I am so dreading the holidays. It seems that everyone in my family is angry with each other. In the last 2 1/2 years, Keara was murdered, my mom died , my brother in law died and now my Dad is dying. I would love to just crawl into a cave somewhere and hibernate for the winter. I feel so exhausted and sad that at a time when the family should be close it is just the opposite. Bah Humbug!!!
Hey Darien,
I know what you are feeling and I know the crawl in the cave wish. Just hang in there and enjoy your grandkids and daugter who is coming down to see you, nobody else matters.Those who don't understand what we are going through and have gone through have abviously not been there, lucky them. You would enjoy the chat room, it's a place where we can love and support each other and be totally nuts for awhile without the judgement of others.
love to you and yours
I totally agree with the chatroom idea. Even when you find yourself having one of THOSE days, the chatroom can make it seem to go away. Even if it's only for awhile. It's good for the heart to really let go.
Darien I feel so bad that your family is upset with each other. It makes it harder. {{{hugs}}}.
I don't want to do Thanksgiving at all but I will for my son. I did tell my husband in his thankful letter to our son he should tell him he is thankful for him because without him he would not be eating turkey this year. ;) On a serious note, last night we went to buy all the groceries for the meal and I found myself just wanting to walk away from the buggy and leaving. I just felt like there was a scream from deep within my heart that was yelling, I CAN"T DO THIS!!!! I don't want to do this. I want to just forget the holidays this year but I can't. So for my son I will. Tomorrow I will have to remember that HE needs me and that I have to make things as normal as I can for him, but I will be taking my "breaks" to go cry. I can't bear the thought of a holiday that I won't see her face or hear her tell me that everything is good, and ask me if I remembered to make the cherry fluff for her. Last night I was reminded again how our lives have changed. A simple trip to the grocery store is not even that any more.
