It sometimes surprises me the things that were taken away and that Kaylin will never do now. Of course the wedding and the grandchildren were things we mourned immediately. Tonight though, tonight was hard. I went to vote and while there they made a big production out of an 18 year old. Yelling "first time voter." It brought tears to my eyes. I remember Kaylin registering to vote and coming home all excited yet bummed that she would have to wait two years to vote in her first Presidential election. She looked forward to it. It was just another reminder of what was taken from her, from us. I always take my kids with me when I vote. I thought back to when Kaylin was three years old. She was very decided in who she was for. I took her to vote with me in 92 and I can remember her looking up at me and in the serious voice of a three year old she asked me if I wanted her to vote for me. I told her no that I would do it and seeing the seriousness on her face when she told me to just make sure I voted the right way. I always got a chuckle out of that memory. It was bittersweet tonight. My baby never even got the chance to vote. Something she looked forward to. It feels like every time I turn around there are reminders of things that are lost and can never be done. I know it may seem a small thing, but it was just another reminder that she is gone and I miss her so much.
Glad to see you back on I was worried about you. You are right about another thing taken away however it is not a small thing her voting. Our beautiful children are what would shape the world as the next generation. When the world loses one we lose part of the generation that could change the world and make it less ugly instead of being left with the criminals and those who don't care about changing it and making it a better place. Every part of our loss is big not only to us but it is a big loss to the world. We were informed that a law has been passed that our immediate family is no longer able to serve on a jury. I am not sure if it is just in PA or nationwide. Our rights as well as Lisa's right to serve on a jury has been taken away because we might favor the victim. I am sure the criminals family can serve though because they wouldn't show any partialty to the accused right? Take care and know you are in our thoughts and prayers. Laura
Memories and things taken away from us. That's what I live on. It's so hard. I really don't feel like I have control. As for the voting, I know how Julie and John would have voted. Julie never got to vote either. She will stay 17 forever.
Kim, It's not a small thing, it's everything. And the pain is real. I wish I had known Kaylin. I thinkg her and Julie would have been really good friends.
sometimes I think the small things hurt the most, because they are the simple little things of every day life that we are missing from our child. Like I always thing that Timmy will never learn to drive, he always wanted to, and become a mechanic, and get married and have 4 kids LOL, yes he told me that!!! He missed his big sweet 16, this year he would have been 17, but he will always be 15 forever. I think how he would have loved to see the Phillies win the World Series, or the Steelers win the Superbowl. Never getting to vote either, I remember him asking me something, and standing there going please mom, please mom, please mom, he'd drive me nuts I'd finally give in! I miss his voice, I miss the noise and all his friends coming over. How he loved having his friends over, sleep overs every weekend. Sigh.......................
Laura and I were chatting last night and wondering how you are doing.
My son was never into voting guess that might be because I have never voted. Don't know why I just never have. I miss so many things too Jim would always come in wanting to watch something on tv he would say "Hey mom are you really watching this? I can't believe you watch this stuff." He knew I would tell him he could change the channel then we would be watching Jack Ass or Cage Fighting, he also liked to watch cooking shows. Don't know what was up with that.
Love and Hugs
Jimmy's Mom Shirley
The last few days have been a lot harder then normal. Some I think because I have been sick, some because his arraignment is coming up, holidays are coming up, work is short staffed, and I think the reality is sitting in more. For awhile I was trying to live in denial. She was just out of town or at a friends but now it is becoming harder to pretend that she is just out. I have never gone so long without seeing her, talking to her, hearing her laugh, arguing with her. I just want to see her so bad and hug her. I hate this so bad.