It's been 3 years since the horrible witch assaulted Leah and put her in her near vegetative state, today started the end of my babys life. It isnt as hard as her death day, but this was a second death day to me, which is hard also. I have two milestones a year to get through. Today started such a hellish journey. We sat all nite, waiting to see if she lived or died, not knowing what could have possibly happened to her. She spent three weeks in a coma, again, unexplained. When she woke, we had every hope and joy that she was ok, survived and would be back, only to watch her deteriorate. Wondering if we did the right thing for her in fighting, and seeing her every day struggle, not being able to do anything, not even communicate w anyone. The only communication she had were her eyes, and her heart. It was as though we knew in our hearts what she needed, how she felt.
Had to take the day off, because Im sickened by the thoughts that are racing through my head.
Beverly, I can not imagine reliving the memories you live with, May God please lighten your pain and give you peace in knowing that your Beautiful Leah is wrapped in so much love and happiness that we can not begin to know. Beverly, our memories of what happened to our babies can really take a toll on our spirits, we have to try to block the thoughts of what happened to our babies because it's really the devil trying to add more pain to the burden of sorrow we have been handed, we have to reach out to our faith in God and ask for Peace and trust that God has Leah,Tommy ,Reginald and all our Children safe. I can say this 5 years of feeling just like you do . Tommy was the youngest of my 2 son's he was a wonderful young man who never hurt anyone, he saved a couple of young womens lives in the year before his murder, he was on his way to his girl friends house after work on 6.13.03 his body was found in the St. Johns river 3 days later he had been shot many times tied and thrown away like garbage, I never saw his body or was able to say good bye, his death destroyed my very soul, my life will never be the same,my thoughts of what that night and what he was put through torment me if i allow myself to think about it,I get physically sick. yes I have 2 daughters and my eldest son, grandchildren, and a husband, but I tell you and I know every mother here feels this way, to have your child ripped away from you and harmed in such a way really test your ability to go on surviving in this world, all feelings of love are removed ,hope is taken away,and trust in anything is gone, and then God steps in and says No More! give it to me my child and I will take care of everything. and he dose. this site Deb has made for her son Phillip and the women that come here, have held me up on my bad days but God alone has made me love and trust again, don't let the the evil win or have one more day of your life, Leah wants you to live and be happy. Love and Prayers...Jackie Tommy's momma
I'm so sorry you had to go through this, so much heartache just having to lose your child to murder than to have to watch them suffer. I pray God keeps you strong, I know it is so hard, the heartache inside you is so deep. Many hugs.
I know I have said this time after time but I wish there was a way I could take your pain away. I think the painful memories will some day be replaced with good wonderful memories. I hope your memories of Leah will soon be of happy times.
Much Love
Jimmy's Mom
Shirley
