I used to love this time of year,
The carols being sung.
The tree all decorated,
All the stockings hung.

I used to love this time of year,
Hot cocoa in a mug,
Watching Christmas specials
All cuddled nice and snug.

I used to love this time of year,
The gift wrap on the floor.
Happy children laughing,
A wreath hung on the door.

I used to love this time of year,
But since you went away,
My life has changed forever,
And I don't love it anymore.

Hi Kim,
I love this poem. It is so true. I used to love this time of year too. Not no more. :-( I have been getting so much anxiety lately. Gene's birthday is coming up. And Christmas is scaring the hell out of me. I don't know if I am going to be able to deal with it this year. It is just so much harder this year. My prayers are always with you. Take care and God bless you.

Kim,
How true all the words ring. The black hole I thought I saw a light shining into when the chat room arrived has started to darken again and I feel like it is swallowing me up with the kick off of the holidays. Together we will all get through them somehow. I don't know the answer how the same as each night when I go to bed I don't know how I am going to make it another day. But some good advice from the chatroom was exactly that each day, one at a time, we will get through them. The moms that have been around awhile will show us the strength they have to have survived and we will follow their lead. It does however look like "kimi" material. A picture you might have could be placed on the "blank" canvas and then you can copy and paste that in the text area by accessing the clip board on the kimi page. Just a thought...always in our thoughts. Laura & AV

Laura. do you feel up to putting it on what you envision? I still can only add pictures. :( I hope you will do a tutorial thread soon.

Kim,
I love your comment about inspector 21...you are not right! Anyway send me a picture to my email, because we all know we can't email you--lol, and I will do one to show you or you can call me on the phone--you still have my number I hope when you are ready and you can walk through it. I know you can do it you made a video and a myspace! Talk to you later you nutcase.
Laura

Dear Kim I love your poem.I started to try to write one yesterday to put in the sp review for christmas but I kept writing a line putting the pen down over and over again.Your words are exactly how each of us MOMS feel I'm sure ,and it is so true.No warm fuzzy feeling,no joy looking at past ornaments our children made or were bought thru the years.Just utter sadness and despair.You have helped me thru some difficult days along with the other MOMS who are so honest and genuine in their concern for one another.Keep writing and reaching out you are helping all of us more than you know.With much Love and Many HugsBarb/Nicky's MOM

Laura I had all those comments on there way before this happened and I forgot about them. I rarely go on my myspace but I wanted her slideshow somewhere. :)
Thank you all for the nice compliments. Sometimes at work I get feeling so down and I can't scream there so I write a quick thought and hope it comes out ok. Everyone is looking forward to the holidays and I am looking forward to them being over. I know you all understand and feel the same. It is hard enough to put a people face on for everyday things and now to have to try to put one on so we are not labeled scrooges on top of everything else. I just want the holidays over.

No one can email me? I didn't know that. I have gotten emails from Laura. Did you never get my responses? I will empty out some space and tell my MIL to not email me all the pictures I can't see anyway. I think it takes all my space.

Kim
I love your poem, I also use to love this time of year. For me not only Christmas but Jimmy's angel day is the 16th and I am going crazy thinking about it. Yesterday at work I just kept thinking last year at this time Jim was alive, last year at this time he only had two weeks to live. This will be my 2nd Christmas without Jimmy although last year is just a blur. This is the first year the reality has sunk in and it hurts like hell.
Hugs Jimmy's mom Shirley

This poem says it. There are things and times I used to love but it is different now. I also try for my other children and grandchildren but everything is tinged with sadness. Also since Keara's murder a lot of my relationships with family and friends have changed. Some people can be so unsupportive and say all the wrong things!! I agree with your husband. If they don't understand then who needs them. Luckily I have made many new friends. I miss Keara too. I wnat her to be here and it is so hard to just have memories and photos. It is hard to see her children growing up without her and trying to understand why and how this could happen. I guess there are no good nswers to that question. The guy who killed Keara is in prison but it doesn't change the fact that she is not here and won't be. I try to think about him as little as possible except to wish him the worst. Actually I just want him to be dead too. I am glad to have made it through Thanksgiving and now here comes Christmas. I will be glad when the holidays are over since I don't feel like celebrating!! I want to just hibernate!! I don't know how we do it but we just continue. We are stronger than we think. Love you. Darien

I keep trying to feel better.
I give up.
I love your poem. You know what, my heart feels heavy, it's horrible. I kept thinking maybe cause I'm getting so fat. I hate it, thanksgiving now Christmas, I thought I was the only one now I see it's all of us. Man, I can't even listen to the radio in the car! Jingle Bells my @ss! I hope the murderers in jail are suffering, I hope their heart hurts worse than Mine. I hope they get nasty cold food, I hope they don't get lights or decorations, I hope they can't watch TV of get visitors, I hope they **** their beds and lay in it.
OH YEAH!!!!!! I feel so much better!!!!!!!!!!!!
**** I'm mean!