Hi Mom's, I need advice..I HAD been friends with a girl since Jr. high school, I am still friends with her sisters but her I avoid. well her son was with his gangbanger homie and the other guy shot and killed a young man who had just became a father, they are both in jail awaiting trial, I happened to see the mother of the young man that got killed while paying a bill recently and tried to talk to her (I don't know her ) I asked how her court case was going and she asked if she knew me I told her NO that I knew the other defendants mom she said she did not want to talk to anyone that was friends with his mom or him, I said that I knew this person back in the day and was not friends with her for many years now, that she does try to talk to me when I would see her in the street but I do not hang around with her or anything like that. I feel sympathy for this hurting mom, I know of her plight through local papers and I just wanted to tell her that I was sorry for her loss and that I hope they both get what is comming to them, I do not feel sorry for either boy, a life taken in the name of a gang is stupid and uncalled for. I think I know this woman's older sisters from Jr. high and High school also but not too sure, see we all grew up in the same part of the city as teens then as adults we all ended up in another city. although I did not know her son I am sure he was a fine young man, just wrong place wrong time and some punk POS gangbanger thought is was alright to take his life. my question is should I try to talk to her again if I see her? just to let her know that I feel for her pain and that I feel that the other guy that was there that didn't shoot should get the same as the shooter? or should I just leave it alone? she did tell me that the non shooter's mother threatened to kill her in court..oh, that was so wrong, that mother has been in and out of jail for drugs and robbery,and now she wants to threaten someone's life, as a matter of fact that mom is in jail as her son's trial is about to begin, that is the reason that I am not really friends with her, she did not bring her children up right, all her boys are in jail for one reason or another. maybe her son had no Idea that the other guy was gonna shoot anyone but he also didn't go to the sheriff and tell them what happened, he waited to be arrested...code of a gangbanger, so I feel he deserves what he gets...at some point do you feel we should hold the parents responsiable for promoting the lifestyle they let their kids leed? I feel like I'm rambeling so I will stop here. hugs V

vickie, do you have the ladies address? Maybe a card to tell her what you just said you wanted to tell her. That way you have tried to reach out and have let her know you are available to talk and help her. Then the ball would be in her court so to speak. As for holding parents responsible. My own opinion is that if a parent has tried to do everything they can to help their child and the child just went against that and did this, then no they are victims in a way too. However, if the parents have done nothing to make sure their child becomes a productive member of society and have encouraged their delinquency by not doing anything to stop it or to tell them what they are doing is wrong then I think they contributed to their child becoming the kind of person who could murder. Those parents should be held accountable in some way, but that is my opinion.