It's been 1yr (Sept. 28, 2007)since my 16yr.old son was murdered. He was killed in a drive-by shooting and the murderer is still at-large. I shared only 20 minutes of life with him and a kiss on the cheek after he asked to go outside to play basketball. With the promise to return home by 8pm, I sat in my room watching the clock as it struck 8:05pm, wondering why he's late. Instead, I got a strange knock at the door telling me that my son just had been shot. I ran to the scene and all I saw was a white sheet on the ground and plenty of lights from the ambulance & police. Marq had been shot in the left buttock, the bullet ricochet to the pelvis and severed an artery. I was so devestated, angry and scared. This will be my first Thanksgiving without my son and I need much support from other moms who lost their sons just to get through the holidays. If you hear me, please respond. Thanks

Aminah,
I am so sorry for your loss,I just wonder what the odds of that would be 10,000 to one maybe. My son was shot in the chest I don't know how but the bullet traveled downward and hit vital organs the Dr. said Jim's heart kept filling up with blood and there was nothing they could do to save him.
This will also be my first Thanksgiving without my Jim, he was murdered on Dec 16th 2007. I am going to say a prayer on Thanksgiving a special prayer for all the mom's going down this rocky road.
God Bless
Sending Hugs your way.
Jimmy's Mom Shirley

Thanks for your response and I'll keep you in my prayers as well. Let's stay in touch and get each other through the rough times.

Dear Aminah
I am so sorry for your loss this too will be my first Thanksgiving without my Nicky who was also shot.Here one minute gone the next,so unfair.Stay strong and try to be around those who love you even if you don't feel like talking to them.Do what your heart feels like doing,not what everyone else wants you to do or thinks you should do.My girlfriend told me that they had it right in the old days.When someone died they were in mourning for at least a year and no body thought to ask them to go to parties and celebrate the holidays.I'm trying to think of something different to do,nothing will ever be the norm again.I wish the invitations would stop,I know everyone means well but I'm tired of feeling like I have to go anywhere.I might just stay in my pj's and order a turkey sandwich,like it's any other day.Try to stay strong,write me whenever you want,I will always try to return within hours.MUCH Hugs your way God Bless Barb/Nicky's MOM

so sorry about your son my son was killed july 27 2007 .this is my 2nd year with out my son the first year was so hard i lost outher family members with in one year apart.i know the pain is hard to bear we all are here for you .just e mail us my prayers are with you joann-hubert-mom.

Hi Aminah,
I am so sorry for the loss of your son Marq. My son was murdered on May 6, 2007. This will be my second year of holidays without my son. The first year I don't really remember what I did. This year I have volunteered to work Thanksgiving and Christmas. They had told me that the second year sometimes is harder than the first and I guess it really is. I just don't want to celebrate this year. I wish I could just go to bed and sleep untill January. The only thing I will celebrate is his birhtday...December 9. I miss my son so much. I am still asking "Why? Why?" My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am glad you found this site. Everyone here will give you as much support as they can. Take care. God bless you.

Aminah
I too am so sorry for the loss of your presious son Marq. This will be my 6th year without my son Wes.We have changed many traditions to suit ourselves. We do have Thanksgiving and Christmas but we now focus on those that have no family or friends to visit or share with. It took a few years to make the changes but each one has been around what we thought Wes, would want and do.It has taken many tears to get this far but I have noticed a change and I do feel more peace and acceptance but it has taken a lot of faith and silent guidance.
Peace be with you and yours at this difficult and heart wrenching time of the year.

Hi,Aminah
I am sorry about the loss of your son.My son was killed April 16,2008 and everything is so fresh, it feels like it was just yesterday.This will be my first thanksgiving without him and I've really been feeling it because his birthday is on Christmas.I'm usually the one that brings the family together for the holiday and this year,I know it will be hard.Through reading so many of the posts here, It's just hard for all the moms.I will be praying for you and I am asking God to bring Whoever did this to your (Marq) out of hiding.My prayers are with you and your family.God Bless!

