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Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 
Deb Wiley--Now look what you have done! YOu said you don't type that well but there is no reason that you can't come in the chatroom and see what you have created! Name calling, tongue sticking out, show offs and so much more I don't even want to post on this message board. Those nice quiet little moms on the message board transform into one of the rowdiest bunches I have seen in some time just by putting them in a chatroom and handing them some "smileys"! I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am (as I am sure all the moms are) that you started this for us! I have not laughed in a long time (especially without feeling guilty) and it seems like I can't stop. Even when we are not laughing it is so personal and enjoyable it is like they are right here in my living room. My daughter's friend came down the other night and said it sounded like their were alot of people in our living room and was surprised there were only two of us in front of the computer! I just wanted to let you know how special you are and how special each and everyone of the moms are to our family. My love to all. Laura
I agree. You have (quite possibly) saved some lives. I know that, after just one visit, I'm feeling alive again. Thank You.
It's not all fun and games we mix it up what a great way to spend an evening, remembering our children through laughter and tears with other moms who understand both.
:) :(
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley
Dear Deb
Thank you from the bottom of my computer illiterate heart.I find the chat room easy to use and hope the MOMS will continue to go on.God Bless and Hugs your way.Barb/Nicky's MOM
That is so true Shirley...the tone can be serious and we are all there for each other. I hope when others arrive they realize that the tone can change very quickly and we will be there for them no matter what is on their mind. For me, and it has only been 24 1/2 weeks I feel as if I have been in black hole. The same hole that I see others have been in for years knowing that no or very little light ever shines in this hole. This chat room, no matter what the tone of the conversation, has shone light down into a place that I never thought possible. Through the bond of our angel children we have all learned that it is okay to laugh again and then who better with other moms who have been in the same hole. Of course the reality comes back once I leave the computer but the love and laughter I have found in the chat room has helped to ease the pain for me. I used to say one minute, one hour & one day at a time. Now I will add to it one smiley & one laugh at a time as each one of those two will help to heal our pain and shine light into these dark holes known as our new lives. Thanks for lighting the way Debbie. Luv U All. Laura
Yes, Yes, Yes, I've only actually had one occasion to really chat. It was with Kayt and I loved it. Plus the fact that she's one of the sweetest person's on earth itself! She mad me laugh and I need to laugh. I cry so much that when I laugh I feel like I kinda evened things out a tad.
Thanks Deb for the chat room.
Patricia
It is true that the conversation can change quickly. Last night I believe we jumped from some very serious things, to things that made us laugh to things that made us angry and back we went around again. Some times it feels like I can never laugh again and this chat room has helped me to be able to find that laughter and to also vent my anger and express my hurt. Coming home after meeting with the coroner was hard and I needed to laugh for a bit before I took my son for his birthday dinner. I didn't think I would be able to but logging in when some silly was going on made me smile. It helped me to get my mind in a different place so that I could be present for him. I still found myself through dinner tearing up but I think I covered it well. I wanted her with us so much. I hope that everyone can find what they need there and know that we are here to support each other. It also helps me to feel a special bond getting to know everyone. We have some sweet moms here and no one should be going through what we are.
I just want to know one thing though....
Did ya'll miss me tonight? :)
I've spent the past 4+ years feeling isolated,like an outcast, like no one in the whole world could pssibly understand how I felt. Well,it's sad to say, someone does understand. I've found others. This group of mothers that share one sad but true common factor. I haven't felt like this in years. I finally have friends. I finally feel like I belong. Thank you moms for laughing with me and crying with me. I'm sure that our children are looking down at us and smiling (maybe chuckling at times) because we've found each other.
I spend most of the day feeling so down and I have begun to look forward to the chat room. It is a place to feel a little normal again. To know that everyone understand the pain and the hurt and doesn't say to get over it and then to laugh again. I don't think I will ever laugh like before. Before I didn't have an underlying pain in my heart, but to have a minute. Kaylin laughed a lot and she loved to play jokes. My son is the same. Because he heard me laugh the other night, he played one on me. He drank my last Dr pepper and filled it with water and fixed it so I couldn't tell it had been opened. He laughed so hard and I know he needed that too. He and Kaylin enjoyed playing a trick on me or my husband together too. All of you MOMS are so special to me and getting to know you is wonderful. You are my lifeline so many days.
Also Joann I have been thinking about your idea for Forgotten Moms. I think we should do it. I am willing to help and do what ever is needed.
Oh ladies, if ya'll talk about me again when I am not there, please refer to me as beautiful, smart and sexy. :):)
JoAnn said she thought we should share our stories about how we have been treated and forgotten and put it together and make a book called Forgotten Moms. Plus people expect us to move on and "get over it" and forget that we never can. I thought it was a good idea.
I think it is a wonderful idea. It could be used to help those who know and love people who have lost children but have no idea some of there comments or actions add to the pain we are already going through.
The year after Wes, died I wrote an article for our local newspaper decribing what it wasd like to be the mother of a murdered child and the added pain of being talked about, blamed and even acused of some how being guilty of his death. I talked about the guilt, the undiscribable pain and the friends who I believed had abondoned me. I recieved amny called from some of those very peole, appoligising for not contacting me, for not knowing what to say and for their complete ignorance.
I really do believe that most people don't want to cause us anymore pain than we are already exsperancing but because they haven't been through a death of a child can't even fathom the pain and have no idea of the damage they do by thier total knowledge.
So yes a book filled with stories and events would be wonderful.
I think it's a great idea to, I sure have many stories to tell on that end, my son's father's family done't even bother with us, never even call my boys to say how are you, not once! My boys (especially my oldest) calls his Pop up sometimes as he worries about him as he has been ill, but not once has any of them called my kids to see if they needed anything or talk or nothing! My ex abandoned me, then would expect me to be able to help him grieve! He acted as it was all about him, and would cry to me and expect me to help him be strng??? Oh what I could say, the things people have said and done. I do thing with most people it is because they don't know what to say or do, but I also believe there are some who feel as though we are lepers and want to stay away so "it doesn't happen to them".
ok better stop while i'm ahead, but I think it is a great idea.
Bette
Timmy's mom
