I am glad I went to this event. It was really pretty crazy because the ceremony was at the Nat. Press Club, a block from the White House. Several of the U.S. reoresentatives who were supposed to speak were over at the White House dealing with the big bailout mess but to their credit they did come and speak and were not even that late. I like most of you do not have much faith in the legal system but it is good to know that there are some people involved in those systems who do care. One of the speakers had been a prosecutor and also a judge in Texas for many years and tried and heard many homicide cases. The story is too long for me to put here but I just wanted you all to know that he was so touched by the victims and the families of victims that he became inbvolved in fightting for victims rights on a national level and there were others from the judicial system who were doing the same, and were instrumental in creating a day of remembrance. None of us will be able to reverse what has happened to our children or other family members whose lives were so horribly taken but for me working on trying to keep this from happening to someone else's family is important. At least it feels like there is some thing I can do that Keara would want me to do. I am also starting a support group for family members and friends of homicide victims here where I live. I can't believe this is what I am doing now and this nightmare is part of my life. I have wanted so many times to just be dead too but know that I can't do that. Keara's children are here and I have other children and grandchildren who don't live close by but who would be devastated if I were to end my life. That said I guess I have to stay here at least for now. My heart breaks for anyone who finds themselves on this site but I am glad it is here and thanks Kayt for letting me know about it. Well i am rambling. I love you all.