I wish I could have died before my son. I never thought I would have to outlive him.
The most I ever did for you, was to outlive you but that is much.(Edna St. Vincent Millay)
We are not prepared, most of us, to be left behind. We thought we would die before our child. And yet, here we are having to cope with this aloneness at the same time. Even though outliving our child who we loved so much was never part of our plan, never part of our expectation, it is, in a way, our gift to our child. It is we, instead of our child, who are experiencing the sorrow.
I am alone and I am lonely, but if I were asked to decide between being the cause for sorrow or accepting the sorrow of loss, which would I select? I am here to go, to carry the legacy of my relationship into the days ahead, to make bright my childs memory, to see it as a fire from which I can forge a future.
God bless you Moms. Always thinking and praying for all of us who's heart is so broken it hurts to breath sometimes. Lots of {{{}} to all of you.
