I haven't written poems since I was a little kid. I had these thoughts in my head as I was on the train. It is just a simple verse but the feeling was so strong I wrote it down when I got to work. I knew what I was thinking then was better I wish I had a pen :) So I wanted to share it with you mom's. It's how my heart feels.
My heart is broken, I feel no joy
I ask God why, where is my little boy?
I remember the days gone by, how fast they seem to grow
Never in a million years did I think I’d see my baby go.
He had the biggest bluest eyes, and a funny crooked grin
Why God why, did this have to happen to him?
He was only with me fifteen years, my wonderful baby son
When evil took over two men’s hearts, and brandished a killing gun
My heart is broken, I feel no joy
I ask God why, where is my little boy?
I see him in my dreams at night, or when I close my eyes
I hear his whisper in my ear, oh mommy please don’t cry.
I hope one day I’ll feel that joy again when together we will be,
You are my angel now, watching over me.
At heavens gate, we will meet again, and hold each other tight
My heart will heal, and joy I’ll feel when God turns wrong to right.
Oh what a beautiful poem.I always wrote poems and I wrote 2 about Nicky however I can't seem to put into words how his death has affected me.I guess one day that will happen in the meantime hope you don't mind if I read yours over and over again.Take care and God Bless Barb/Nickys MOM
Well done Bette! your poem is Beautiful. How sad we have to live our lives like this now, completely changed and broken, and here we are again the Holiday season is at hand , writting helps put the aching somewhere other than in the pit of the stomach, it's good you write so beautifully , if you don't mind I will read it over and over and think of my Tommy......LOVE to you and Timmy.
Jackie Tommy's moma
What a beautiful poem Bette. I used to write poems too but since Jody's murder I just cannot put the words onto paper. The part about "mommy please don't cry" is heartbreaking because I know that our children wouldn't want us to cry everyday like we do. However, it's impossible to give birth to a child, take care of that child's every need, love that child for years and then an evil person just rip our babies from us. I tell people that losing a child, especially to homicide, is the closest thing to death.
What a beautiful poem. It really touches because I think we can all relate to the feeling in it.
Great job the poem is beautiful, I always start poems and never finish. I love the part about mommy don't cry for me. I know all our children wish we weren't so sad and heartbroken.
Love and hugs
that is a beautiful poem,I think you have touched all the moms. I'm in the process of writing one to read in memory of my (Reggie) for the holiday.this will be my way of having him with us for the holidays.
God bless you and Timmy!
That is a beautiful poem you wrote for Timmy, I'm not much for writing and it alway amazes me how people can put words together so well, I guess I should have paid more attention in English class lol!
Hugs to you.
oh,betty your poem is so beautiful.i do love mommy please don't cry.joann(hubert)mom.
I used to write poems a lot. For her memorial we used the one I wrote for my mama five years ago when she died. She was close to her Nanny so we used it. At her funeral we released purple balloons and a poem that I wrote for both of my kids when they were little was read before. It was about where do balloons go. I was always worried they might bite them and choke so I would always have them let them go after they had enjoyed them for awhile. I would tell them it was time to let the balloon go to heaven so that there would be lots of balloons there waiting for when they got to heaven for their welcome home party. I was supposed to be at that party waiting for them,, not having them go before me. Anyway, at her funeral we released 20 balloons to reach heaven for her welcome home party. About a month after she died I wrote the "You Didn't Say Goodbye" poem. It hurt that we didn't get the chance for that. Now I start a lot that I don't finish either. Sometimes when the pain is so bad I try to write it down to help but I can't anymore.
Bette, I do believe that writing is cathartic. I have a journal that I write letters to her in. It helps somedays and others I can't write anything.
I think the poem you wrote for him was so touching.
I wrote poems all my life but the last poem I wrote was when Julie died.
this poem you wrote made me cry so hard I was sobbing. My God it's beautiful. Write more, if you have the talent and it will ease some of your pain and help you grieve so you can do some healing. I think Timmy knows you wrote it. He loves his Mommy so so much and misses you. Write him some more.
Gosh, why do we have to suffer so much, what has become of our world where our kids get killed and we can't do anything about it.
OMG thank you all so much, you are all so kind and wonderful. I will tell you I don't write poems, did when I was younger, I had written a journal for Timmy I was also told it would help me. I did for quite some time for months but then when I'd go to write at ngith when I usually wrote I couldn't. I would sit there and cry and cry, it became so bad for me that I can't even pick that journal book up. I talk to him at night when I say my prayers. Then I cry too, but not as bad as when I write in my journal. I just felt this need on the train going to work, I had the words just coming into my head, I wished i had a pen with me at the time, so when I got to work I knew somewhat what I wanted to say. And I'll be honest with you all, I cried when I wrote it especially the part about not crying. Because I know my son always got upet when I was upset, he'd stand by me (I had lots of problems wth my oldest son at this time) and he would just sit with me, not say anything, but be there. That comfort is gone forever. i will never be the same, my life to me is over really, I keep going on for my other boys without them there would be no meaning. Especially with the holidays coming and the b/d's, it's just to much to bear. There are days that I know I can't do it, but some how with God's help, I make it thru the day. But I'm not really living at all.
Thank you again for letting me share my poem with you and for all the kind words.
What a beautiful tribute to Timmy. I found writing to be very healing and wrote a lot after Wes, died. I was even fortunate enough to have a friend's son put one of them to music which is on his memory-of page.
We will be with our sons again and the wrongs will be made right.
Love and Light Kayt
I know why sometimes I don't post for a while.
I read and read and read all the heart breaking grieving and I cry so hard I get sick. Makes my head pound and this God forbidden temper of mine.
Bette, every time you and the others too write about the pain you have I feel it. So sometimes I won't even look or read. Just to rest. Just to rest. Especially now that I'm not drinking.
Right this very second I'd love to just gulp down a shot of vodka and chase it with a nice cold beer.
Oh well, monkey in a cage, signing out.
I'd still like to see you write more.
Another beautiful poem I think just maybe you have found the one thing that will make you feel somewhat better. Keep it up I love them both. And Timmy is saying RIGHT ON MOM!!!
Love and Hugs CYA tonight hopefully.
Jim's Mom Shirley