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I sure miss him

I am sorry I haven't written in such a long while, just too much. I returned today because Jr's b-day is coming up and I surely miss that boy! How stupid and nieve am I when I saw page 4 of our children and honestly was surprised, I just can't believe how many animals that there are out in the world that would take one of our love ones from us, I guess that is why Jr is gone because he was as dumb and nieve as I am to believe there is good in everyone and no one would actually hurt him if he never hurt anyone. I just can't seem to stop crying these days and I try hard not to let anyone else see me because I have already been told by family members that all I want to do is feel sad, and that's not true, I do have days where I don't feel sad, I just have days where I do because I can't stop thinking of what he would be doing right now, or how proud he would be of his children playing sports and going to school functions and seeing his baby boy grow up. I am sorry to all of the family that I seem to offend by feeling sad, but I don't know what to do, I know it has been 20 months since they took my son, but I know in my heart it feels like it was just yesterday.I just found out that the pig that killed my son is allowed to have visitors while he serves his life sentence. I asked the lady that I spoke to how fair was that when my grandchildren only get to visit a grave and not see their daddy.She only said I know and asked if she could do anything else for me? Oh well I guess only if you have walked in our shoes can you really understand.My heart goes out to everyone of you MOM's and I hope that you have a good day.
With love and prayers
Frances Jr's mom

Re: I sure miss him

Frances.. It's o.k.! your Jr. has only been gone less than 2 years,you cry and grieve when you feel the need, shame on anyone who would tell a mother she wants to feel sad over the murder of her son, My son Tommy has been gone 5 years now and nothing has changed, I cry for him ,I miss him all the time, everyday, and that is the way it is. If anyone can't understand it..Bye.
I don't think our Son's were stupid, I think they were too trusting, they say only the good Die young , well I tend to believe it, Tom loved people and would give the shirt off his back to anyone who needed it, he trusted to much. and the very people he trusted and cared about took his life from him and mine from me. I'm so very hurt that so many women are on this site and suffering this kind of needless pain. you just be kind to yourself Frances, and cry when you need to, it helps the heart to cope with the break, the part thats missing,I will lite Jr's candle here on the mom's lite a candle site at the bottom of the home page, it's a nice place to go too and send a message. Love and prayers ....Jackie Tommy's moma

Re: I sure miss him

You are so right about everything. Lisa was kind and compassionate and some sick bast*** killed her. He just picked her out for no reason. Others probaly shunned this man because of his disposition while Lisa felt compassion for him and now she is gone. I in one way wish I had told her never talk to people like that. I did tell her to be careful as they can be very unpredictable but never that they might kill her. The Dr.s knew he wanted to kill someone but didn't feel it is important enough to take him seriously. We had a couple moms on the chat room last night that haven't been on in awhile and this is the place to come no matter how long it has been we will always be here and unfortunately growing in numbers as I am one of the newer moms and it is so sad how many more have been added since Lisa. And how many more since you ladies have been here is very very sad. Time only reminds us of how long our lives have been without our angels and make us wonder how we have survived and how we will ever keep going knowing the pain will always be there and our hearts so broken. If they haven't walked in our shoes they should not try to tell us what we should do instead be amazed that we are survivors and the victims over and over again when we see all the rights these murderers have and all the injustices we must fight through just to survive. All our love. Family of Lisa Maas....Laura

Re: I sure miss him


Don't even listen to anyone who tells you not to be sad, we will all have days when we are sad to the point of crying our eyes out. When people ask me how I am doing I always say OK or well you know doing the best I can. I have bad days and worse days the bad days are my good days. Anyone telling me I shouldn't be sad or I need to get over it can go straight to the devil. With Jr's birthday coming up it is only natural for you to feel sad.
Sending you a big HUG
Jimmy's Mom Shirey

Re: I sure miss him

Hi Frances,
I have visited Jr's site and have wondered how you have been doing? You have not been here for awhile. I totally know how you are feeling becuse I have been feeling the same way. I have been feeling so sad that anything brings me to tears. Especially when I think of my mijto. I miss him so much. It is one year and six months since he has been gone from me. His birthday is December 9. Last year I had a birthday party for him and I invited the family and his kids and we had a barbecue and let balloons go and I had them bring a gift which I donated to the homeless shelter. This year I just want to celebrate by myself. I don't want anybody over. So that way I can cry all I want and not have anybody tell that I need to let him go! I hate when anybody tells me that. That I need to go on with my life. What the hell do they think I am doing? I get up from bed everyday, I go to work, my house is clean. Nobody will understand until it happens to them. I feel so alone. My heart and prayers go out to you and all the MOMS here. Only we know the pain of losing our child...especially thru murder.

Re: I sure miss him

Dear Frances
How my heart breaks for you.In a grieving book I read some of the insensitive remarks people make were listed.One in particular unfortunately is probably said by many.How are you doing? Reply not too well.other person Still? Reply yeah my son is still dead.1 yr,5 yrs 20 yrs,60 yrs I will still be sad as well as all the other MOMS at the loss of my son.On a better note I also read one mothers thought that has brought me much comfort.She said that at the end of the day she doesn't look at it as one more day that she hasn't seen her son but rather one day closer to seeing him again.I will pray for you but I think harder for your family to be able to try to understand the pain and heartache this tragedy brings and to give you the comforting words you need to hear.God Bless Barb/Nicky's MOM

Re: I sure miss him

Frances, don't let anyone tell you how you feel. Our children will always be our children and it doesn't matter how long they have been gone, we miss them. We will be sad for the rest of our lives because part of our life is missing. Kaylin was trusting too. A supposed friend killed her. She had such faith in her friends and he killed her. Our children who are caring and trusting are the true treasures. Those who would hurt them are just evil. I worry how much evil there is out there now and it seems to be growing. I came here just after Laura and it hurts to see the ones who are still coming. No one should have to belong to this group, yet I am thankful it is here for those of us who have lost our child.