Haver any of you ever written a letter to the person who murdered your child? I don't know why but lately I have felt like it even though he showed absolutely no remorseI want him to know the devastation he has caused our family and the horror that her children live with, the questions they ask, the visions they have in their heads about what happened to their mama. On the other hand I think he might not even read it or care and that I shouldn't even bother to waste my time or energy. What do you think?
I think if you feel you want to write a letter you do it. He will read it the only thing is that just might open the door for him to write back to you. And a letter from the POS just might have things written in it to hurt you and cause you more pain. Tough decision to make.
Love and Hugs
I know what you mean about feeling the need to tell him how you feel. I have felt that way alot. I knew Jeremys killer. She was his girlfriend, and we knew her pretty well(we thought). I have written letter after lengthy letter. But I never mail them. I don't know why, but I just cant bring myself to mail them. Once, I even got it into an envelope...with a stamp and everything...but then I tore it up. I hope you have better luck than I did.
It might make you fell better to write the letter, but like Shirley said he may write back and it may hurt. Are you ready if that happens? You could always write it and then have it ready so if you decided to mail it you can. There is a real possibility that he will not care. Let's face it if these scum cared about others then they would not have taken their lives. I know our scum doesn't care just the way he acts so a letter to him would prbly not make a difference. You do what is best for you. If the letter is needed FOR you to get some satisfaction and you are not expecting him to feel anything then go ahead. If getting those feelings out for you helps you and you understand that he could write back or not care then you have nothing to lose. It is a tough decision.
I'm not even sure why I want to write to him. I guess for him to feel guilty and thanks. but I didn't even think about him writing me back. I would hate that!! I don't want to hear from him at all. As some of you said and I beleive , if he cared he wouldn't have killed her in the first place. I guess I will need to think long and hard about it. When I think about the letter I honestly don't even know where I would begin. This is a very tough decision and in the past the urge has just been fleeting but lately I almost feel obsessive about it. Maybe the holidays have made me feel so completely raw again. Has anyone ever written AND sent a letter?
I thought of it, believe me. But I'd get arrested for what I'd say in it!!!! They dont want to get a letter from me that's for sure.
But the thought has passed my mind many times.
I have thought about it Darien. I want to know why. Why did you not get her help? Why did you sit there and watch the life ebb out of her and do nothing? Why did you dump her? Why did you scatter her things and where are they? Why Why Why? But I see this scum in court and he is so arrogant that I know in my heart that writing him would not make him feel remorse for what he did. He only thinks of himself. I do not believe that he has a heart. I know a letter might make me feel better but it would mean nothing to him because it would mean taking responsibility for his actions and actually giving a **** about someone other then his rotten self. If it makes you feel better write the letter. If you need to actually go through the steps of mailing it then mail it to one of us. Then maybe you can have a completeness to what you feel. You can write and get it off your chest and say what you need to, mail it to him, and not worry about him writing you back. It might be a symbolic gesture to let go of some of your pain. Just a thought.
Like you I have wanted to write so many times, in fact I had contacted and was workiing with a group Restoritive Justice, on the chance I could even meet with one of the boys. They ran into legal issues and that ended. There are so many things I wanted this young man to know, I wanted him to know the impact of his actions, as if he would care. I wanted him to know I sat by the phone every Sunday waiting for my Wes, to call, to hear his voice to be able to answer his "Hey what you guys up to" The only contact I had with Wes, his voice his goofy laugh, his tender way of saying "It'll be okay mom" I wanted to let him know that he killed my son for nothing NOTHING. What he stole from my son wasn't even his. The van he dumped my son's body in was his bosses the stuff he stole out of his house wasn't his house wasn't his stuff but his bosses. Did he know that in three short weeks he'd have been on the mainland visiting his mom, his brother, his nephews.
I have written letters and put them with the newspaper articles, with the work list Wes, left on the fridge. I have pictured many times what I would say to him in a face to face but it has never happened and likely never will. There will never be those answers and I will like you always wonder why!!!!!!!!!
Peace be with us all
With love and light and loss