Aminah
Everybody is here for you. I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain is beyond anything I have ever experienced. Was there any witnesses? I take it it's unsolved. I think the Holidays are the hardest. This is our first Thanksgiving without John. Nobody wants to do anything. Decorate, cook, I don't know what's going to happen.
thinking about you.
Patricia

I too am sorry for your loss. My son was 15 when he was killed, shot to the backof his head walking home from the store. They just made an arrest in Sept. (14 months later) so now we have court right in December. I think the holidays are the worse ever. This will be my 2nd Thanksgiving w/o my baby, and the pain is just as bad as the first. God Bless and the mom's here are wonderful people, I would never have gotten this far w/o having a place here to come to.

Bette
Timmy's mom

Aminah, you have come to the right place for support! My son Andre's was shot to death in a park on 10/6/07 he was 17 years old .Yesterday was his birthday.As in your sons case they have no suspect in my sons murder.So, I know how that feels.I don't even really remember the holidays last year it was all so fresh & I was numb.I just get a sick feeling evenb thinking about the holidays I have 5 other children that I must try to not spoil it for them but it is so hard.We are here for you & believe me we know what you are going through we are all @ different stages in dealing with this but all united with this awful bond of not having our beautiful children here.We all pray together grieve together & try to heal together!
God bless you & keep you,
Vickie/Andre's mom

Aminah,

I'm sorry for your loss, it's so hard to lose our babies to this crazy world. I had to wait a week to see my Randy, he was out of town traveling home when a homeless guy freaked out and stabbed him in the throat and he bled to death before anyone got there to help. His girlfriend who was there tried to get help and even tried to run the guy down with her car. They say he went fast, cut a main artery in the left side of his neck. The guy got off, they even gave him his knife back! I'm still in shock, it was 1 year on Oct 16. The site helps, everyone says they are there for us, but nobody understands like other moms who have been there. We are here for you.

I would like to thank everyone who responded to my cry of pain. It's good to know that I AM NOT ALONE. I've been isolating myself from people just to avoid them saying what I should or should not be doing. They don't know what I'm feeling and really don't care. They figure it's been 1yr and I should be healed but what do they know. I'm glad my therapist introduced to this site and getting a response from you all made me feel a whole lot better. Trust me, I will be visiting this site daily, checking up on everyone and making my self available to see how everyone else is doing. I will pray for each and every mom out there asking God to spare his mercy on us with ease. Let's all stay in touch because our need for support is very crucial.

Again,

Thanks for the response.

Aminah

Dear Aminah
This is my 2nd Holiday season without my Jr. He was shot on Feb 21, 2007 Ash Wednesday and believe me the first although hard I feel as though you are perfectly numb to everything around you, me and my husband didn't even put up a tree or decorate last year, Now this year Jr's b-day is Nov. 26 he would have been 28 and Turkey day is Nov 27 and I am already feeling anxious and crying every moment of the day especially when I see one of his pictures in the hall way or on the wall. I honestly hope that you hold it together and you will be okay, Just remember that you are not alone and if you need a voice to talk to we are here for you. Mom's was there for me in the beginning and continues to be here for me, even though I haven't written in a while. I know they are always there for support and someone to vent at when everyone else is kinda of tired of you. My thoughts, love and prayers will be with you through this holiday season.
Frances Jr's mom

Aminah,

Try not to be so hard on the people around you, it's not that they don't care, they just don't know what to say, and let's face it, there's not much if anything they can do for us. They are just trying to get us to go back to "normal". Unfortunately, we will never be the people we were before the world shifted on us. I just try and let them off the hook and smile alot and let them think I'm getting on with my life, especially here at work.

Seems we need to do this so others don't feel so helpless and uncomfortable around us. I've lost a few friends bacause they couldn't handle me falling apart all the time. They mean well, they really do, but some just can't handle the day-to-day struggle we have. I find as time goes on, it's more personal and I mourn in private. I even go to the cemetary alone. It's whatever works for you.

Hope you feel better today,
Donna, Randys mom