I need to rant. I can't wait til tonite at the chatroom. But I'll probably repeat alot of it there. I don't even care if I don't make any sense, I just need somebody to hear me. First of all, I'm stuck up here in Nebraska and I dont know anyone, so I have no friends that I can actually look at while I talk. My kids are far away. My oldest daughter is in Nevada, I tried to call her and her phone is shut off. She has a new baby that I havent even seen yet. Megan and Bradley Jr are both in Branson, and Megan has a new baby that I havent seen yet either. This is the first time we havent been together for Xmas. I have no tree, no presents, no plans for dinner. It's just me and Brad, and he has to work. I miss Jeremy so **** much I can't stand it, and I miss my mom. I know that she would have thrown something together, no matter what, she was good at that. I drove Brad to work today, and on my way back, I started giggling, for no apparent reason. I can't cry. I dont know why. I've been feeling this come for a few days, but I've been ignoring it. I just feel like...BLAAAAAHHHHH!!! Don't worry, I'm not thinking of doing anything stupid. I know that this to will pass. It's just the right now that is weighing down on me. Ok, I think I'm done... Thank you for listening. I'll be fine.
I wish I could hop on a plain and come right out there so you could pick on me in person and then you wouldn't be able to hide behind all those silly nicknames!!!!But I can't and I have been thinking of you all day...AV asked me if anything had changed with your kids and I see that hasn't I am sorry...After the clan leaves tonight I will try and get on...And you always know my number and better yet...I KNOW YOURS....IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE!...One way or another I will be talking to you kiddo..Hang in there...If I had my costume I could fly out there myself...Who was in charge of that detail anyway?...
Oh Julie, (if that IS your real name LOL ) I am so sorry that you are feeling so bad. I will try my hardest to make it to chat room tonight too. I am trying to make myself get everything ready for Jared tonight and tomorrow. I feel like I really suck at being a mom for him right now. Are Megan and Bradley Jr. going to be able to spend Christmas together this year? I will get on some way tonight. Hang on lady. Hang on.