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I just got off the phone with Chris, the crying was really bad but, she feels like she has lost JoJo. Oscar kicked him out and JoJo has a real drinking problem, NOthing like mine, not at all. He wants to die, he saw John right after they murdered him and it's been a nightmare for him ever since. The whole family actually. Chris has tried everything, he was in and out of the rehab, Then they said he is bipolar, he cuts himself and says it was suppose to be him that got killed and he wants to be with John.
Oscar told Chris to hang up the phone and I asked her to let me talk to him, I told him to please let Me call and talk when I needed to talk to Chris. I begged him and was as nice as I could be. For me to be nice was,,,,,,,,,,, trust me,,,, I'm really not very nice when I dislike someone. I'm a vicious person. He said she gets too upset and I told him her son is dead, she had to sent Jo to Holbrook and now he messed up and David said one more chance. They called me to have me talk to Jo Jo like,,,, what,,,
what the heck could I say, of course I talked to him he's mine JoJo the same little boy I've loved since he was born. David said we have to see if my talking to him has helped because if not they are taking him to a halfway house in Phoenix. I just wish he was ok, I wish none of this ever happened. Chris works two jobs just to keep busy and not think. she did say that it's not looking good in the court she said the murderers have 25 witnesses. What,,,, witness to what. It's a big crock of doo doo they are liars. Cicero strangled my John and killed him. I hope he rots in HHHeeellllll! I hate him!
I'm sorry again, when I hear Chris cry, I fall apart, I literally fall apart. The worse part is I feel so helpless, I can't do anything, all I can do is be a stupid fat old lady that cries and screams in her pillow. I HATE WHAT'S HAPPENING, I HATE IT, WHY DID THIS HAPPEN TO MY FAMILY.
Patricia,
I am so sorry you are going through this. I can't even imagine what Jojo is going through. Adults can even handle the aftermath of these senseless murders when they aren't even their kids but they expect him to just "move on". That is really sad. I tell people DO NOT EXPECT ANYTHING OF MY GIRLS or you will be disappointed. Just that we all get up everyday is a miracle most days. I see you said they have tried many things for Jojo--do they have a Crime Victim center with counselors? I am sorry but anything--Rehab, Doctors diagnosis, etc.--that has to do with the medical community, in my opinion, they can wipe their you know what with it. My daughter is dead because of the lame a** way the medical community is failing our country when it comes to mental health. What Jojo needs is someone to understand, tell him what he is feeling is normal--Survivors Guilt, deal with the trauma he is experiencing from seeing his brother, understand why he is cutting and explain why that isn't healthy and MOST IMPORTANTLY give him alternatives to release the frustration and that there is no wrong way to grieve when it comes to murder. I will be thinking of you and praying for your family. Laura
Patricia, I'm also so very sorry for all that's happening to your family. I think that Laura is right, those councilers aren't for people like us. They're for everyone else. Maybe you can call victims of violent crimes. I've heard they have good help for us. Also, at POMC I noticed that they have a list of counciling options. You could try that. God bless you Sweetie. I'll be praying hard for you and for your family.
Patricia,
My heart goes out to JoJo and to you and your family as well. I know that severe excruciating pain and the nightmares that follow after our loved one is murdered. My precious son Gerrick was murdered in our own home and when I came home I found him. I will never forget seeing my dear son lying there, I can't even handle talking about it, it hurts soooooo sooo much and the pain is constant always. When I read this, my heart broke for JoJo. I wish I knew what to say to help, but nothing does.
Take care and let us know how JoJo is doing, my thoughts are with him and you.
Love from Gerrick's Mom, Diane
Patricia I am so sorry that your family is going through this too. Jojo is going to have a hard time. This is not something you just get over. My son is going to be seeing a grief specialist. I went to one therapy session and I felt stupid. I talked to this grief specialist before I am sending my son to she was so nice and helpful that I might even go to her. Our children feel different now. Are there support groups for him there? Maybe a groups of siblings who he can talk with and feel that they understand him. I am sorry, but I don't know Oscar but it sounds like he wants theme to just go back to the way things were. That isn't possible. Nothing is ever the same. I will keep you all in my prayers.
Mom's thanks for all the personal emails and posting and prayers. I'm praying for all of you too. I copied all of these to send to Chris and maybe just maybe she can find the places you talk about. As you know I'm in Atlanta she's in Phoenix. I did check on JoJo last night, at first he didn't want to talk to me. I guess he was scared I was going to yell at him again. I didn't I begged him to forgive me and told him how much I love him and everybody loves him, we just want him to be ok and I did tell him we are all suffering, all of us together. I told him I was sorry he saw John when they murdered him, I told him I see him in my head every time I open or close my eyes, that if I could bring him back or trade places with him I would. I told him to love himself, I told him to tell me one thing he likes about himself, for the longest time he didn't say anything. I said I want you to tell me JoJo, one thing you like about yourself, just one thing. You know what he said. I was so happy and I laughed, he said, well I am really sexy looking.
I laughed then I cried and I said yes, JoJo you are sexy looking and I want you to tell me something else tomorrow, and every day we are going to tell eachother something we like about ourselves. He said what do you like about yourself. It's not as easy as you might think. I really had to think for a bit. Then I told him, I liked my voice when I sing. It did make me feel better so maybe it works. Tonight I'm going to tell him I like my hair because all day everybody has told me how pretty my hair is today.
Tell me what you like about yourself if you get a second.
love you Mom's
Thanks for listening and let me know your stories and lives.
Dear Patricia
I read with sadness about JO-Jo.How old is he? The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.He inherited your sense of humor.I thought it was wonderful that a simple thing like asking him what does he like best about himself got him talking to you.You have opened up a good line of communication,good thinking.I'm sure you will always let him know how special he is to you,he feels your love and concern.Any chance he can come stay with you for a while.You's could help each other.Well I don't know the whole story but keep up the faith and I'm glad you talk to God again.He really is the only one who can truly comfort us.MANY MANY HUGS YOUR WAY GOD BLESS Barb/Nicky's MOM
Patricia, I'm so sorry you are going thru this. It reminds me of how my oldest was after Timmy was killed. He had to id his baby brother laying there shot in the head. His baby brother, he couldn't protect him this time, he wanted to die. I thought he would, he'd call me at work and tell me he was going to kill himself and he'd just sob, and I'm at work thinking Dear God help me, please. I'd call friends up and ask them please go by my house and sit with my son and let me know he is ok. He is now away in a rehab. He has gone thru so many turmoils in his life, and he is only 22 y/o. No kid should go thur this pain, no mom, aunt, uncle, sister, brother, no one should be dealt this horror we live with now. Just try and keep talking to him, I think my son going away saved his life. I just hope when he comes home he can handle it too. I'd like to move but with the way the economy is and all, as it happened down the street from our home. God I wouldn't handle it if it happened in my home, it's bad enough down the street. I will keep you in my prayers and stay strong, I know it's not easy.
God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom
