party seems they have been partying a lot lately.
Love to you
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley
Dear Patricia,
I know the pain you feel, we all sincerely do. Just hold on and take one day at a time. My baby b/d was New Year's Eve, it's bad enough to miss a b/d but on a holiday?? Double whammy for me and my family. Please know that you are not alone and we will always be here for you no matter what. The holidays and b/d's are the hardest ever, and I cannot say it will get any easier as for me, they haven't, we just find each day to live thru it somehow.
Take care of yourself, John would want that, he would not want to see you so sad.
God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom
OH....PATRICIA, I AM SOOO SORRY THAT YOU ARE IN SOOOO MUCH PAIN AND I KNOW HOW HARD SOME DAYS ARE. JUST HANG IN THERE AND I AM SENDING YOU HUGS AND PRAYERS....HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JOHN YOU ARE SOOO LOVED AND MISSED....LOVE YOU SWEET ANGEL.....LOVE YOU TOO PATRICIA
You Mom's are so wonderful. My God, every one of you know how I feel. Everyone of you knows what to say to ease the pain, Every one of you can understand what it means. Everyone of you are loved by me because I need you all so bad to be there for me and Everyone of you can bet if you need me too, I'll be there.
My tears are for all the Children. Ricky, Dwayne, Matthew, Monica, Timmy, Leah, Keara, Andre, Joey, Hubert, Eugene, Jimmy, Kaylin,Taelor, Wesley, Lisa, Billy, Josh, Cedric, Brandon, Phillip, Tony, Michael, Mark, and John my love. So so many more I hope and pray they are in some kind of group in Heaven and they are together like we are. Telling us how much they love us and miss us as we do them.
HI PATRICIA,JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU THAT WE ARE ONE BIG FAMILY,YOU ARE NEVER ALONE,YES WE ALL KNOW THE PAIN,WE LIVE IT EACH DAY,WE ARE BOND TOGHTER THROUGH THE LOSS OF OUR CHILDREN,I HOPE U TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME TO FIND SOME PEASE,I'M HERE AND EVERY MOM ON MOM'S ARE HERE FOR YOU,HUG'S ALWAY'S!!
Hey Patricia
take a deep breath and put one foot in front of the other and do what you feel like doing. That may be falling out in the floor crying, or lying in the bathtub with candles and memories and sweet tears over your loss. Believe you me I have done it all. Even began speaking in tongues in my grief. (never had that happen, thought people were fakin when I heard it before) Grief takes us to new and strange places at least me anyway and birthdays and the holidays are the worst. All us moms are so good at holding it inside that sooner or later you have to let go. So I say do what you need to, to get some of that out or you will bust up inside and out. Hang tight the ride is scary and then we get to a valley level for awhile before the next hill comes up.
luv ya
Kay
