Hi MOMS,
Last night at the POMC support group meeting we had a speaker come and talk to us about getting thru the holidays when we've lost a loved one. Her name is Darcie D. Sims. She is a bereaved parent who specializes in grief management, a nationally certified thanatologist, a certified pastoral bereavement specialist and a licensed psychotherapist and hypnotherapist, but mostly she brings a warmth and special humor to teaching us how to cope with the loss of our loved ones. She is the author of "Why are the Casseroles Always Tuna?" and "Footsteps Through the Valley" as well as "Touchstones" And "If I Could Just See Hope." She made us laugh and she made us cry. She talked about being patient and realistic, Listening to our hearts and acknowledging our limits, adapting cherished traditions, focusing on the spiritual dimension of the holidays but when she spoke about allowing the tears to come, but look for joy amidst the pain she had everyone crying. She said as you unpack and sift through holiday decorations(if you decide to decorate)understand that along with the warm, loving memories, you will be unpacking some heartaches as well. Don't deny yourself the gift of healing tears. Lay in a supply of tissues and don't be surprised if you find tears coming, when you least expect them. Sometimes all we can remember are the painful details surrounding our loved one's death. This holiday season, try also to remember all the wonderful moments of your loved one's life. Think of all the gifts your loved one has given to you...joy, laughter, affection, companionship. Write these gifts on strips of paper. Put them in a gift box or place them in a stocking. Decorate the tree with them or keep them in a memory book or a private drawer. Whatever choice you make, you will be celebrating the joy your loved one has brought into your life. When you've lost a loved one, the holiday season can be a painful reminder of the terrible loss you are feeling...instead of bringing warmth, love, and excitement. The first few years are perhaps the most difficult, but even years later, the holidays may lack the joy they once had for you. The holidays can become a time of peace and reflection, a time to cherish the gift your loved one has been...and continues to be...in the life of your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with all of you. May God always be at your side. Sending hugs to all. {{{}}}
It's been so hard all year. Every Hoilday that goes by is hard. Now Thanksgiving is coming. Dear God, Our Family is falling apart by the seams. Last year was big during Thanksgiving and Christmas but this year I know it will be different. Nobody wants to do anything. Nobody wants to cook. We use to have such a good time now,,,,,,,,,, The thought of it alone makes me cry. John loved Pumpkin Pie. Loved to get a piece of Turkey pile dressing and cranberry on it and stuff the whole piece in his mouth. Then he'd roll his eyes in circles and patt his belly. My God, we use to all laugh about the things he would do and say. He was the entertainer. Nobody could ever top his jokes and that beautiful smile. So many of the family members are just saying try to forget. Put in behind you and move on. My cousin told me not to think of the dead, I won't let them rest. I couldn't say anything to her. Nothing,,,,,,,,, I don't know, my Sister is trying to forget and move on. I can't. I won't. I want to see those POS get what ever the court throws at them.
I'm sorry Angie, I go on and on. I just have to vent sometimes. I've been through hheellll with this drinking and trying to stay sober sucks. I have a temper. I'm nicer when I'm drunk. Oh well. I'll close here. Be safe, try to not forget, I don't care what they say. My kids will stay with me forever.
hi angie,i love the way you put it.that is a good ideal,i will try that hubert love my cooking he love my gumbo- pasta,with shrimps-crawfish.this year will be a little hard but i will get thru it with god help.i know hubert will be with us ,he would like that.and for me not to be sad all the time like i use to do sending my love and prayers joann-hubert-mom.
