https://www.facebook.com/MOMS-Mothers-of-Murdered-SonsDaughters-204883439
You can find on Facebook at:
Debbie Wiley – MOMS Founder 
hi mom's it will be so hard on thursday that will be 2yrs since ernest was murdered and his birthday will be sunday i dont want to acknowledge that day because he was ripped from my family on that day what should i do? i dont want to go put flowers on his grave on that day for some reason i feel it is wrong i can't really explain why i feel like that i am planning on driving with my son and daughter on sunday on his birthday to the cemetery, someone please tell me am i wrong i need to know i did not want to go on that day because that is the day they took ernest's life my family and i would have never thought in a million years that somthing like this would have ever happened. i just dont know why i feel like this please i need to know how you mom's would handle this.this is a hard decision to make his birthday is 10-5 help!!!! please thank you love to you all. cheryl
Cheryl,
Emotions are a strange thing all I can tell you is to go with your heart, do what makes feel you feel right. You can not change the way you feel don't compound it by doing something you don't want to do. There are many ways to honor your son I had my son cremated I have him at home with me I keep flowers for him and I try to keep a candle burning for him also. Just follow your heart.
Sending many Hugs to you.
Jimmy’s Mom
Shirley
jimmy's mom, you know i told my other son that i wished i would of done the same for ernest because i allways had him home with me thanks for your kind suggestion it really helps i just feel like i am celebrating something these cowards did to my ernest on that day it will be a day etched in my heart deeply i birthed ernest into this world 10-5-87 so that will be the day i spend with him any many more days i just can not do 10-2. thak you sister mom love cheryl mom to ernest n craytonIII
Cheryl,
Don't let anyone tell you what you feel is right or wrong. I have relatives doing it and I pretty much have been telling them where to put it! I haven't been to the cemetary since the verdict came in. I'm just not ready. Maybe just put flowers in your house, light a candle, go to church, whatever feels right. Please don't make yourself sadder doing things that may cause you more pain.
When we went to WV for court, everyone wanted me to go to the place where it happened and to my ex-husbands grave (I've never been there) and we just left instead. The other people there didn't understand it, I just couldn't face the place where he bled to death. Don't think I ever will and nobody is going to make me do it.
Maybe just get together and have a quiet dinner. Whatever you do honey, don't do anything to make it hurt anymore then it already does.
Big Hugs and love,
Donna
Randy's mom
Cheryl, I can understand you not wanting to acknowledge that day. Oct 1 will be three months for us and it is so hard that I cannot even imagine 2 years without her. You have to get through that day the best way for you. No one can tell you what you should do, but I can tell you I understand how you feel.
I have gone out to the spot that Kaylin was found. It is so secluded and I find that the spot I go to scream and to yell that it is not fair and I want her back. I guess since I cannot lash out at the boy, I have to lash out at the place. I hate that place, but it seems to be the one place I can go scream and not worry that I will "bother" anyone. I wish none of us had to go through this. I wish you didn't have to wonder what to do that day. I am sending hugs your way.
My son's 1 yr. anniv. was 7/13/08. I held a candle light vigil for him. It helped to have his friends and my family, friends and neighbors there. We released balloons. You need to do what you feel right in your heart. My baby would have been 16 this past New Year's Eve. A holiday that I know I can never celebrate ever again because my son is gone and each time a new year rings in is another year my son has been taken from me, another birthday gone. I went to the cemetary with balloons that day. I don't know what I will do this birthday. I will go with what my heart and soul can do.
God Bless
Bette
Timmy's mom
Cheryl, I too have been trying to figure out what if anything to do as my son will be gone one year next Monday 10/6.I say go with your heart do what you feel is best for you.I think it is great for you to celebrate his birthday rather then doing something to mark his passing.Just get through it how ever you have to.I will be thinking of you and holding you & your family up in prayer!!!
Vickie/Andre's mom
It is so hard to know what to do and i really bekieve it is an indivdual decision ansd that or no rights or wrongs, Your child is with you all the time and it's important to do what is important and feels right for you, Please don't let anyone pressure you to something that you don't want todo. Keara hwas murdered 21/2 years ago and whenever any occasion comes up I just try to pay attention to how I feel and do what's right for me at that time. Idon't there can be ant right or wrong way to do this. Please just to what you need to do to best take care of yourself. Love you.
Darien/Keara's Mom
Cheryl,
Our thoughts will be with you tomorrow and Sunday. Even though it has only been 4 months we struggle with every Thursday. It seems Ernest situation is similar as Lisa was taken the day before her 19th birthday. So how that will play out we will have to see when the time comes. I agree with a "celebration" if that is what you can call it of the birthday but of course the day before we will be so saddened and remembered as the last day she was will us. I agree with all the moms for this as well as everything we encounter. It is a personal decision that there is no right or wrong answer. The only right answer is whatever you need to do...and nobody needs to know why because even if you had an answer very few if any would ever understand. Our love to all. Laura
